Prophecy Part Three: Fallen Angels
by Meghan Elizabeth
Summary: When Vicki Ann returns to DS9, yet another secret is revealed about her pastand her career is in jeopardy. She struggles to find something to believe in as her first love-medicine- is taken away. Also, Julian must struggle to save a friend who got involve
1. Default Chapter

Title: Prophecy Part Three: Fallen Angels   
Author: Meghan Elizabeth   
Series: Crossover- DS9/TNG (more DS9)   
Part: NEW 1/?   
Rating: PG   
Codes: (TNG) R, T, C, Q (DS9) B, K, Ez   
Section 31   
  
Notes: Other characters from both DS9 and TNG appear in the story  
for a shorter length of time.   
  
Disclaimer- Paramount owns all but Victorianna Leonard, Cmdr.  
Alexander, all the Admirals mentioned, Sid, Adams, Junior and all other  
people places, ships, etc. not mentioned anywhere in the Star Trek  
universe before.   
  
Feedback: Please send all types of feedback   
(meghanelizabeth@crosswinds.net)   
  
Summary: When Vicki Ann returns to DS9, yet another secret is  
revealed about her past and her career is in jeopardy. She struggles  
to find something to believe in as her first love-medicine- is taken  
away. Also, Julian must struggle to save a friend who got involved  
with Section 31.   
  
Chapter 1   
Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum.   
Let him who wishes for peace prepare for war. (Vegetius. Also quoted  
si vis pacem, para bellum -- if you desire peace, prepare for war.)   
  
Commander David Alexander entered his quarters on the Goddard.   
  
"You have one message," the computer told him.   
  
"From who?" he asked, as he took off his uniform jacket.   
  
"Dr. Victorianna Troi."   
  
Vicki Ann? "Play message."   
  
"Message is text-only."   
  
Text-only? "Then display message." He threw his turtleneck on the  
bed as he went over to his desk and sat down.   
  
"Dear David,   
I'll bet you didn't expect to hear from me. Well, I wasn't sure who else to turn to. I'd feel  
uncomfortable talking to Ezri about it, Deanna would psychoanalyze me and Will would tell  
Deanna. Alright, I'll get to the point. I did it again. I ran. I got scared and ran for my life.  
Just like I did with you.   
  
You see, Captain Sisko offered me a position on Julian's staff. I accepted it temporarily.  
Everything was perfect. Julian and I were back together and I had a great job back in  
medicine again, doing what I loved. And I threw it all away because I'm a coward. A  
coward pretending to be brave by wearing a Starfleet uniform. I can battle viruses, fight  
the Dominion and fly circles around the best pilots, but I can't make a commitment to the  
man I love.   
  
Why is that? Never mind, I already know the answer. It's the low self-esteem Will reminded  
me of making me believe that I'm not worthy of receiving honest, unselfish, unconditional  
love from a wonderful man like Julian. My mind believes that the only men I'm capable of  
receiving love from are psychopath losers.   
  
It's that combined with my curse for bad relationships. I knew that Julian wasn't going to  
hurt me, but I still panicked. You should have seen me in Sisko's office when he asked me  
if I wanted to keep the job. My pulse raced, I couldn't breathe and my blood pressure  
went through the roof. If Julian would have seen me, he would have immediately known  
that something was up, after all, I don't get sick very often.   
  
It was almost funny. Sisko asked if I was alright and I told him I was ill. He suggested that  
I go to the infirmary. I told him that I would, but instead I sprinted for Julian's quarters and  
started packing.   
  
What am I going to do? Why do I keep doing this to myself? I'm sorry for throwing all of  
this on you. I don't expect you to answer or anything. I just needed someone to listen.  
Thank you. I'll see you the next time the Goddard cross paths with the Enterprise.   
  
Love, Vicki Ann"   
  
David sighed as he leaned back in his chair. She had poured her heart out to him, all over  
another man. Once again, another one of destiny's practical jokes.   
  
Vicki Ann walked into the restaurant on Starbase 17. You wouldn't know there was a war  
going on. She went over to the bar and order a drink. A little while later, she felt a hand  
on her shoulder. She turned around. "David, hello. Goddard in for repairs?"   
  
"Yes, Enterprise, too?"   
  
"Even the flagship needs repairs once and a while."   
  
"Getting dinner?"   
  
She shrugged. "Probably not. I'm not very hungry."   
  
"Come on, you need your strength if you're going to battle the Dominion."   
  
"No, I'm fine."   
  
He frowned. "Vicki Ann, I know you. You probably haven't eaten anything at all today. So,  
I'm going to order you to have dinner with me."   
  
"You can't order me around. You're not my superior officer."   
  
"No, but I can talk to Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard and have them order you."   
  
"If you're going to harass me about it. . ."   
  
"I've got to speak to the captain first. Give me an hour. Meet me at my quarters on the  
Goddard."   
  
"And where are they?"   
  
"You mean you don't remember? You spent enought time in them-."   
He stopped when she frowned at him. "Okay, they're at deck seven, room 3029."   
  
"Alright, you talked me into it."   
  
Vicki Ann walked to David's quarters. She rang the chime. A moment later, the doors  
opened. She walked in and glanced around. The room was dark except for some soft light  
emanating from the dining room.   
  
"David?"   
  
"In here," he called.   
  
She followed his voice into the lit room. "David," she said, putting her hands on her hips  
and frowning.   
  
"Yes," he asked. He was at the replicator and his back was to her, but she knew he was  
grinning.   
  
"I told you. I just want to be friends."   
  
"And that's what we are. Friends having a nice dinner together to try and forget their  
troubles," he replied, turning around and setting the food on the table.   
  
She didn't buy it. "Then what's with this?" she asked, pointing to the flowers and candles  
on the table.   
  
"Decorations."   
  
"Ha-ha."   
  
"Don't analyze it, Vicki Ann. I think your sister is rubbing off on you. You never used to be  
such an analytical person."   
  
"Well, I'm just trying to think with my head, not my heart."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"It always gets me into trouble when I think with my heart."   
  
"But it's a hell of a lot more fun. And besides, isn't it worth it?"   
  
"Is it?" she asked, sighing.   
  
A few months later, Vicki Ann returned to Deep Space Nine. The Enterprise and a few  
other ships were getting repairs done and resting at the station after the war ended. Until  
this moment, she'd kept herself busy in order to keep her mind off what she'd have to do  
once she got here. She knew sh'ed run into Ezri and Kira, not to mention Julian. She hadn't  
spoken to any of them since she'd left so many months ago. Gods, with the war, it seemed  
like years since she'd been on the station. She hadn't really wanted to leave, but she'd let  
her fears get the best of her and she'd ran, away from the station, away from her friends,  
away from Julian. She really didn't know why she'd left. She'd known that Julian wouldn't  
turn into a sociopath once she moved in with him permanantly. She supposed it was just  
her subconscious mind stopping her before things went too far, before she got in so deep ,  
she couldn't get out if something went wrong. She had regretted her decision, but hadn't  
contacted Julian because she was afrarid he would still be angry. Maybe if she had  
explained. . . No, she had moved on. The problem was, she still had to tell Julian. She  
couldn't hide forever.   
  
Commander Alexander watched Vicki Ann as they walked on the Promenade. He could tell  
that the war had taken its toll on Vicki Ann.   
  
She was quiet and her usually smiling face was neutral. Her smiles appeared forced and her  
eyes no longer twinkled. He could tell she needed to forget what they had been through.  
"Want to go get a drink at Quark's?" he asked her.   
  
She smiled slightly. "Sure."   
  
Julian and Ezri sat in Quark's. They were talking about how much things had changed in  
the past few days, since the end of the war.   
  
They did not mention the war directly, neither of them ready to deal with all they'd been  
through. Julian looked up and noticed a familiar face approaching. She was not looking at  
them. Her attention was focused on her companion. She was smiling, but it was obvious  
that it was forced. The twinkle was gone from her eye. She was a shadow of the person  
she used to be. He remembered when her smile made her eyes light up like a million stars.  
He remembered when all he wanted to see were those blue eyes. It hadn't been that long,  
only a few months, but with the war, it seemed like years. He remembered how she used  
to be his friend. He loved Ezri, but longed for his old friend back.   
  
Ezri noticed Julian's lack of attention. "Julian?" She looked the direction he was looking and  
saw Vicki Ann. "Oh," she said. "Vicki Ann."   
  
Julian turned to Ezri. "You haven't told her about us yet, have you?"   
  
Ezri shook her head. "I haven't spoken to her either."   
  
Julian stood. "I'm going to talk to her." He made his way through the crowd and over to  
the bar where she was. He had no idea what he wanted to say, but he hoped she'd listen.  
  
Vicki Ann looked up and saw Julian standing in front of her. "Julian."   
  
"Vicki Ann."   
  
They stared at each other for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. The tension hung in  
the air, thick and almost tangible. Neither of them knew if the old feelings were still  
present in the other. They weren't sure of how to tell the other that they had moved on  
without them.   
  
Finally, Vicki Ann broke the silence and tension by embracing Julian and saying, "Thank  
God, you're all right. I've already lost too many people to the Dominion."   
  
Julian smiled at her as she pulled away.   
  
Vicki Ann looked away nervously for a moment. Then, she turned back to Bashir and said,  
"Julian, I want to apologize for the way I left. I never meant to hurt you."   
  
Julian nodded. "I understand." He held out his hand. "No hard feelings."   
  
Vicki Ann shook his hand. "Agreed."   
  
"I'm glad you're okay, too." Julian paused for a moment. "Vicki Ann, there's something I  
need to tell you. Ezri and I are -."   
  
Vicki Ann interrupted him. "Together."   
  
Julian was shocked. "How did you? Wait a minute. You had your barriers down, didn't you?"  
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "I just sensed your emotions and who they were directed at.  
Simple empathy," she replied, smiling.   
  
"Come join us," Julian said, pointing to the table Ezri was sitting at.   
  
As they walked over to the table, Vicki Ann said to Julian, "I'll bet you thought that I was  
pining away for you all this time."   
  
Julian acted coy. "Of course not."   
  
Vicki Ann laughed. "Well, Julian, I wasn't. I found other things to occupy my time," she said  
smiling as she linked her fingers through Alexander's.   
  
Julian returned the smile. "Looks like things worked out for the both of us."   
  
Julian, Ezri, and Vicki Ann spent the next few hours catching up. Julian noticed that  
Alexander kept his arm around Vicki Ann the entire evening. Julian smiled. Alexander  
probably saw him as a threat, just like Julian had seen Riker as a threat. Vicki Ann was  
happy with Alexander, but something was wrong. She didn't seem right. Maybe it was just  
the aftereffect of the war.   
  
Alexander leaned toward Vicki Ann and whispered something in her ear. She turned to him,  
her expression sad. They spoke quietly to each other for a few moments. Then Alexander  
stood and Vicki Ann followed suite. She embraced him and they kissed. Julian thought he  
heard her whisper, "I'll miss you." Alexander lifted her chin with his hand so that she was  
looking him in the eyes and he tried to reassure her. A few moments later, Alexander  
turned to Julian and Ezri. "The Goddard is leaving in a few hours. I have to inspect all the  
systems before we leave. It was nice meeting the two of you."   
  
Julian and Ezri returned the sentiments and Alexander left. As Vicki Ann sat down, a  
familiar face came over to their table.   
  
"Hello, Julian and Ezri," Beverly Crusher said as she took Alexander's seat. She turned to  
Vicki Ann. "You haven't made up your mind yet, have you?"   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "No, I haven't."   
  
Beverly smiled. "I'm going to keep bugging you until you say yes."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "I know."   
  
Beverly smiled. "I have to go. I've reserved a Holosuite and I don't want to be late. See  
you later," she said, waving goodbye.   
  
"What was that all about?" Julian asked.   
  
"She offered me the position of her assistant," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
"That's wonderful!" Julian exclaimed.   
  
When Ezri saw the lack of enthusiasm on Vicki Ann's face, she added, "Isn't it?"   
  
Vicki Ann sighed. "I suppose."   
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Julian asked.   
  
"I don't know," Vicki Ann replied. "Things have changed so much since the war began. Not  
just the world around me, but things that I've always believed to be important are being  
tossed aside like they never mattered."   
  
"Like what?" Ezri asked.   
  
"This uniform, for example," she said, pointing to her uniform.   
"This uniform is supposed to represent what the Federation and Starfleet stand for. That  
being truth, justice, integrity, diplomacy, humanitarianism, and non-judgementalism. The  
war made us forget all of that. It stopped being about standing up for out beliefs and  
starting being about survival. I didn't join Starfleet to fight in wars. I joined Starfleet to  
help people and to see things that had never been seen before. But what have I been  
doing? Fighting in a stupid war that could have been stopped a long time ago if Starfleet  
had given the Founders the cure. If the beliefs behind this uniform don't matter anymore, I  
don't know if I want to wear it."   
  
Julian thought he was hallucinating for a minute. Listening to Vicki Ann's enthusiasm   
about Starfleet had always been able to make anyone join. "You can't mean that."   
  
"I don't know anything anymore, Julian, but I have been thinking about this for a long  
time," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
"How long?" Ezri asked.   
  
"Since the attack on Starfleet Headquarters," Vicki Ann said.   
  
"That shook us all," Julian replied.   
  
"I try to put it behind me, but all I can think of is all the people who died so that we could  
be here talking to each other." Vicki Ann's comm badge beeped. "Dr. Troi here."   
  
"Admiral Kelley would like to speak to you, Doctor. Please report to Colonel Kira's office,"  
was the reply.   
  
Vicki Ann replied, "I'm on my way." She turned to her friends.   
"I'll see you later."   
  
As she stood, Julian also stood. He stopped his friend's departure by putting his hand on  
her arm. "If you need to talk, or an opponent for racquetball or just someone to be there  
so you won't be alone," Julian said, smiling. "Let me know."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "I will."   
  
When Vicki Ann walked into Kira's office, she couldn't help but think of it as Sisko's office.  
But, things change. Lately, though, it seems that everything is changing. Nothing is  
staying the same. She smiled at the Admiral, who was speaking to Kira. "Admiral, I wasn't  
aware you were on the station."   
  
"I was on my way to Earth when Starfleet Command alerted me to a disturbing situation,"  
the Admiral replied.   
  
"What kind of situation?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
The Admiral placed a PADD on the end of the desk. "As a doctor, what do you see on this  
PADD?"   
  
Vicki Ann went over and picked up the PADD. "Both images are DNA patterns. The second  
is similar to the first, except it's been resequenced. This looks like the before and after  
patterns of someone who's been genetically enhanced."   
  
"Correct, Doctor. Do you know whose pattern those are?" When Vicki Ann shook her head,  
the Admiral replied, "The second image was from the DNA scan that was done during your  
physical upon your admittance into the Academy. The first image was just found recently.  
It was from a small hospital on Betazed where your adopted parents took you after they  
found you. It was found along with your pre-adoption hospital records, which were sent to  
Starfleet. Someone at Starfleet Headquarters noticed the discrepancy and alerted us.  
You, Doctor, are genetically engineered. Unfortunately, because of this, you cannot  
remain in Starfleet and your medical license is hereby revoked."   
  
Vicki Ann replied, "But, it obviously wasn't my fault and I didn't even know about it until  
now."   
  
"I understand, but we can't break the rule just because there's no one to take  
responsibility for it. Therefore, you must take responsibility for it." He held out his hand.  
"I'm sorry to do this, but I must ask you for your Pips and comm badge."   
  
Vicki Ann handed them over.   
  
"As for your uniform, Colonel Kira will take it after you have changed."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded.   
  
Kira walked over to Vicki Ann and said, "I'm sorry. You can stay here as long as you like."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "Is that all, sir?"   
  
The Admiral nodded.   
  
Vicki Ann wondered back to the Promenade. She didn't remember going in any specific  
direction, just walking and having no idea where she wanted to go.   
  
Julian saw Vicki Ann approaching and noticed the vacant look on her face. He got up and  
walked over to her, with Ezri right behind him.   
  
"What happened?" He noticed the missing pieces to her uniform. "What happened to your  
badge? And the Pips on your collar?"   
  
"I've been kicked out of Starfleet," she replied.   
  
"What?" Ezri and Julian echoed.   
  
"It appears that there is a discrepancy between the DNA scans from my birth and the ones  
from when I entered the Academy," she replied, bitterly.   
  
"What do you mean?" Julian asked.   
  
"Well, Julian, you and I have more in common then our profession. It seems that I was  
genetically engineered."   
  
Her voice dripped with bitterness. Julian knew how she felt. He remembered how it had felt  
when he had found out what had been done to him. He also remembered when he had  
almost lost his job when Dr. Zimmerman found out about his genetic resequencing. He had  
thought he'd be kicked out of Starfleet and he thought that his life was over. "But, it  
wasn't your fault."   
  
"No kidding. But, the Admiral says that since there's no one to take responsibility for it, I  
have to," she replied.   
  
Julian became angry. "This isn't fair! Let me go talk to the Admiral."   
  
Vicki Ann stopped Julian's departure. "No, Julian. I have to accept that this has happened  
and deal with it."   
  
"I think you need to take your mind off of it for a while. How about a game of racquetball?"  
Julian replied, trying to cheer her up.   
  
"No. I need to be alone for a while." Julian started to say something, but Vicki Ann stopped  
him. "Julian, please. Stop being a doctor for one minute and listen to your friend. I need to  
be alone. Okay? If you're worried about me locking myself in my quarters forever, I'm not  
going to do that. I'll be fine."   
  
Julian didn't look convinced, but he didn't want to make her angry. "Alright, but under one  
condition. You meet us here for breakfast tomorrow at 0800 hours."   
  
Vicki Ann smiled slightly. "Alright, see you tomorrow."   
  
Vicki Ann walked into her quarters. She sat down on the couch and put her head in her  
hands.   
  
"You've dedicated over half your life to Starfleet and this is how they repay you, by  
kicking you out. Not only have they forgotten the ideals they stand for, but they've  
forgotten who helped to uphold those ideals," a voice said.   
  
Vicki Ann looked up. A man in a black uniform was sitting in a chair across from her. "Who  
are you?"   
  
"A friend. There are people in the Federation that still believe in the ideals you believed in  
when you joined Starfleet. And we invite you to join us."   
  
"And who exactly are you and your friends?"   
  
"We're called Section 31. Your talents would be very useful with us, Victorianna."   
  
Vicki Ann couldn't believe that this was happening. She smiled.   
"What the hell? What have I got to lose? Certainly not my job."   
  
Vicki Ann's instincts told her that there was someone behind her. She went to turn around  
to view the intruder, when the hiss of a hypospray stopped her dead in her tracks.   



	2. 2

Chapter 2   
Ira furor brevis est.   
Anger is a brief insanity.   
(Horace, Epistulae)   
  
Julian and Ezri were waiting for Vicki Ann. She was a half an hour late for breakfast.  
"Maybe she slept in," Ezri suggested.   
  
Julian didn't buy it. "I'm worried about her. I'm going to her quarters," he said, standing.   
  
Ezri stood. "I'm going with you."   
  
They went to Vicki Ann's quarters and rang the bell. When she didn't answer, Julian rang it  
again. And again. And again. "Computer, location of Victorianna Troi," Julian said.   
  
The computer replied, "Victorianna Troi is not aboard the station."   
  
Julian and Ezri looked at each other. "Maybe she took a transport," Ezri suggested.   
  
"Without telling us? Maybe, let's check at Ops," Julian said.   
  
They checked with Ops. Vicki Ann hadn't transported out or left on a ship, under the name  
Victorianna Troi, anyway. She had just disappeared.   
  
Vicki Ann woke up in a very small room, seated in a chair, her hands behind her in  
restraints. "Wait a minute! I thought I was on your side!" she protested.   
  
The man who had been in her quarters came from behind her. "We didn't want you to see  
where you were brought, just in case your loyalties shifted."   
  
"You could have at least warned me!"   
  
"Using the element of surprise gave us the advantage," her companion replied.   
  
"If I'm on your side, why do you need an advantage?"   
  
"Your enhancements give you an advantage over us, therefore, we needed to even the  
score."   
  
"Are you going to let me go?"   
  
"Not, yet. There are a few things that need to be done first."   
  
"Like what?" Vicki Ann asked. Before anyone could answer her though, she heard another  
hiss of the hypospray.   
  
Vicki Ann could hear voices as she slowly began to regain consciousness. She was also  
faintly aware of some kind of surgery being performed on her. Her mind felt numb. She  
couldn't sense anything with her telepathy or empathy. She thought she heard a familiar  
voice, though.   
  
"It looks like she's waking up," a voice said.   
  
That sounds like Julian! I must be back on the station. How am I going to explain this?   
  
"Just make sure you get the implant in before she's fully conscious," a voice said, that  
sounded like the man that had been in her quarters.   
  
"It's in. If she wakes up now, it won't be a problem," Julian said.   
  
"Then wake her up," the other man replied.   
  
Someone pushed her. Vicki Ann opened her eyes. Julian was standing over her and right  
beside him was the man who had been in her quarters.   
  
Julian smiled at her and Vicki Ann could have sworn that she felt a chill go up her spine.  
Julian looked different. He was colder.   
  
"You're ready for business, Vicki Ann," he said to her.   
  
"Julian? Is that you?" she asked, still a little groggy.   
  
"Of course, it's me."   
  
"You're in Section 31?"   
  
"Yes. I joined while I was on Romulus. As a matter of fact, it was my idea to recruit you.  
After your little speech about your uniform and how Starfleet has forgotten what it stands  
for, I alerted them that you were ready. Enough talking, Vicki Ann, it's time for you to  
begin,"   
Julian replied.   
  
Someone came in the room, carrying a PADD. "Starfleet knows where we are. They've  
dispatched some ships to come and take back the station."   
  
"How?" Julian asked.   
  
The man pointed to Vicki Ann. "She's wearing a transmitter."   
  
"What?" Vicki Ann exclaimed.   
  
"It's programmed to cloak itself. That's why you didn't detect it in your scans," the man  
replied.   
  
Julian looked at Vicki Ann. "I trusted you, Vicki Ann. And you betrayed me. You're going to  
pay for that."   
  
"I'm not wearing a transmitter! I swear, Julian, I'm not!"   
Vicki Ann exclaimed.   
  
"I'm sorry, Vicki Ann, but it has to be done." Julian turned to the man who had been in her  
quarters. "Sid, hand me that hypospray."   
Julian took the hypospray and pressed it to Vicki Ann's neck.   
  
And once again, Vicki Ann lost consciousness.   
  
"Wake up, Vicki Ann," Julian whispered in her ear.   
  
Vicki Ann opened her eyes. She was in a dark room, once again bound to a chair. This time  
though, Julian was the only one in the room. Beside him was a table with medical  
instruments, some she recognized, some she didn't.   
  
"I'm glad to see that you're awake."   
  
Vicki Ann looked at him. He had an almost evil look on his face. "What happened to you,  
Julian? What made you like this?"   
  
"The same as you, the war. Like you said, war makes you forget what you believe in." He  
walked over to the table and picked up an innocent looking instrument. He studied it  
carefully. "Do you know what this is, Vicki Ann?"   
  
She shook her head.   
  
"It's a Breen neural degenerater. It breaks down the neural pathways. I hear it's very  
painful and it's never been used on a non-Breen before. You'd be the first."   
  
Vicki Ann gasped. "Julian, please. I promise you, I don't know anything about a  
transmitter."   
  
"I'm sorry, Vicki Ann, but I can't believe you anymore." He brought the instrument to her  
temples.   
  
Vicki Ann began to move away.   
  
"Hold still!" Julian screamed at her.   
  
Vicki Ann, frozen in shock, obeyed. A moment later, she began screaming. By the time  
Julian finished testing the Breen instrument, her screams could only be as loud as a  
whisper.   
  
"Now, are you going to tell me who ordered you to join Section 31?" Julian asked Vicki Ann.  
  
"No one," she whispered in reply.   
  
"You have to make things difficult on yourself, don't you?" He walked over to her.  
"Unfortunately, all of these other interrogating instruments are useless on you since you're  
genetically engineered. Guess we'll have to do it the old-fashioned way," Julian said, as he  
raised his hand and smacked it across Vicki Ann's face.   
  
Vicki Ann felt the blood trickle down her cheek . She had a feeling of deja-vu. I never  
thought I'd feel this way about Julian. She let her head stay to the side so that she didn't  
have to face him.   
  
"Now, are you going to answer me?"   
  
Vicki Ann turned to him. "I already told you. No one sent me,"   
she whispered.   
  
"Talk a little louder."   
  
"I can't."   
  
Julian went over to the table and picked up an instrument. He walked over to Vicki Ann  
and he lifted her head up with his hand. When Vicki Ann tried to squirm away from him, he  
said, "Hold still!" He ran the instrument across her throat. "There. How's that? Can you talk  
now?"   
  
Vicki Ann tried out her voice. "Thank you. I think."   
  
"Answer my question."   
  
"No one ordered me to. I was kicked out of Starfleet, remember?"   
  
"Rumor has it that all of that was an act."   
  
"It wasn't. I am no longer in Starfleet and I am now in Section 31. I think I am, anyway."   
  
"Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. But I'm not sure I can believe you. I think you need a  
little more incentive. But first, I'm going to take these restraints off. It's not like you can  
go anywhere, anyway. The door will only open for my genetic code, just so you know."   
He took the restraints off. "Go ahead. Feel free to walk around."   
  
Vicki Ann got up.   
  
"Now, in return, will you answer the question?"   
  
"No," Vicki Ann replied. "I already told you, Julian. No one ordered me to join."   
  
"I really don't want to do this, but I don't have a choice." He hit her again and this time  
she flew into the wall and was knocked unconscious.   



	3. 3

Chapter 3   
De duobus malis minus est semper eligendum.   
One must always choose the lesser of two evils. (Thomas a Kempis)   
  
"Wake up."   
  
Vicki Ann moved her head slightly. She was so weak, that was all she could do.   
  
"Wake up."   
  
She recognized the voice. Julian. "I would, but I'm a little weak right now. Your  
interrogation was a little too much for me," she whispered weakly.   
  
He nudged her. "Come on, we have to talk."   
  
Vicki Ann sat up and looked at him. "Do you really think I'm going to talk to you? After you  
used me for a guinea pig? Sorry, Julian. I've had enough of abusive relationships."   
  
He sighed. "Look, I didn't exactly have a choice in the matter.   
They needed to determine whether you could handle what could be thrown at you. And  
you did very well, as a matter of fact. It wasn't personal, Vicki Ann."   
  
"But you said-."   
  
"Everything I said and did was a part of the act, even the Breen instrument. We wanted  
you to belief that I'd turned against you. And you did."   
  
"You're a fantastic actor, Julian. Did you ever consider changing your profession?"   
  
"Look, Vicki Ann, I'm sorry. It would be wise to forgive me, Vicki Ann. I'm your only friend  
here."   
  
Vicki Ann tried to ignore the pounding in her head. "You do have a point there." She looked  
at him. He seemed sincere. But, no one knew as well as Vicki Ann did how people can be  
wonderful one minute and evil the next. But, she didn't have a choice. She needed an ally  
in Section 31, someone she could trust. And unfortunately, Julian was it. "Alright. You're  
forgiven, but if you do that again, I'm going to have to hit you back."   
  
Julian laughed. "It's a deal."   
  
Vicki Ann sat up a little more so that her back was supported by the wall. "Where do  
Colonel Kira and Ezri think you are?"   
  
"Kira thinks I'm on a mercenary mission to Cardassia and Ezri doesn't care."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"You must sever all connections when you join Section 31. I had to break up with her after  
you left us in Quarks."   
  
"How come I didn't have to break up with David?"   
  
"Well, you are considered missing. Everyone on the station thinks you went running off  
because you getting kicked out of Starfleet. Technically, you did sever all connections.  
With me, it's a different story, since I have to still be in Starfleet."   
  
"Wow. You two seemed like you were really in love."   
  
Julian's expression grew sad. "Not really. There was always something in the way."   
  
"Like what? Fear of commitment? Memories of Jadzia? What?"   
  
Julian looked her in the eyes. "You."   
  
Vicki Ann was stunned. "What?"   
  
"You were in the way. I still love you, Vicki Ann."   
  
Vicki Ann couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I had no idea. I don't know what to say."  
  
"Say we can try again. Think about it. We're both in Section 31, so there are no  
connections to sever. It's a match made in heaven."   
  
"I don't know, Julian."   
  
The door opened and Sid and the man who had accused her of being a spy entered. Sid  
smiled at Vicki Ann. "Victorianna, I'm glad to see that you've survived our little test." He  
introduced his companion. "This is Adams. He is the equivalent of security for our section  
of Section 31. My name is Sid and I am the one in charge here." Sid turned to Bashir.  
"Doctor, you are needed in the lab."   
  
Julian smiled at Vicki Ann, stood and left.   
  
Adams came over to Vicki Ann and squatted down beside her. "We are aware of Dr.  
Bashir's feelings for you. It would be to your advantage to accept any proposals he makes  
about relationships. We have an assignment for you. The doctor has been selling  
information to the Federation about us. We need you to teach him a lesson. Don't worry,  
he'll be fine. He'll just regret crossing Section 31."   
  
"I don't really have a choice, do I?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
"No, not really." Sid replied.   
  
"Just checking."   
  
"I can't urge you enough to accept this assignment. We wouldn't want anything to happen  
to you or your family because of your loyalty to the doctor."   
  
"I understand." I'd have to be stupid not to understand.   
"Now, is there anyway I can fix my injuries or get them fixed or something?"   
  
"Your internal injuries will be fixed by Dr. Bashir. As for your bruises, unfortunately, those  
must be reminders not to cross Section 31."   
  
Oh, how nice Vicki Ann thought to herself.   
  
The doors opened and Julian entered. "The situation is resolved," he told Sid.   
  
"What situation?" Vicki Ann asked as she stood.   
  
"Nothing to be concerned about, Vicki Ann," Julian replied.   
  
"Doctor, would you care to show Vicki Ann to her new home?" Sid said to Bashir.   
  
"I thought we were out of room," Bashir replied, confused.   
  
"I'm sure we can find somewhere for her to stay," Sid replied. He turned to Vicki Ann.  
"Perhaps since you are so close with the doctor, you can stay with him."   
  
Real smooth. Vicki Ann thought to herself. And subtle.   
She put on her best fake smile. "That would be fine." Vicki Ann could tell that Julian was  
anything but upset about the arrangement.   
  
"Follow me, Vicki Ann," Julian replied.   
  
Vicki Ann obeyed and followed Julian down the hall. They arrived at a set of doors marked  
with the numbers 4023. The doors opened for Julian. They were very similar to her  
quarters on the station, except for the decor. "Here we are. Sid has suggested that you  
rest. You'll need your strength. I have a feeling you'll be getting a tough assignment soon."  
  
You don't know how soon. Vicki Ann thought to herself. "Probably. Sid said that you  
would fix my internal injuries."   
  
Julian nodded. "Just a second." He went over to the bed and grabbed the med kit from  
under it. "Sit down."   
  
Vicki Ann sat down on the edge of the bed. Julian sat beside her and took out his  
tricorder. "I can't do anything about the bruises, but I can fix the neural pathway damage  
and the internal fractures."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "I know. Sid told me about my bruises serving as reminders."   
  
Julian smiled. "So you do have a mission coming up. Did they tell you what it is?"   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "Not yet."   
  
"Well, good luck," Julian replied. He folded his tricorder and sighed. "Vicki Ann, have you  
thought about what I said earlier? About us?"   
  
Vicki Ann sighed. Here we go. "It sounds like a good idea, Julian," she said, smiling.   
  
Julian became excited. "That's wonderful!" He calmed himself down. "I'm sorry, but I have  
to go. Sid has asked me to work on a special project in the lab." He kissed her. "See you  
later. Until Sid replicates some clothes for you, you can borrow some of mine. Now get  
some rest."   
  
"Yes, sir," Vicki Ann said, saluting Julian. As soon as the doors shut behind him, Vicki Ann  
shook her head. "Yet another mess you have gotten yourself into, Vicki Ann." She stood  
and walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of blue pajamas. She changed into  
them and then went over to the replicator and got some chamomile tea. She sat on the  
bed and sipped her tea, wishing for her old life back.   



	4. 4

Chapter 4   
Dubitando ad veritatem venimus.   
We arrive at the truth being skeptical.   
(Pierre Ab‚lard, Sic et non?)   
  
Dr. Julian Bashir finished his log and took a sip of Tarkalean Tea. He sighed to himself. He  
didn't feel any better. He was still worried about Vicki Ann. This wasn't like her. Maybe she  
was upset, but it wasn't like her to deliberately do something that would make him angry.  
Or anyone for that matter. Vicki Ann was always thinking about other people. She would  
never have left without telling him. Even if all she did was leave a note for him to find the  
next day. He and Ezri had told Kira about Vicki Ann being missing, but there were no clues  
as to where she had gone. Kira had said that she had probably just gone on a little trip to  
get her mind off of things. There was nothing that could be done. Something just isn't  
right about this, Julian thought to himself. I think I'm going to conduct my own  
investigation. He stood, told his nurse that he was leaving, and went to Vicki Ann's  
quarters.   
  
When he got there, he told the computer to override the privacy lock. He went inside and  
looked around. Everything was as she had left it. On her night table was a picture of  
Commander Alexander. Her suitcase was lying on the bed, her clothes still in it. That's  
odd. If she went somewhere, why didn't she take her suitcase? Julian, on a hunch, took  
out his tricorder. He scanned for genetic material. There were traces of four other DNA  
patterns other than Vicki Ann's. He saved the information in the tricorder. "Who has been  
in Dr. Troi's quarter's since her arrival?" Julian asked the computer.   
  
The computer replied, "Dr. Victorianna Troi, Commander David Alexander and Dr. Julian  
Bashir have been in Dr. Troi's quarters since Dr. Troi's arrival."   
  
"That takes care of two of the extra DNA patterns, but what about the other two? They  
must used something to block their detection.   
  
Something is definitely wrong," Julian said to the empty room.   
  
"So what you're saying is that two people abducted Vicki Ann yesterday, but somehow the  
computer didn't detect their arrival or departure?" Kira asked Julian.   
  
"Yes. Two other DNA patterns showed up on my scans, but the computer denied the fact  
that anyone besides Vicki Ann, Commander Alexander or myself had been there," Julian  
replied.   
  
"I suggest you cross reference those patterns with the computer to see if there's a  
match," Kira said.   
  
"Good idea," Julian said, standing.   
  
"I'm coming with you."   
  
They went to the infirmary. They checked the patterns first with Julian's medical files. No  
luck. Then, Julian contacted Starfleet Headquarters to see if they had a match. They did.   
  
"The first pattern, Doctor, is that of the former Commander Sid Patrick. Five years ago,  
while he was serving on the Philadelphia, he was killed in a transporter accident," Admiral  
Stewart told Bashir.   
  
"Sounds like it wasn't an accident," Kira muttered.   
  
"The second pattern, is that of Lieutenant Adams Smith. He disappeared two months ago  
while on shore leave."   
  
"Is there any indication of criminal activity in either file?"   
Bashir asked.   
  
Stewart checked. "Before Patrick disappeared, he was suspected to be an agent for  
Section 31."   
  
"That explains it. I'll bet Section 31 got wind of both Vicki Ann's enhancements and her  
being kicked out of Starfleet and saw the opportunity for a new operative," Bashir replied.   
  
"That's definitely a possibility, Doctor. We must also consider the possibility that she went  
willingly and gave up her life here."   
  
Julian shook his head. "Believe what you want, Admiral. But, I can't believe that Vicki Ann,  
no matter how angry she is, would betray the Federation and join Section 31."   
  
Vicki Ann heard the doors to her room open. She heard Julian's footsteps as he went over  
to the dresser and got out clean clothes and then again as he walked over to the bed.  
She felt him lie next to her in the bed. She pretended to be asleep. He looked over at her  
to see if she was awake. When he saw that she wasn't, he rolled over and went to sleep.  
Vicki Ann sighed and cried herself to sleep.   
  
The next morning, Vicki Ann woke up a few hours before she was due at the lab with  
Julian. She looked over and saw that Julian was awake. She smiled at him and then  
pretended to go back to sleep.   
  
Julian returned the smile. "You look better in my pajamas than I do." When Vicki Ann didn't  
reply, Julian added, "Come on, Vicki Ann, I know you're not asleep."   
  
"Yes, I am," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
"No, you're not," Julian said, leaning over to kiss her.   
  
Vicki Ann didn't have a choice but to kiss him back. She was supposed to be 'accepting'  
Julian's advances. She tried to convince herself that her heart wasn't in it because this  
'Julian' was different than the one she had been in love with months ago. Unfortunately,  
memories of her time with Julian flooded her senses and she found herself kissing him with  
the same passion as before.   
  
"I've changed my mind. Although your stamina has increased since last night, I still think  
you need some more rest," Julian said to Vicki Ann as he put on his boots.   
  
Vicki Ann still hated that word. She wanted to do something, not sit in these quarters all   
day 'resting.' She went over to Julian, sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his  
neck. "Didn't I prove this morning that I have my strength back?" she asked sweetly.   
  
Julian tried to be strict, but had a difficult time. "Yes, you proved that you have most of it  
back. But with the extent of the neural damage, I'd like you to rest a little more."   
  
Vicki Ann tried a different tactic. "But it's going to be so boring being all by myself in these  
quarters all day, not to mention lonely," she pouted.   
  
Julian stood, knocking Vicki Ann onto the bed. "No, Vicki Ann."   
When she opened her mouth, he leaned down and placed his finger over her lips. "No  
arguments. I have to go. I'll see you this evening for dinner, around 1900 hours." He kissed  
her goodbye.   
  
"Bye," she said, frowning.   
  
"Goodbye," Julian replied.   
  
Vicki Ann sat down at Julian's desk and turned on the viewer. "Computer, begin personal  
log for Victorianna Troi. Save and encrypt every five minutes."   
  
The computer replied, "Specify password."   
  
Vicki Ann thought for a moment. "Benedict Arnold."   
  
"Password saved. You may begin when ready."   
  
Vicki Ann took a deep breath. "Where to start? The beginning, I guess. I'm writing this in  
the hopes that if I die while in Section 31 or get put in prison for it, my side can be told. It  
all started when the Enterprise joined the war. I started to see the results of the  
Dominion's wrath. The war stopped being so distant and became a part of my life. The  
casualties began to pile up. Names that I knew began to appear on the reports. Friends  
and colleagues began to disappear. Everyday, there were more people in sickbay.  
Everyday, the injuries grew worse. I could barely concentrate on my work. My days were  
fill with worry and my nights were plagued by nightmares. I wanted to call Julian and Ezri  
to see that they were all right, but I couldn't face them. I knew that they would see right  
through my facade. I had completely shut out everyone. When asked how I felt, I told  
everyone that I was fine. David was my only salvation.   
  
I met up with him on Starbase 17 when we stopped for repairs. He broke through my wall.  
He decided not to leave me alone and let me grieve. Instead, he fought with me over my  
seclusion. He refused to take no for an answer. He made me admit that I was scared, not  
only for myself, but for the people I love. David and I had dinner and he confessed that he  
still loved me. We'd been together on the Goddard. Things just didn't work out then. I  
didn't want to settle down. I didn't want to stay in one place. David thought that it had  
something to do with him. Maybe it did, but I didn't want to admit it. We fought and ended  
our relationship. Just before I left, he apologized and we agreed to stay friends, though we  
barely spoke until we met on DS9. Anyway, David and I had dinner, a candle-light dinner  
to be exact, and before the evening was over, we ended up making love. At first, I  
thought I was trying to get over Julian, but I realized that I still loved David.   
  
Enough of my psychiatric profile and back to the war. David helped me feel better, until  
the attack on Starfleet Headquarters. As Julian said, "That shook everyone." Especially  
me. If Earth could be hit, anything could. The station, the Goddard, even the Enterprise.  
After that, I emotionally shut down. I became numb. Seeing Julian and Ezri when we went  
to the station and knowing that they were okay brought some of my feelings back. But I  
still wasn't alright. I didn't know if I wanted to be in Starfleet anymore. I blamed Starfleet  
for the war and all the people that had been killed, for all the children that had been made  
orphans, for all the people like me who had lost their love, their reason for living, or had  
lost brothers, sons, sisters, or daughters.   
  
When the Admiral told me about my genetic engineering, I really wasn't that shocked.  
Most of my shock was because I knew what I had to lose. When the admiral told me that I  
couldn't stay in Starfleet or practice medicine anymore, I shut down even more.  
Everything I had known had been ripped away, by the Dominion and by Starfleet.  
Everything I believed in had been made into nothing. Starfleet had become a sham, going  
through the motions, but not really believing in anything anymore. I'm just trying to help  
Starfleet to remember what they stand for. I'm not trying to get revenge, I'm just trying  
to refresh their memory."   
  
Vicki Ann leaned back in her chair and let out a long, slow breath. "End log."   
  
The computer replied, "Saving and Encrypting."   
  
The emotional release had been too much for her; she broke down into tears.   
  
"A man matching Patrick's description was seen on a transport headed for Earth. His  
companions were described as a blue-eyed brunette woman and . . ." Kira said, her voice  
trailing off toward the end.   
  
"What?" Bashir asked. "What's wrong?"   
  
Kira looked up at him, her expression filled with confusion. "The third person matches your  
description, right to the number of pips on your uniform."   
  
"What?" Bashir exclaimed. "I've been here the entire time! You can't believe that report!"   
  
Kira smiled. "I don't, doctor." She looked down at the PADD again. "It says here that the  
woman was ill. She was unconscious most of the trip and the man matching your  
description took care of her. Now, I doubt that it was a changeling. But, it could have  
been a shape-shifter of a different kind."   
  
"Or a clone," Bashir replied. His eyes lit up as if he had just had a sudden insight. "Wait!  
That explains the readings in her quarters. I hadn't been in Vicki Ann's quarters until that  
day, but my DNA showed up on the scan. At first I assumed that it was because I was in  
there while I was running the scan. But if it was a clone, the DNA would be in there from  
before."   
  
"Better have Ops run a scan to find out exactly when 'you' were in her quarters," Kira  
replied.   
  
Sid checked the monitors in his secret room. The only people that knew about this room  
were him, Adams and the higher-ups of Section 31. He smiled to himself when he saw the  
results of his work. Victorianna Troi was sleeping and the levels of tricolate and dethacol in  
her system were constant. The implant was receiving his suggestions and putting them in  
her subconscious. She would only do what he wanted her to do.   
  
When they had used the drugs on Bashir on Romulus, they discovered his friendship with  
Troi. Sid decided that they could use this to their advantage. They used their clone of  
Bashir to abduct her and perform the implant surgery. They figured that if Troi thought  
that Bashir was in Section 31, it might make her more cooperative. After the surgery, the  
Bashir clone was sent away on another mission. Then, they used the implant to guide her  
hallucinations. She believed that Bashir was with her and that her test was to survive the  
his interrogation.   
  
The point of her hallucination was to prepare her for life in Section 31; to desensitize her.  
He monitored her hallucinations and adjusted the implant's suggestions accordingly. He  
decided that she needed to kill her lover, Dr. Julian Bashir. In her hallucination, she had  
rekindled her relationship with Bashir, on his suggestion. Sid knew that was the only way  
she could get close enough, so he programmed the implant to make the Bashir image in her  
hallucination fall in love with her again. Troi had no real feelings of love for Bashir, except  
for that of a friend. But that was enough. The death of her best friend would most  
definitely affect her. And if he fed her the right information, he could use it to turn her into  
the perfect operative. Yes, everything was working out perfectly. Section 31 was going to  
get their genetically engineered doctor after all.   



	5. 5

Chapter 5   
Primum est non nocere.   
First of all, do no harm.   
(Hippocrates; The maxim has become an ethical guiding principle in medicine.)   
  
"I can't believe they cloned me and used me to kidnap Vicki Ann!" Bashir exclaimed.   
  
Ezri put his hand on Bashir's shoulder. "Vicki Ann is tough, Julian and she can take care of  
herself. She always finds a way to survive. I'm sure she's fine."   
  
Julian shook his head. "She's not as tough as she would like everyone to believe. One of  
the side effects of genetic engineering is psychological problems. Ezri, you know that. And  
besides, I really don't think that she'll be able to handle murder very well."   
  
Ezri nodded. "Let's just hope that she didn't join Section 31 and that she'll find a way out  
if she did. Now, are those sensor logs ready, yet?"   
  
"According to the sensors, I or someone with an almost identical DNA pattern was in Vicki  
Ann's quarters the night she disappeared,"   
Bashir replied.   
  
"What do you mean 'almost identical DNA pattern' as you?" Kira asked.   
  
"When a person is cloned, the second pattern is slightly degraded or different. The brain  
activity from the sensor sweep is also strange," Julian said, shaking his head.   
  
Kira frowned. "In what way?"   
  
"It looks as if he's been exposed to tricolate and dethacol."   
  
"What's that?" Ezri asked.   
  
"They're suggestion drugs." When the two women looked at him with blank expressions, he  
continued, "Suggestion drugs are drugs that make a person more responsive to what they  
hear, even to the point of guided hallucinations. Suggestion drugs have been used more  
recently with computer implants. The person is implanted with a device that receives  
suggestions from an outside source and puts them into the subconscious in such a way  
that they cannot be ignored. It's used for both brain-washing and mind control."   
  
Ezri gasped. "Oh, my God. You don't think they're doing this to Vicki Ann, do you?"   
  
Julian's expression was grim. "I wouldn't be surprised."   
  
"I don't understand why they would want Vicki Ann, she isn't in Starfleet anymore," Ezri  
replied.   
  
"That's what makes her the perfect operative. She's genetically engineered and a talented  
doctor who got kicked out of Starfleet and stripped of her medical practice. She's got  
every reason to want revenge. And they're going to help her get it."   
  
Everyday, Vicki Ann asked Julian if she was 'rested' enough to work with him in the lab.  
Everyday he insisted that she needed to rest.   
  
Before long, two weeks had gone by. One day, Sid visited Vicki Ann while she was resting.   
  
"Here are your orders, doctor."   
  
"I'm not a doctor," Vicki Ann replied, bitterly.   
  
"Well, you will be soon. You will be filling in for Dr. Bashir while he is out of commission."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"It is time for you to pay your end of the bargain. Tonight, while he is asleep, you will give  
him this," Sid replied, tossing her a hypospray.   
  
"What is it?"   
  
"10cc's of methacoline. It will be painful, as you know, but he'll be fine. He'll need some  
time to recover and you'll fill in for him while he's resting."   
  
"I assume I don't have a choice."   
  
"No, you don't. A word of warning, doctor. Don't cross us, otherwise you might find  
yourself in Dr. Bashir's position, only worse off."   
  
Vicki Ann lit the candles on the coffee table and put out two wine glasses. She figured the  
best way to get Julian asleep was to get him drunk. And if a romantic evening was the  
only way to get him drunk, she had to take it. Fortunately, there were no side effects of  
mixing methacoline with alcohol. Julian would be fine. He would be in a lot a pain for a  
while, that's all. Besides, she didn't have a choice.   
  
Vicki Ann heard the doors open in the other room. She quickly composed herself and  
waited for Julian.   
  
"What's this?" he asked, surprised.   
  
She smiled and sauntered over to him, wrapping her arms around him. "I thought you might  
need a break from work," she whispered.   
  
"That sounds like a wonderful idea," he replied, kissing her.   
  
"Let's go over to the couch," she said, pulling him along with her.   
  
"Wine, too. You must have been planning this for a while,"   
Julian replied.   
  
"Not that long. I managed to talk Sid in to giving me some of his stash of Chateau Picard,"  
Vicki Ann replied as they sat on the couch.   
  
"Well, then this is a special occasion," Julian said as he drew her to him.   
  
Vicki Ann pulled away. "Why don't we have some wine first?" she suggested, picking up the  
glasses.   
  
Julian took the bait. He took the glass from her. "How about a toast? To us. That things  
will work the second time around," he said, raising his glass.   
  
Vicki Ann felt a lump form in her throat. Gods, he really loves you. And what are you  
doing in return? Giving him a dose of methacoline. Nice, Vicki Ann, real nice. A voice in  
the back of her head interjected, It's for his own good, Vicki Ann. Besides, he won't die,  
he'll just be in pain for a while. It's for his own good. The last sentence echoed in her  
head. She smiled and clinked glasses with Julian. She watched him as he drank from the  
glass, hoping he would drink the whole thing. He didn't. "Come on, Julian. This is very  
expensive wine. You can't just have a little sip."   
  
"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to get me drunk."   
  
"Maybe I am," Vicki Ann teased.   
  
"Now why would you want to do that?"   
  
"Remember what happened the last time we got drunk?" she replied, smiling.   
  
Julian laughed. "Yes, I do." That had been how he and Vicki Ann had gotten together.  
They'd gotten drunk and admitted their feelings for each other and wound out in bed  
together. "Are you trying to reenact that night?"   
  
"Maybe."   
  
"Well, then, I might need a hangover treatment on hand."   
  
"Good idea."   
  
Julian programmed a hypospray and placed it beside the bed. He then rejoined her on the  
couch. "Now where were we?"   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "I was getting you drunk."   
  
Julian was asleep. Vicki Ann considered giving him the hangover cure instead and telling  
Sid that she had mixed the two up. He probably wouldn't believe me. Julian had told her  
that Sloan had threatened to hurt O'Brien's family when he and Julian had kidnaped Sloan.  
If she didn't follow orders, they might hurt Deanna, her brother, or her mother. She  
dressed and then touched the hypospray to Julian's neck. Then, she waited. He should be  
waking up anytime now from the pain. Something was wrong. She shook him gently.  
"Julian." He didn't move.   
  
She kissed him gently and whispered, "Julian, wake up." On instinct, she checked for a  
pulse. Nothing. He was dead. She grabbed his med kit and scanned him with a tricorder.  
There was no methacoline in his system. Instead, his system was flooded with tetraline, a  
lethal drug that shut down the heart and blocked the path of oxygen to the brain with no  
hope of repair.   
  
The tricorder fell to the floor. "Oh my God," Vicki Ann whispered, bringing her hand to her  
mouth in shock. She stroked Julian's face as the tears began to fall. "I'm sorry, Julian. I'm  
so sorry." She apologized until she was crying so hard she couldn't speak anymore.   
  
The only way to survive is not to feel anything, said a voice in Vicki Ann's head. She  
thought it was her instinct, but little did she know that it was a voice she had been  
programmed to hear.   



	6. 6

Chapter 6   
Qui tacet, consentit   
Silence gives consent.   
  
"Julian, you need some rest. Come on, we'll go to Quark's and get something to eat. Then,  
you can go to bed. When you get up in the morning, you'll be able to think better," Ezri  
pleaded.   
  
Julian considered the thought. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. He'd fallen  
asleep at his desk. He was surrounded by all the reports Starfleet had received on the  
incident. He just stared at them, trying to put all the clues together. Ezri had a point. He  
needed to eat and he needed to sleep, but he couldn't let his best friend down. "I've got a  
better idea. Why don't you get me something from Quarks and I'll eat it here. And I  
promise I'll catch a few winks on an empty biobed," Julian replied.   
  
Ezri sighed. "I guess that'll have to do." She kissed him goodbye. "Any requests?"   
  
Julian shook his head. "Just a raktajino." When Ezri gave him a dirty look, he added, "Okay,  
make it a Tarkalean tea."   
  
"Like that's any better," Ezri muttered as she left the infirmary.   
  
The chime for Vicki Ann's quarters rang. She had finished crying hours ago. There was  
nothing left inside her but anger. "Come in."   
  
Sid entered. "Where's Dr. Bashir?"   
  
Vicki Ann pointed into the bedroom. "Did you know about the tetraline?" she said, getting  
up from the desk.   
  
"What about it?"   
  
"Did you know it was in the hypospray instead of methacoline?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Why did you lie to me?" she screamed.   
  
"Because we thought you might be hesitant. And you needed to be taught that you can  
have no attachments when you are in Section 31. Not even inside. You can only trust  
yourself."   
  
"Thanks for warning me."   
  
"You couldn't be warned. You needed to learn it on your own. Now, you have a new  
assignment. You are going to take a trip to Rigalia IV to pick up some power couplings."   
  
"For what?"   
  
"We need to make some repairs here. I'm sorry it's not exciting, but you must work your  
way up to the ladder. You're leaving in the morning. You'll only be gone for a week. Pack  
light in case you need to run. You'll be meeting with Constable Hollan at the capital. The  
government offices are at the center of town."   
  
"The Constable is a member of Section 31?"   
  
"No, just a sympathizer. No more questions, doctor. You get to come up with your alias  
and your reasons for getting the couplings if anyone else asks. You'll need to learn these  
skills before you can get any better assignments. There will be a lot of Starfleet officers  
around who might recognize you, so before you leave, your appearance will be altered into  
that of a Bajoran. We will also give you a device that will emit Bajoran life signs. The rest  
of your instructions will be given to you by the Constable. Is everything understood?"   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "Yes."   



	7. 7

Chapter 7   
Coniecturalem artem esse medicinam.   
Medicine is the art of guessing.   
(Aulus Cornelius Celsus, De medicina)   
  
Julian Bashir looked over the new surveillance reports. There was a picture from Rigalia IV  
of a female Bajoran engineer who looked very familiar. She had strawberry-blonde hair  
pulled back into two braids and brilliant green eyes. There was something about her that  
reminded him of someone. He shrugged and took a sip of his tea. Despite the massive  
amount of caffeine he had consumed in the past few hours, his body was begging for  
sleep. He yawned and glanced over at a near biobed. It seemed to be calling to him.  
Might as well, I'm not getting anything done anyway. He went over the biobed and  
within minutes, was sound asleep.   
  
"Julian, hurry up!" Vicki Ann called. They were hiking on Mount Etherithius on Chelsa VII.  
He'd never seen a more beautiful landscape. He was glad that Vicki Ann had talked him  
into trying this program. The only problem was, he kept stopping to admire the view and  
she grew impatient and went on ahead. She had already reached the top and was facing  
him, her hands on her hips, an irritated look on her face. She was dressed for the  
occasion, her hair was pulled back in two braids and she was wearing khaki shorts and a  
sapphire blue tank top that matched her eyes. "You are the slowest person I know."   
  
Julian took a deep breath and smiled. The air here was absolutely heavenly. It rained  
almost every night here, so it always smelled of rain mixed with the various plants in the  
area. "I'm not usually this slow. I just can't get over how beautiful it is here. The name is  
absolutely perfect."   
  
"What do you mean?" Vicki Ann asked, her forehead wrinkled with confusion.   
  
He loved how he could read her emotions just by her expression.   
Not that she gave a lot away usually, he just knew her that well. He knew that she was  
absolutely clueless as to what he was talking about. He walked the rest of the way up to  
her. "The name means 'Heaven's door.' And this place definitely is heaven," he replied.   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "You're right. This place is beautiful."   
  
"Just like you," Julian replied, kissing her. For the next few minutes, they forgot the beauty  
of the landscape and were totally wrapped up in each other. Finally, Vicki Ann pulled  
away.   
  
"Julian," she scolded. "We came here to hike, not to kiss."   
  
"Well," he replied, smiling. "We're at the top. Don't we deserve a break?"   
  
"Going down the mountain is easier than going up."   
  
"I know, but it's so beautiful up here. Why don't we watch the sunset?"   
  
"Okay," Vicki Ann replied, smiling. "You won over the romantic in me."   
  
They sat down on a rock a few feet away from the edge of the cliff. Julian slid his arm  
around her and she laid his head on his shoulder. As the sun set over the jade-colored  
ocean below, Julian realized just how lucky he was to have Vicki Ann in his life.   
  
Julian awoke with a start. "Thank you, Ezri!" he shouted to the empty infirmary. Now he  
remembered why that woman looked familiar. She looked like Vicki Ann. He ran over to the  
computer console. He called up the picture from Rigalia IV and beside it, one of Vicki Ann.  
"Computer, remove the Bajoran markings from picture A." The computer altered the  
picture. "So far so good. Computer, alter hair color of picture A to match that of picture  
B."   
  
The computer obeyed and replied, "There is a .2% possibility of error."   
  
Julian smiled. "I like those odds. Now, alter the eye color to sapphire blue."   
  
The computer obeyed and replied, "There is a 1% possibility or error."   
  
"I still like those odds." He tapped his comm badge. "Bashir to Kira. I may have found Vicki  
Ann."   
  
Vicki Ann walked out of the Constable's office. The power couplings were going to be put  
in her shuttle and a 'unknown' burglar was going to steal that night. The burglar was a  
member of Section 31 and was going to take them back to the station where she had  
been held.   
  
As for her, she was going to Earth to meet with someone about some phase emitters. She  
had no idea what Sid was going to do with the emitters, she was just following orders. As  
she walked out into the square, she decided to get some dinner before she went back to  
her hotel. She spotted a caf‚ across the street and walked toward it.   
  
"If she really is in Section 31, which we can guess by her altered appearance, she'll  
probably avoid Starfleet officers," Kira told Bashir over the comm link in the shuttle.   
  
Ezri nodded. "I agree. We should wear civilian clothing when approaching her."   
  
Julian shook his head. "I really don't think that'll work. I think we're going to have to catch  
her by surprise."   
  
"What do you mean?" Ezri asked.   
  
"Just follow my lead," Julian replied.   
  
Kira frowned. "Do what you have to, doctor, just don't cause any trouble."   
  
Vicki Ann walked out of the caf‚ and began to walk back to her hotel. It was dark by now,  
but the phaser at her side made her feel safe. She never thought that she'd feel this way,  
but if anyone knew who she was or who she was with, she could be in danger. She had  
managed to avoid all the Starfleet officers she saw. She enjoyed the walk back, breathing  
in the cool, night air and reveling in the quiet that had fallen over the city. She smiled at  
the people in the lobby of the hotel and went up to her room. Just as she was keying in  
her room code, she thought she heard someone come up behind her. She went to turn,  
but heard the hiss of a hypospray against her neck and all went black.   
  
Vicki Ann was awake, but was afraid to open her eyes. She was thought that someone  
had figured out who she was and was going to interrogate her. She listened to the sounds  
of the room around ger. Something was familiar about the sounds. She heard voices.  
Familiar ones. One especially. They sounded safe. The voices didn't talk about Romulan  
memory probes or any other interrogation devices. Instead, they talked about recovery  
after high exposure to tricolate and dethacol. She decided to open her eyes. Bright light  
greeted her eyes and she flinched. She gathered up the strength to get past her fear and  
glance around the room. She was in an infirmary. She sat up and gasped when she realized  
where she was. She was back on DS9.   
  
Julian turned away from his conversation with Kira and Ezri and checked his patient. When  
he saw that she was sitting up, he smiled and went over to her. "I'm glad to see you're  
awake. How are you feeling?"   
  
Oh my God, I have to be dreaming! Vicki Ann thought to herself. Or hallucinating.  
Either way, I'm in trouble. Dwelling on Julian's death will prevent me from fulfilling my duties  
as a member of Section 31. She pinched herself. No such luck. I must be hallucinating.  
She closed her eyes. Julian is dead. He is not here.   
  
Julian is dead. When I open my eyes, he'll be gone. She opened her eyes. He was still  
there. I'm worse off than I thought. She began to cry.   
  
Julian watched Vicki Ann. She'd seemed frightened of him when he came over. She closed  
her eyes and repeated something to herself, almost as if she was trying to convince  
herself of something. When she opened her eyes, she still looked frightened and she began  
to cry. He put his hand on her shoulder. "It's alright, Vicki Ann. You're safe now."   
  
She jerked away from him. "Get away from me! Better yet, go away! You aren't real!  
You're just my imagination!"   
  
Julian was confused. "Vicki Ann, what are you talking about? I'm right here, in front of  
you." She was starting to scare him. She was ranting and raving like a lunatic and her  
eyes blazed with terror.   
  
Ezri walked over to Julian and put her hand on his shoulder. "She seems to be upset by  
your presence. Maybe you should leave."   
  
Julian looked a her, a pained expression in his eyes. He wanted to help his friend and her  
condition was breaking his heart. "Perhaps you're right." He walked back to his office.   
  
Ezri went over to her friend. "Vicki Ann, it's all right. Julian's gone."   
  
Vicki Ann looked up. "Ezri?"   
  
Ezri nodded. "Yes."   
  
Vicki Ann embraced her friend. "Oh, Ezri, I'm so sorry. I didn't have a choice. They said if I  
didn't do it, they would hurt me.   
  
I was afraid they'd go after Deanna or mother. I didn't want to hurt him, but they made  
me do it."   
  
"Hurt who, Vicki Ann? Who did they make you hurt?"   
  
"Julian," Vicki Ann whispered.   
  
Ezri glanced across the room at Julian. So that explains why she's afraid of him. She  
thinks he'll be mad at her for whatever she thinks she did to him. Ezri pulled away from  
Vicki Ann and looked her in the face. "Vicki Ann, how did you hurt Julian?"   
  
"I gave him 10 cc's of tetraline. It shut down the heart and the supply of oxygen to the  
brain. He was dead within minutes."   
  
Ezri gasped. What did they do to her? She thinks that she killed Julian. "Vicki Ann,  
Julian's fine. He's right over there."   
  
"No, Ezri. He can't be! I was there. I killed him!"   
  
"No, you didn't, Vicki Ann."   
  
"Yes, I did!"   
  
Vicki Ann was crying hysterically by now. Julian couldn't bear to watch it. He snuck up  
behind her and nailed her with a hypospray of a very powerful sedative. She would be out  
cold for a few hours. As Vicki Ann fell back onto the bed, Julian heaved a sigh of relief. He  
felt that his own face was wet with tears, which he quickly brushed away. He looked over  
at Ezri, who looked as ashen as he did. "God, Ezri. What are we going to do? There's so  
much damage to her brain from the drugs that I don't know if I can fix it. If I can't, she'll  
be like this forever."   
  
Ezri put Julian's hand in hers. "I'm sure you can do it, Julian. As for the rest, how would  
you feel about avoiding her when I come for counseling sessions?"   
  
Julian nodded. "That's a good idea. How about giving her a tranquilizer before each  
session, so this doesn't happen again?"   
  
"That's fine with me. How long will she be out from the sedative?"   
  
"About four hours."   
  
"Alright. I'll come back then. And I suggest you get your dinner around that time."   
  
Dr. Julian Bashir looked at the medical logs in front of him for the hundredth time.  
Something just didn't seem right. They were from the Enterprise and they didn't fit. While  
they were at Utopia Planitia for repairs, Vicki Ann made a visit to Starfleet Medical. While  
she was there, she was treated for a sprained ankle and a concussion. A few days after  
she was there, she underwent a series of tests due to the fact that she fainted. Nothing  
was found in her system and the doctor wrote it off as undernourishment. A few weeks  
later, while back on the Enterprise, she fainted again. Dr. Crusher scanned her and found  
nothing. Fainting is a early side effect of exposure to tricolate and dethacol. He continued  
through the logs and found that Dr. Crusher had ordered anyone with a rare blood type to  
give blood before the Enterprise entered the war, for precautions sake. Vicki Ann was type  
AB negative. Thank goodness the repairs are taking longer than normal.   
With all the ships docked for repairs, it was no wonder. Julian smiled to himself and ran out  
of the infirmary.   
  
Dr. Beverly Crusher was cleaning up sickbay. She was finished for the day and wanted to  
go down to the station to see Vicki Ann. Lt. Dax had sent the senior staff a message when  
they had found Vicki Ann. From Dax's reports, Vicki Ann's condition didn't sound very good.  
Deanna had already gone down to the station with Riker. They had suggested that she  
and the captain come down later. Beverly shook her head sadly. She had figured that Vicki  
Ann would be leaving for her own CMO position soon, not because she was losing her mind.  
  
Lt. Commander Data was walking down the corridor to sickbay. He had some tricorders for  
Dr. Crusher that she had asked him to modify. He heard someone running behind him and  
turned to see who it was. It was Dr. Bashir. "Hello, doctor. What are you doing on the  
Enterprise?"   
  
Bashir stopped at the doors to sickbay to catch his breath. "I'm here. . .to see. . . Dr.  
Crusher."   
  
"Why are you running? Is everything alright? Do you need assistance?"   
  
Bashir smiled. "I'm fine, Data. I'm here about Vicki Ann."   
  
Data nodded. "It is tragic that such a promising officer was not only kicked out of  
Starfleet, but has now fallen so ill."   
  
"Well, I might have found something to help her case, but I need to see Dr. Crusher. Care  
to accompany me?"   
  
Data nodded. "I was just on my way to see her myself."   
  
The doors to sickbay opened and Dr. Crusher looked up. Data had entered, along with Dr.  
Bashir. Beverly went over to them. "Julian,"   
she said, taking Bashir's hand. "It's so good to see you. I just wish it could be under better  
circumstances."   
  
Bashir nodded. "It's good to see you too, doctor."   
  
Beverly laughed. "You don't have to be so formal! Call me Beverly. Any friend of Vicki Ann's  
is a friend of mine! Is there something I can do for you?"   
  
"Actually yes," Bashir replied. "I was checking your logs to see if there was anything that  
would help Vicki Ann, when I noticed that before the Enterprise entered the war, you  
asked everyone with rare blood types to give blood."   
  
Beverly nodded. "Yes, I did. I figured that if we were in battle, the replicator power would  
be put to better use somewhere else."   
  
"I need Vicki Ann's sample."   
  
"Sure, Julian, but why?"   
  
"Just call it a hunch, but I think she was given tricolate and dethacol at Starfleet Medical."  
  
"What?"   
  
"She fainted after she was treated for her broken ankle and concussion and she fainted  
when she came back here."   
  
"Yes, but neither I nor Starfleet medical found anything in her system."   
  
"Was she unconscious at any time during her time at Starfleet Medical?"   
  
Beverly thought for a moment. "Yes, she was. When she fell in engineering, sickbay was  
under repairs, so we had her beamed to Starfleet Medical. She was unconscious for an  
hour or so. Why?"   
  
"There might be something inside her that is blocking our scans."   
  
"You mean like an implant?" Data suggested.   
  
"Exactly," Julian said, nodding.   
  
"Defiantly a hunch, but a good one. Come on, let's check that blood sample," Beverly  
replied.   



	8. 8

Chapter 8   
Qui statuit aliquid parte inaudita altera, aequum licet statuerit. One who passes sentence  
on something without having heard the other part isn't juste, even if the sentence is  
juste.   
(Seneca Philosophus, Medea. Cf. audietur et altera pars.)   
  
The sample showed trace amounts of tricolate and dethacol, which was exactly what  
Bashir was looking for. Tricolate and dethacol decayed gradually, even when in inactive  
blood. Based on the average rate of decay and the amount in the sample, he determined  
that the drugs were administered the exact day Vicki Ann was in Starfleet medical for her  
concussion and broken ankle. He had hit pay dirt.   
  
Sid smiled to himself when he received the report stating that Victorianna Troi had been  
'kidnaped' by two very familiar civilians, according to the local police. He looked at the  
surveillance pictures and laughed. The two 'civilians' were Dr. Julian Bashir and Lt. Ezri Dax.  
He had known that if Bashir got his hands on the reports about Rigalia IV that he would go  
looking for his friend. He had played right into their hand. Now, all they needed to do was  
get Troi back into Starfleet. He bet that Bashir would be making a call to Starfleet  
Headquarters in the next few days, blaming them for Troi's condition. He needn't worry;  
she would be fine, as soon as the tricolate and dethacol were out of her system. After  
that, all Lt. Dax would need to do would be to assist Troi in her recovery. Once the drugs  
are out of her system, the implant will cease to operate and cloak itself for a few days, to  
avoid suspicion. Once Troi makes a 'full' recovery, the implant will resume operation and  
she will be theirs again, only a Starfleet officer as well.   
  
Ezri walked into the infirmary for a counseling session with Vicki Ann. Julian was in his  
office. She wanted to check on him and make sure he hadn't overworked himself. He was  
sitting at the computer. "What are you doing?" she asked.   
  
"I'm comparing Vicki Ann's medical records from birth to determine when exactly she was  
genetically engineered so that we can find out who was responsible," he replied.   
  
"What have you found out?"   
  
"Well, up until age 15, her records look normal. She applied to the Academy that year.  
Then, she was in a horseback riding accident and was in self-healing a coma for almost a  
month due to her injuries. The brain was damaged, mostly the telepathic lobe, so her body  
responded by inducing coma. I'm guessing that's when it happened."   
  
Ezri gasped. "Julian, are you saying that someone did this without her or her parents  
knowledge?"   
  
Julian nodded. "I'm calling up the rest of the hospital records now." He looked at the  
records as they popped up on the screen. "Something isn't right here. These records don't  
look right."   
  
"In what way?"   
  
"These records show none of the injuries from the accident. There is no indication that she  
had any broken bones, which she did. As a matter of fact, she broke her leg, three ribs  
and had a fractured wrist."   
  
"You mean that someone forged these records?"   
  
"Exactly."   
  
"Where was the hospital?"   
  
"Betazed. This doesn't make sense, Ezri. If someone tried this to cover it up, but did such  
a messy job of it, maybe they wanted to be found out."   
  
"Either that, or they didn't depend on a genetically engineered person looking for it." Ezri  
shook her head. "Who would do something like this?"   
  
Julian shook his head. "I don't know."   
  
Ezri's eyes lit up as if she'd had a sudden insight. "Julian, how long after her application to  
the academy did this 'accident' occur?"   
  
"Two months."   
  
"So whoever did this would have seen by then that Vicki Ann had a good chance of  
getting in."   
  
"What are you suggesting?"   
  
"That whoever did this knew that Vicki Ann was going to get into the Academy and  
wanted make sure she would become the best in Starfleet."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"You tell me."   
  
"So that she could get kicked out of Starfleet and join Section 31!" Julian exclaimed. "Oh,  
my God. I can't believe Section 31 would sink that low. Thank goodness Vicki Ann was in a  
coma when the treatments were administered, otherwise, it would have been extremely  
painful at her age."   
  
"Her intelligence tests were above average to begin with. How much was it increase?"   
  
"Well, in high school, she was in the top 20% of her class. She was Valedictorian at the  
Academy. I'd say at least fifty points."   
  
"Why didn't anyone pick this up?"   
  
"The simple act of forging the previous test scores. I seriously doubt that the Leonards  
ever knew Vicki Ann's exact score. They probably just knew it was close to genius and let  
her go her own way, learn her own way."   
  
"How did they explain her doing so much better?"   
  
"They probably attributed it her studying more."   
  
"Wow," Ezri sighed. "If Section 31 did all this, then can you imagine how far this must go  
back? They might even have been watching her since she was a child."   
  
Julian nodded. "Her uncle was in Starfleet. Vicki Ann told me that ever since she knew  
what Starfleet was, she wanted to be in it."   
  
"They must have wanted her awfully bad in order to go to all this trouble."   
  
"Like I said, she's a talented doctor who lost everything and is angry at Starfleet. She's in  
the perfect position for their propaganda."   
  
"Doctor, the Admiral is very busy right now. Can this wait?"   
the young ensign asked Julian.   
  
"No, it can't wait! I've got a woman here who's barely hanging onto her sanity and it's the  
Admiral's fault!" Julian replied.   
  
The doctor's harsh tone seemed to frighten the ensign. "I'll see what I can do." The screen  
flashed back to the Federation symbol and a moment later, the Admiral's face appeared.   
  
Julian managed a smile, although it had been so long since had done so, he thought the  
muscles in his face ached when he did it. "Admiral, I apologize for the inconvenience, but I  
would really like to speak to you about Victorianna Troi."   
  
"What about her?"   
  
"Section 31 seems to have done a number on her and-."   
  
The admiral interrupted Julian. "She's no longer our problem, doctor."   
  
"She's a Federation citizen, dammit! And that makes her our problem."   
  
"She gave up Federation citizenship when she joined Section 31."   
  
"That's what I wanted to speak to you about. It appears that when Vicki Ann was at  
Starfleet Medical being treated for a concussion and a broken ankle, that an implant of  
some sort was placed in her brain and her system was pumped with tricolate and dethacol.  
Therefore, she was not in her right mind when she joined Section 31."   
  
"I find that hard to believe, doctor. Those drugs would have shown up on any scan and my  
records show that she was treated not only by Starfleet Medical before she entered  
Section 31, but also on the Enterprise."   
  
"The implant blocks the scans of the drugs."   
  
"Well, then why did you pick it up on your scans?"   
  
"The implant appears to be malfunctioning. It seems, Admiral, that a member of Section  
31did this to her at Starfleet Medical. Most likely, more than one person was involved.  
Now, unless you would like Lwaxana Troi, or shall I say Ambassador Troi, contacting you  
and blaming you for her daughter's condition, I suggest you reinstate her and make her  
your problem again."   
  
"Doctor, I believe that is blackmail."   
  
"No, it's not. That is exactly what will happen. Believe me, I know Lwaxana and when she  
finds out about this, she will not be happy. With the help of Deanna and a few of Vicki  
Ann's friends, we may be able to convince Lwaxana not to press charges against Starfleet  
Medical for attempted murder and negligence, not to mention malpractice!"   
  
"Attempted murder!"   
  
"Yes, the dosages Vicki Ann received would have been lethal to her had she not been  
genetically engineered."   
  
"But, doctor, there is the issue of her genetic engineering."   
  
"I have uncovered evidence that proves that her engineering was done without her  
knowledge while she was hospitalized twenty-one years ago."   
  
"By whom?"   
  
"I believe that Section 31 did it to try and turn her into the perfect operative."   
  
The admiral frowned. "Alright, doctor. You win. But, I want you to personally vouch for her  
behavior. And as punishment for joining Section 31, despite the drugs, she will be reduced  
in rank to Lt. Commander and will serve a one year probation period under your supervision  
on DS9. After that year is over, she may seek a transfer. Is everything understood,  
doctor?"   
  
Julian had to keep himself from beaming. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."   
  
The admiral managed a smile. "You're welcome."   
  
"Diagnosis?" Julian asked Ezri. They were having a very quick dinner in his office while Vicki  
Ann was visiting with Deanna, Riker, Beverly and Picard.   
  
Ezri sighed and shook her head. "I don't know. She's suffering from  
post-traumatic-stress-disorder. She really believes that it happened and I don't know  
whether it did and she killed your clone or whether it was all in her head."   
  
"Care for some assistance?" a familiar voice asked from behind them.   
  
Julian turned. "Q!"   
  
"Don't worry, doctor. I'm here to help," Q replied, as he leaned against Julian's desk.   
  
"In what way?"   
  
"You need to figure out whether what Vicki Ann experienced is real or imagined. I can help  
with that."   
  
"How?"   
  
Q snapped his fingers and Julian collapsed.   
  
"Julian!" Ezri exclaimed, running over to him.   
  
"Don't worry, Dax. He's fine."   
  
Ezri wasn't so sure. "What have you done to him?"   
  
"Nothing. He has simply gone into Vicki Ann's mind to witness first hand, what happened in  
Section 31."   
  
"Julian! Vicki Ann's collapsed!" Riker shouted from the other room.   
  
Ezri ran in and explained what had happened, while Dr. Crusher monitored Vicki Ann and  
Julian's condition.   



	9. 9

Chapter 9   
Mea mihi conscientia pluris est quam omnium sermo. My conscience means more to me  
than all speech.   
(Cicero, Epistulae ad Atticum)   
  
Julian looked around. He was in Vicki Ann's quarters. She was sitting on the edge of the  
bed crying. He went over to her and tried to comfort her, but she didn't appear to see or  
hear him. A man appeared in her quarters. Julian recognized him as Sid Patrick. Sid fed on  
her anger at Starfleet and made Section 31 sound like the French Resistance. The instant  
he asked her to join, two other 'Vicki Ann's' appeared. One wore a Section 31 uniform and  
wore an unreadable expression on her face. The other one wore a Starfleet uniform  
(complete with pips and insignia) and was obviously upset over Section 31's presence.   
  
"What is going on here?" Julian asked.   
  
"It's simple, doctor," Q said. He had appeared beside Julian. He snapped his fingers and  
everyone but he and Julian froze. "You're in Vicki Ann's mind and you're seeing what  
happened with Section 31."   
He walked over to the Vicki Ann in the complete Starfleet uniform. "This is, in essence,  
Vicki Ann's conscience. It's a combination of her heart and mind trying to help her to do  
the right thing." He then went over to the Section 31 Vicki Ann. "This is the drugs and the  
implant trying to brainwash Vicki Ann. Understand?"   
  
Julian nodded.   
  
Q snapped his fingers and everyone unfroze, as he vanished.   
  
Vicki Ann was considering the offer. Her conscience walked over to her. "Are you crazy?"  
her conscience asked. "You can't join Section 31. It's the opposite of what Starfleet  
believes in!"   
  
The Section 31 Vicki Ann replied, "She is no longer in Starfleet. Besides, Starfleet has  
abandoned those beliefs. Section 31 is just trying to protect those beliefs."   
  
Julian began to think the two as Starfleet and Section 31. Vicki Ann said that she would  
join Section 31. Another man appeared in the room, behind Vicki Ann. He wore a Starfleet  
doctor's uniform. "Oh my God!" Julian exclaimed. "It's me!" The other Bashir nailed Vicki Ann  
with a hypospray just as she turned around.   
  
The scene changed to Vicki Ann in a room with Sid. He and Vicki Ann spoke for a few  
moments and then the other Bashir again snuck up on her with a hypospray. While Vicki  
Ann was unconscious, they began to perform surgery. The other Bashir modified the  
implant and then woke her up. Julian heard a voice in his head. Q. Vicki Ann did not  
witness the surgery, but I am allowing you to see it to confirm your suspicions.   
  
The Bashir clone then told Vicki Ann that he had joined Section 31 while on Romulus.  
Another man entered and accused Vicki Ann of being a double agent. She denied it and  
pleaded with his clone to believe her. Instead, he knocked her unconscious. When he woke  
her, they were in a different room and Vicki Ann was bound to a chair. The Bashir clone  
began to use various torture devices on her to get her to talk.   
  
Starfleet had her mouth open in shock. "What happened to Julian? He's so different!"   
  
Section 31 replied, "War changes people. War makes people become the opposite of what  
they are. A healer will become a killer and a killer, a healer."   
  
"Is that what you're trying to do?" Starfleet asked Section 31. "Turn her into a killer?"   
  
"She is a member of Section 31. She will do what she must to survive," was the reply.   
  
"Well, if she wants to survive, she'd better confess,"   
Starfleet muttered.   
  
"Never confess, even if it means death," Section 31 replied.   
  
The other Bashir continued to torture Vicki Ann until she could no longer scream. When the  
torture devices failed, he physically abused her until he knocked he unconscious.   
  
Julian felt tears falling down his face and he realized that he was feeling everything that  
Vicki Ann was. He thought to himself, I have no idea how Vicki Ann can stand feeling  
everyone else's emotions everyday. I'd go crazy.   
  
In the next scene, the other Bashir tried to convince Vicki Ann to become his ally.  
Starfleet disagreed. "Don't do it, Vicki Ann. He's obviously lost his mind! There's no telling  
what he might do."   
  
"She needs an ally. He's the only one she can trust," Section 31 told Starfleet.   
  
"He's evil!"   
  
"There is no evil, only misinterpreted actions."   
  
"Misinterpreted actions? You're as crazy as him!"   
  
"If she doesn't have an ally, she has a greater chance of getting killed."   
  
Starfleet considered the thought. "You do have a point there. He is the closest thing she  
has to a friend here."   
  
The other Bashir told Vicki Ann that the reason he and Ezri broke up was because he was  
still in love with her. He suggested that they get back together.   
  
Starfleet had a different idea. "It's fine if he's your ally, but don't even think about having  
a relationship with him! You'd be reenacting your relationship with Gerard!"   
  
Sid then came into the room and chased Bashir out. He then told Vicki Ann that she had to  
enter a relationship with Bashir in order to get close enough to him to perform some sort of  
punishment for betraying Section 31.   
  
Vicki Ann followed Bashir, who had returned, to their quarters. He asked her about  
re-entering a relationship with him and she said yes.   
  
Starfleet walked over to her. "What are you doing?"   
  
Section 31 replied, "She loves Julian."   
  
"No, she doesn't. She loves David!"   
  
"David was a replacement for Julian."   
  
Starfleet was becoming angry. "No, he wasn't! If anything, Julian was a replacement for  
David! Not that I didn't love Julian, I did. Just not as much as I love David. Besides, Julian  
is dangerous!"   
  
"Being in Starfleet is dangerous. Danger is a part of life."   
  
"Sure it is, but that doesn't mean that she should walk into a destructive relationship!"  
Starfleet exclaimed. She turned to Vicki Ann. "I know you're doing this because he  
threatened you, but you can't live your life in fear, Vicki Ann. Besides, when you joined  
Starfleet and took your doctor's oath, you swore that upholding all those ideals was more  
important than death."   
  
"She doesn't have a choice."   
  
The scent shifted again to the next morning. Bashir was kissing Vicki Ann.   
  
Starfleet didn't like this one bit. "Tell him you have a headache or you're too tired. Think of  
something!"   
  
Section 31 almost snickered. "She can't do that forever. They're lovers, he's going to  
expect them to make love."   
  
"She can try. Just because she's supposed to get close to him doesn't mean she has to  
betray David!"   
  
"Don't you remember your time with Julian?" Section 31 asked her.   
  
Images of his time with Vicki Ann flashed in Julian's head. Vicki Ann was remembering. The  
implant was making her remember to try and convince her that she still loved Julian. That  
way, she could throw herself into the part.   
  
Weeks went by and Sid visited. He told Vicki Ann that she was to give Julian a dose of  
methacoline that night. Methacoline cause the slow deterioration of the neural pathways  
and causes frightening hallucinations. It would definitely make someone regret crossing  
Section 31.   
  
Starfleet went over to Vicki Ann and grabbed her shoulders. Over the past few weeks, she  
had grown to hate Bashir less and almost think of him as a friend. "Don't sell him out. Yes,  
maybe he's betrayed Section 31, but he's still you friend. I think. Besides, he's still a  
person. You can't willingly hurt someone. You're a doctor!"   
  
"She's not a doctor," replied Section 31.   
  
Starfleet replied, "She's a doctor at heart."   
  
She was right. Vicki Ann never would have joined Section 31, let alone killed or hurt  
anyone had she not had the implant in her.   
  
That night Vicki Ann set up a romantic evening with candles and wine to get Bashir drunk  
so that she could administer the drug. When Bashir arrived, she laid on the charm.   
  
Starfleet looked repulsed. "You're going to torture this man with immense pain and you're  
enjoying yourself. What happened to you? Wait, I know. You've finally become the sadist  
Section 31 wants you to be."   
  
Vicki Ann turned to the Starfleet version of herself. "I don't have a choice. I have too  
much to lose if I don't obey! If I don't obey, they could hurt my family! I don't want to  
condemn my little brother to death because I couldn't play dirty!"   
  
"Who are you?" Starfleet asked, her eyes narrowing. "You are not Victorianna Troi. You are  
the product of Section 31's brainwashing!"   
  
"I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!" Vicki Ann screamed.   
  
After Bashir fell asleep, Vicki Ann administered the hypospray after arguing with herself  
over whether or not to administer the hangover cure instead. Section 31 had won by  
asking Starfleet if she wanted to be responsible for the deaths of Vicki Ann's friends and  
family.   
  
Julian watched his representation, who should have woken up from the pain by now. But  
he didn't.   
  
Starfleet noticed this too and looked scared. "Why isn't he waking up?"   
  
When Vicki Ann pulled out a tricorder, Julian went over to read it. It stated that the  
hypospray had contained tetraline, not methacoline. The Julian Bashir in Vicki Ann's mind  
was dead.   
  
Tears began to stream down both Vicki Ann and Starfleet's faces. "Oh my God!" Starfleet  
exclaimed. "She killed him." She turned to Section 31. "No, you killed him. This is all your  
fault."   
She ran at her opposite and attacked her.   
  
Section 31 pulled out a knife and stabbed Starfleet, who stumbled back and vanished.  
"There can be no attachments. Not even inside. You can trust no one but yourself."   
  
When Vicki Ann started to apologize to Bashir and cry over his death, Section 31 replied,  
"The only way to survive is no to feel anything." Section 31 had won. They had completely  
hidden the real Vicki Ann beneath their programmed one.   
  
The rest of the story, Julian knew. Vicki Ann had been sent to Rigalia IV and he and Ezri  
had kidnaped her. Julian watched Vicki Ann and he wished that she was real so that he  
would comfort her. It broke his heart to see his friend suffering like this. He just hoped  
that he could help the real, physical Vicki Ann.   



	10. 10

Chapter10   
Amicus verus est rara avis.   
A true friend is a rare bird.   
  
"He's waking up," Dr. Crusher observed.   
  
Julian opened his eyes. Everyone was standing around him, obviously concerned, probably  
because they knew that Q was involved.   
  
Ezri was standing beside the bed, watching Julian, her forehead creased with worry."Are  
you alright, Julian?"   
  
Julian nodded as he as he sat up on the biobed. "I'm fine. It's Vicki Ann I'm worried about.  
She's been through hell and I don't know how to help her."   
  
"What did you find out?" Crusher asked.   
  
"Everything she told Ezri happened was all in her mind, programmed by the implant," Julian  
replied. "Wait! Ezri, would it hurt Vicki Ann if we reprogrammed to implant to explain that it  
was all in her mind?"   
  
Ezri thought for a moment. "I don't see why it would. What do you think, Counselor Troi?"   
  
"I think it would be fine," Deanna agreed. "She wouldn't be any worse of than she is now."   
  
Julian ran to the storage area in the back of the infirmary. He retrieved the devices that  
he and O'Brien had used to go into Sloan's mind. He modified his by connecting it to the  
infirmary computer. He then placed Sloan's on Vicki Ann and linked the implant. He tested  
it with a single command: lift your right arm.   
  
Julian glanced over at his patient. She had obeyed. He told her to put her arm down and  
then keyed in all the information he had discovered. When he finished, he let her rest for a  
while so that everything could sink in. He hoped that when she woke up, she would be  
herself. He looked up from his chair. Ezri had entered, followed by Nog, carrying drinks and  
food for everyone.   
  
"Thanks, Nog," Julian said, as he took a steaming hot Tarkalean tea from the young officer.  
  
"You're welcome, doctor." he leaned toward Julian as if he had a secret. "My uncle asked  
me to tell you that he wishes Vicki Ann well."   
  
Julian smiled. "You can tell Quark that I won't tell his secret. Make sure you thank him for  
all of us, especially Vicki Ann."   
  
Nog nodded and then helped Ezri distribute the drinks.   
  
For the next hour or so, they sat around talking about everything but the reason they  
were there. Julian heard his tricorder, which was lying on the table beside Vicki Ann's bed,  
beep before anyone else. "Wait," he said, holding up his hand as he stood. He went over  
to check on Vicki Ann and saw that she was waking up. She opened her eyes and Julian  
winced, half expecting her to be hysterical like she had the last time she had seen him.  
She wasn't.   
  
"Julian?" she asked.   
  
Julian beamed and replied, "Yes, it's me."   
  
Vicki Ann began to sit up and Julian helped her. She looked around, confused. "What's  
going on? Why is everyone here?"   
  
Beverly came over smiling. "Don't you remember? We came to visit you."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "I remember, but everything is fuzzy. I remember a lot of things, but  
they don't seem right."   
  
"Like what?" Julian asked, as he checked her with his tricorder.   
  
She looked at him,.unsure of whether she wanted to tell him what she remembered. "Well,  
I remember giving you a lethal dose of tetraline, but I also remember seeing you afterward.  
Everything is mixed up. I don't what was real and what I dreamt."   
  
Julian sat down beside her. "Vicki Ann, do you remember when you were taken to Starfleet  
Medical for a concussion and broken ankle?"   
when she nodded, he continued, "While you were unconscious, someone put an implant in  
you and pumped you full of tricolate and dethacol."   
  
"Suggestion drugs? You mean they brainwashed me?"   
  
Julian nodded. "Almost everything you thought, said or did, from that day on was a result  
of their programming. Once they had you in their custody, my clone modified the implant  
to not only tell you what to say, think and do, but what to feel and what to remember.  
They used this to create an elaborate hallucination where you killed me. I believe that  
they were trying to desensitize you to turn you into the perfect agent."   
  
As Vicki Ann listened to Julian, the tears began to run down her face. She remembered  
everything now. She remembered how numb she had felt after she had killed the man  
standing in front f her. The same man that had given back her free will. She touched her  
hand to the side of his face. "It's hard to believe that you are still alive."   
  
Julian smiled. "I'm fine, Vicki Ann," he said, taking her hand in his.   
  
The tears were going full force now. "Oh, Julian. I'm so sorry."   
  
Julian embraced her. "It's alright, Vicki Ann. It wasn't your fault." When she calmed down,  
Julian asked. "How do you feel about Starfleet?" When she looked at him questioningly, he  
smiled. "Just a little test."   
  
Vicki Ann remembered that she had lost her job. "Well, I'd like my job back, but I know  
that's not going to happen, so I might as well start looking for a new profession."   
  
Julian was trying to hold back his grin.   
  
"What are you smiling about?" she asked.   
  
"Well, I talked to the admiral about you and due to the circumstances in which you joined  
Section 31 and the circumstances behind you genetic engineering-"   
  
"What circumstances?" Vicki Ann interrupted.   
  
Julian told her what he had discovered in the hospital records. Vicki Ann, in shock remained  
quiet, so Julian continued. "As a result of the circumstances and that I personally vouched  
for your behavior, I was able to convince the admiral to reinstate you."   
  
Vicki Ann leapt off the biobed and hugged Julian. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" When  
Julian gasped for air, she pulled away. She kissed him. "I love you, Julian! I will name my  
first born child after you!"   
  
Julian became a little uncomfortable and untangled himself from her grasp. "It's okay, Vicki  
Ann." His expression became grim. "There's one catch though."   
  
"What?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
"Your rank has been reduced to Lieutenant Commander and you have to stay here under  
my supervision for one year, as a kind of probation."   
  
"That'll be fine," she replied, smiling and hugging Julian again. She frowned. "One question.  
How did you find out what really happened?"   
  
"Lots of detective work and a little help from a certain omnipotent entity."   
  
"Q?"   
  
Julian nodded. "He took me into your head to show me how Section 31 brainwashed you.  
Now, doctor, I believe you should go to you quarters for a good night sleep."   
  
Vicki Ann saluted. "Yes, sir."   



	11. 11

Chapter 11   
Satius est impunitum relinqui facinus nocentis, quam innocentem damnari. It is better that  
a crime is left unpunished than that an innocent man is punished.   
(Corpus Iuris Civilis: Digesta)   
  
Vicki Ann went over to he mirror and picked up her hairbrush. As she brought it up to her  
hair, she looked in the mirror. She gasped and dropped her brush when she saw the  
reflection. It wasn't her in the mirror. Instead, a woman with pale, porcelain skin, onyx  
eyes, and matching curly hair was staring back at her. Vicki Ann remembered seeing this  
woman before. It was Q's mother. "Selene," she whispered, stepping away from the vanity.  
  
The woman emerged from the mirror and walked through the vanity as if it didn't exist. She  
smiled. "Hello, Vicki Ann."   
  
Vicki Ann was so shocked that all she could say was, "Hello."   
  
"I understand that this must be scary for you, knowing that I'm dead, but I need you to  
listen to me."   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head slightly to snap herself out of her shock. "Alright, I'll listen, but  
one question, first. How are you here?"   
  
"All Q are interconnected, therefore, no Q can really die. I am the part of Selene that is  
left in the Continuum."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "What is this all about?"   
  
"The Q are in the midst of recovering from the war. I fear that if they do not learn from  
their past, they will fall victim to this same problem again."   
  
"I understand, but why come to me? Why not go to the Continuum? Or Q? Or his brother?"   
  
"I know of your relationship with my son. I had a feeling that you were the one who could  
help and so I have been watching you. My son helping you with your recent illness  
confirmed that you were the one to help the Continuum."   
  
"Obviously, a member of the Q would be a better choice."   
  
"You are still a member of the Q. In essence anyway. Part of you is still in the Continuum.  
Besides, the Continuum has you to thank for the war ending."   
  
"Me?"   
  
"Yes, your relationship with Q helped to make him the man he has become."   
  
"And what kind of man is that?"   
  
"He has learned to become responsible for his actions. He know realizes that just because  
his is a member of the Q, he cannot do what he wishes and believe that it will not affect  
anyone."   
  
"I don't know if I believe that, but thank you anyway. But, how can you help the  
Continuum by talking to me?"   
  
"There is a secret from the Continuum's past that they must face before they can move  
on. When Quinn my husband was a young Q, he made a journey through the Guardian  
where he met humans, who didn't exist here yet. He was impressed until he met an  
interesting woman. This woman was human and yet she possessed the vast array of  
knowledge that he did. She was one who can travel through time and space with their  
mind. Thorough this travel, they are capable of acquiring a vast array of knowledge. Quinn  
fell in love with this woman and took her back with him. That woman was me. I was kept a  
secret for a very long time. We had Q and Q2 and things were fine for a while.   
  
"Then, the Q discovered what Quinn had done. As I said, the Q are interconnected. When  
Quinn mated with a human, human blood was infused into the Continuum. It was decided  
that no one must find out. Therefore, the memories of the incident of everyone involved  
was erased. As far as everyone knew, I was Q and had always been so. Eventually Quinn  
changed into he man he is today. The Continuum began to change as well. As other races  
developed, the Q became arrogant about their powers."   
  
Vicki Ann gasped. "I can't believe this. But why are you telling me?"   
  
"I want you to tell Q. He'll listen to you. He can tell the Continuum and they can begin to   
deal with their past."   
  
Q frowned at Vicki Ann. "Very funny. Did Bashir program you with a new sense of humor?"   
  
Vicki Ann sighed. Selene had left and Vicki Ann had summoned Q with the chimes. She had  
told h im what his mother had said, but he didn't believe her. "Q, why would I lie to you?"  
She tapped the side of her head. "Am I lying to you?"   
  
Q's frown deepened. "No, you're not." He sat down on the couch. "I can't believe it. My  
mother was human."   
  
Vicki Ann laughed. "It wasn't that bad."   
  
"You don't know what could happen, Vicki Ann. My brother and I could be punished for  
this. We could be banished from the Continuum."   
  
"Again?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"What about the people who covered it up?"   
  
"They may be punished as well. I'm going to have to speak to my brother about this. I'll let  
you know what happens.:   
  
Vicki Ann put her hand on his arm. "I'm sure everything will be fine, Q."   
  
Vicki Ann was working on some test results for Julian, who was checking on a few  
patients. One of the nurses came up to Vicki Ann and said, "Dr. Troi, could you check this  
simulation for me?"   
  
"Sure," Vicki Ann replied. She took the PADD from the nurse and looked it over.   
  
One of the patients Julian had finished treating walked over to her. "Are you Dr. Troi?"   
  
"Yes, I am," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
"Victorianna Troi?" the man asked.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Are you aware that those power couplings you acquired for Section 31 were used to make  
a bomb that killed twenty people on Starbase 27?"   
  
Vicki Ann just stared. "No, I wasn't. I was told they were for repairs."   
  
"Well, you should know better than to trust Section 31."   
  
"I'm sorry, sir, but I was ill at the time. I wasn't in my right mind."   
  
"And that makes it alright?"   
  
Vicki Ann was starting to get nervous. "No, I never said that. But, it wasn't my fault."   
  
"It wasn't your fault? You're the one who got those couplings and didn't think that you  
might be lied to. You killed all those people!"   
  
Julian noticed that the man was getting angry and he was afraid that the man would hurt  
Vicki Ann. He started to walk over to the man, slowly as not to startle him.   
  
"My wife was on that Starbase. You killed her!" the man yelled, reaching for Vicki Ann's  
neck.   
  
Julian saw the man begin to strangle Vicki Ann. He sprinted over and subdued the patient  
with a hypospray. Then he called security. "Are you alright?" he asked, turning to Vicki Ann  
and putting his hand on her shoulder.   
  
Vicki Ann shook his arm off. "No! I knew this was a mistake. I never should have accepted  
my license back."   
  
"What are you talking about? You're a brilliant doctor, Vicki Ann."   
  
"No, I'm not Julian!" She pointed to the people in the infirmary. "When they look at me,  
they don't see a doctor trying to help people. They see a cold-blooded murderer, who not  
only betrayed the Federation, but everything she believed in. And that's exactly what I  
see when I look in the mirror. Because that's what I am."   
  
"No, you're not. I know you, Vicki Ann."   
  
"No. The Vicki Ann you knew is dead. Section 31 buried her a long time ago." She took a  
deep breath. "As hard as it is for me to do this, I have to." She removed her comm badge  
and set it on the table. She turned to leave, but Julian grabbed her arm.   
  
"If it's hard for you to give it up, then at least a little bit of the Vicki Ann I know must still  
be inside you."   
  
"No," she replied. "There is nothing of her left. Section 31 made sure of that."   
  
When his shift was over, Julian went to Vicki Ann's quarters. He rang the chime. When she  
didn't answer, he overrode the privacy lock. "Vicki Ann, you're not doing yourself any good  
by locking yourself here all by yourself."   
  
"Julian, I'm fine. Leave me alone," she called from the other room.   
  
"You can't resign, Vicki Ann."   
  
Vicki Ann sighed. "I don't deserve to be a doctor, Julian."   
  
"Just because you made a few mistakes. . ."   
  
Vicki Ann interrupted him. "Being reinstated by the admiral doesn't erase what I've done.  
The first rule of being a doctor, Julian, is first do no harm. I don't deserve that title  
anymore, not after all the lives I've cost."   
  
"But it wasn't your fault! You didn't even know about the bomb!"   
  
"No, I didn't, but I got them the parts they needed." She laughed sadly. "You know, they  
didn't even tell me what they were using them for. They knew that I wouldn't approve.  
After I thought I killed you, I knew I couldn't show any emotion. Instead, I pretended that  
I was unaffected by it because I knew it had to be done. They thought that they had won  
me, so they began to trust me and told me that it had all been a plan. I was never  
supposed to hurt you, instead they wanted you dead to prove that you can have not  
attachments, even inside. They thought they had my loyalty. And they did. But not  
because I believed in their cause, but because I was scared. Scared for myself. Scared for  
the people I love. This fear caused me to join them. And now I'm paying for it, by giving up  
the only thing I've ever loved."   
  
Julian Bashir needed to figure out a way to talk Vicki Ann into taking back her resignation.  
She'd left it on his desk sometime last night. She probably figured that if she came in  
person, he'd try to talk her out of it, or refuse to accept it. Maybe he could call her in and  
say he needed to talk to her about her health or something. He called up her medical  
records. Well, I can ask her to come to the infirmary to see if she is ready to get the  
implant out. "Dr. Bashir to Victorianna Troi, please report to the infirmary, immediately."   
  
Ten minutes later, Vicki Ann walked in, wearing simple black pants an a blue sweater.  
"What do you want, Julian?"   
  
"I want to check you to see your brain has adjusted to being with out the drugs. If it has,  
I can remove the implant."   
  
"Alright." As Vicki Ann walked over to the biobed Julian pointed to, Julian's console  
exploded. Julian was thrown across the room and knocked unconscious. A second later,  
there was another explosion on the Promenade. Vicki Ann rushed over to Julian. He was  
fine except for the fact that he was unconscious. Vicki Ann heard some commotion. She  
looked up and saw that there was a bunch of people standing in the doorway to the  
infirmary with various injuries. A young Bajoran woman ran in carrying a small boy. "Please,"  
she cried frantically. "My son is injured. Is anyone here a doctor?"   
  
Vicki Ann looked from the boy to Julian and back to the boy. "I am," she said, standing up.  
She began to treat the little boy's injuries and when she finished, she went on to then  
next patient and all the way down the line.   
  
Once Vicki Ann was finished, she asked one of the nurses to help her lift Julian onto a  
biobed. She checked his condition. He was fine. Then she collapsed into a chair. A few  
moments later, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped up and turned around. "Julian!"  
  
She stood up and smiled at him. "How are you feeling?"   
  
"I'll live," he replied. "Who took care of all the injuries?"   
  
"I did."   
  
Julian nodded.   
  
"I'm sorry, but I didn't have a choice. You were unconscious and the nurses couldn't have  
handled some of the worse injuries," she stammered.   
  
Julian walked over to his desk and opened a drawer and pulled out a PADD. "Well, then. We  
have two options, Vicki Ann. We can turn in this resignation into Starfleet or we can hit  
delete and forget it ever happened."   
  
Vicki Ann gasped. "Julian, you mean you didn't turn it in?"   
  
He shook his head.   
  
"Excuse me," said a voice from the doorway. The woman whose child Vicki Ann had treated  
first was standing there with her son. She walked over to Vicki Ann. "You fixed my son's  
broken arm earlier. He insisted that we bring this to you." The little boy held up a picture.  
It was of Vicki Ann fixing his arm and it said in great big rainbow letters, "Thank you."   
  
The little boy grinned at her and said. "Thank you for making my arm better."   
  
Vicki Ann smiled at the boy as she picked him up. She hugged him. "No, thank you," she  
whispered, tears beginning to run down her face. She took the picture and put the boy  
down. "Now you take care of that arm, young man," she said, shaking her finger at him.   
  
The boy nodded. "I will."   
  
The boy's mother smiled. "Thank you again."   
  
"You're welcome," Vicki Ann replied. After they left, Vicki Ann turned to Julian. "Dr. Bashir, I  
believe you should hit delete."   
  
Julian smiled and obeyed. "Welcome back, Vicki Ann," he said, giving her a hug.   
  
Quark rubbed his hands together earnestly. "Okay. Tonight is the night you've all been  
waiting for. Two genetically engineered doctors facing off a the dartboard. In five minutes,  
all bets will close."   
  
Vicki Ann laughed. She turned to Julian. "I wonder who's favored, you or me?"   
  
Julian shrugged. "Did you hear from Q yet?"   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "No, I-" She vanished in mid- sentence.   
  
"Looks like I got my answer," Julian replied. "Hey, Quark!" he called as he went over to the  
bar.   
  
Vicki Ann appeared in a courtroom surrounded by strangers who seemed slightly familiar in  
the back of her mind. In the defendant's seat, sat Q, complete with handcuffs. Vicki Ann  
was sitting in the witness stand. A man walked up her. She assumed he was the  
equivalent of the prosecuting attorney.   
  
"Dr. Troi, you have been brought here as a witness in the trial of Q."   
  
"What are the charges?"   
  
"Inciting a revolution, treason, conspiracy, inferiority. If his story is verified by you, he  
could also be charged with contamination of the Continuum and the timeline and fraud."   
  
Q2, who looked like he was the defense attorney, walked over to the witness stand. "Vicki  
Ann, you've been brought here to testify for Q." He became serious. "Doctor Troi, do you  
know the defendant?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"What is your relationship with him?"   
  
"We're friends."   
  
"Is it true that you were romantically involved with him?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Why did you end the relationship?"   
  
"Because both of us loved our lives too much to leave them so that we could be together."  
  
"Do you trust him?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Do you believe what he tells you?"   
  
"Unless I sense otherwise."   
  
"Sense? What do you mean by that?"   
  
"We are telepathically linked from when I was Q."   
  
"According to the defendant's testimony, you told him that you spoke to his mother, who  
is deceased. Is this true?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"A deceased member of the Continuum, came to you and spoke to you?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"What did she say?"   
  
"She told me that when her husband was young, he brought her through the Guardian of  
Forever from another timeline. They had children, Q and Q2. The Continuum discovered  
that she was human and covered it up by making her a Q and erasing the memories of  
those involved."   
  
"So what you're saying is that the defendant's mother was human."   
  
"Yes."   
  
"And that some members of the Continuum were involved in covering this up."   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Well, fellow members of the Continuum, it looks to me like Q isn't the one who should be  
on trial, but the ones who covered up his mother's heritage," Q2 finished.   
  
The other attorney began his speech. "Q and his brother should be banished from the  
Continuum permanently. They are not fully Q and their being in the Continuum has caused  
us nothing but trouble. They have caused human blood to be brought into the Continuum  
not only once, but twice. They should be punished for their crimes against us."   
  
"May I say something?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
The attorney nodded. "Go ahead."   
  
"Q and Q2 may be responsible for infusing some human blood into the Continuum. But, they  
were also responsible for helping the Continuum get through some rough times. Q2 has  
always been a respected member of the Continuum, and Q helped to end the war. If Q  
hadn't found a way to end the war, you could still be fighting each other. You know the  
consequences of that. Q saved you from yourselves. Now it is time for you to save Q from  
yourselves. Without someone like Q, who has lived as a mortal and interacted with  
mortals, you will fall into the same trap that you did before; letting your arrogance drive  
you to boredom, which in turn will cause dissidents. You need to embrace your roots and  
deal with this secret from your past, so that you can learn from this mistake. Don't punish  
Q for something that wasn't his fault. Don't punish him for being born." As soon as she  
finished, she vanished and reappeared in Quark's again.   



	12. 12

Chapter 12   
Ut sementem feceris, ita metes.   
As you sow, so shall you reap.(Cicero, De oratore.)   
  
"What happened?" Bashir asked.   
  
Vicki Ann glanced around. She was back in Quark's. "I was called to testify for Q. They  
want to banish him from the Continuum forever because of his human background. I tried  
to convince them not to, and once I finished my speech, I reappeared here."   
  
"Ready to play darts?" Julian asked, teasing.   
  
"Prepare to die," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
They stepped up to the marker. Julian threw the first one. Bulls eye.   
  
Vicki Ann's turn. Bulls eye.   
  
Julian was up again, only this time he was a little more nervous. Fifteen points.   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "Pressure got to you, huh?" She threw the second dart. The pressure had  
gotten to her, too. Fifteen points.   
  
"Nervous, Vicki Ann?" Julian teased, as he let his final dart fly. Bulls eye.   
  
Vicki Ann took a deep breath and let the third one go. She closed her eyes, expecting it to  
be a low score.   
  
"Bulls eye!" Quark yelled.   
  
Vicki Ann opened her eyes. She had hit the bulls eye again. She smiled. "Sorry, Julian. I  
win." She looked over at Quark, who was collecting money from the betting customers.  
She heard him say to Morn, "Alright, pay up."   
  
Vicki Ann laughed. "He bet against you!"   
  
"Thanks a lot, Quark," Julian yelled.   
  
Vicki Ann laughed and leaned back against a nearby table. "This is a day that will go down  
in Federation history. Someone actually beat Julian Bashir at darts, and neither party was  
cheating!"   
  
"Very funny," Julian replied, ruffling her hair. He noticed that Vicki Ann's face had suddenly  
shifted to a more somber expression.   
  
"What's wrong?"   
  
"Nothing. I was just thinking about how nice it is to be home."   
  
Julian smiled. "You mean that you actually think of this place as home?"   
  
Vicki Ann returned the smile. "Yes, I do. Besides, home is where you lay your head at  
night. With the exception of prison camps and things like that," she replied.   
  
Julian put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you feel that way."   
  
Ezri walked into Julian's quarters after her last counseling session. Everything was dark and  
quiet, with the exception of soft snoring from the bedroom. Julian must have been  
exhausted. From what Vicki Ann had said when Ezri saw her in the corridor, the infirmary  
had been very busy that day. Ezri quickly changed into her nightclothes and curled up  
beside Julian and fell asleep.   
  
Julian Bashir awoke ten minutes before his alarm was set to go off. He stretched and got  
out of bed. He slept soundly through the night, not waking up once. He dressed and got  
some tea from the replicator. He sat down at his desk and looked over the medical logs  
from the night shift while drinking his tea. He heard someone stir behind him and dreaded  
what was inevitable.   
  
Ezri snuck up behind Julian at his desk and kissed him on the cheek. "Good morning," she  
said. "Did you sleep well?"   
  
Julian nodded. "I'm sorry that I didn't wait up. I was just so exhausted from working in the  
infirmary."   
  
"That's alright," Ezri replied. "What's on the agenda for today?"   
  
"You know, the usual. Physicals, emergencies, etc."   
  
"Can you spare an hour to meet me for lunch?"   
  
Julian looked uncomfortable. "Uh-I don't know. Vicki Ann and I have some simulations to  
run. We'll see."   
  
Ezri nodded. "Julian, is there something you're not telling me?"   
  
"No, Ezri. It's just that things are going to be very busy in the infirmary today."   
  
"What about dinner, then?'   
  
Knowing he probably wouldn't be around for dinner, Julian smiled and replied, "Sure. Dinner  
it is. I have to go. See you later." He kissed her on the cheek and left.   
  
Ezri shrugged and got ready for her shift.   
  
Vicki Ann checked the schedule for the day. There were five physicals scheduled, and  
other than that it would be an easy day. Thank goodness After yesterday, Vicki Ann  
didn't think she could handle another long day. She looked up and saw Julian enter. She  
smiled at him. "Good morning, doctor."   
  
"Good morning," he replied, giving her one of his heart-stopping smiles.   
  
Vicki Ann raised an eyebrow at him. "What's with you?"   
  
"Nothing. I'm just in a good mood." He sat down at his desk and began to get started on  
the day's work.   
  
"What are you doing?" Vicki Ann asked as she leaned over his shoulder to look at the PADD  
he was holding.   
  
Julian swallowed. This would be harder than he thought. Vicki Ann was so close to him  
that he could smell not only her perfume, but her shampoo as well. He even felt a few  
strands of her hair tickling his ear and her breath teasing his neck with its warmth. "Uh-,  
I'm just looking at the physical reports for anything worth reporting to Kira,"   
he replied, hoping she'd leave him alone.   
  
"Trying to keep busy, huh? Can't sit still for a minute. Boy, am I glad I don't have that  
anymore." She straightened up and thought she heard Julian heave a sigh of relief. She  
shook her head. It's just your imagination, Vicki Ann, just your imagination.   
  
Julian was glad when Vicki Ann went over to check on the patients in the infirmary. He  
couldn't keep up this act for long, especially with her around. He knew that she'd started  
letting her barriers down to embrace her Betazoid side a bit more than she used to.   
  
Besides, it wouldn't take an telempath to figure out that he still had feelings for her if they  
hung around long enough. He couldn't fool Ezri for long either. She was a counselor, after  
all. He just hoped that the original Bashir would be back soon and no one would be the  
wiser.   
  
Julian Bashir (the original one) awoke in what looked like a prison cell. He'd been there for  
a while he gathered from the amount of stubble on his face. They leave me in here much  
longer and I'll grow a beard. He was wearing his uniform. The last thing he remembered  
was going back to his quarters after the hellish day he and Vicki Ann had in the infirmary.  
It had been Vicki Ann's first official day back after the incident with Section 31. Thank  
goodness she had been there, because Julian didn't think he'd ever seen so many people  
there. There had been an accident on the Promenade. Someone was carrying some  
equipment and they weren't watching where they were going. It went flying and exploded.  
A bunch of people came in with minor scrapes and burns. Luckily, the worst injury was a  
woman with third degree burns. Last, but not least, he had removed Vicki Ann's implant,  
since she was starting to make a full recovery.   
  
That was all he remembered. He'd gone back to his quarters and was waiting for Ezri.  
She'd had a late counseling appointment. Well, I either fell asleep on the couch or was  
drugged and was taken here.   
Where was he? He stood up and stretched, walking over to the entrance to the room.  
"Hello?" he called. "Is anyone there?" He heard footsteps coming down the hall to where he  
was. He heaved a sigh of relief.   
  
Maybe now I'll find out why I'm here.   
  
"Step away from the door, doctor," a voice said from the other side.   
  
Julian obeyed and as he did, the door slid opened and a man entered. He gasped when his  
memory gave him a name for the face he saw.   
  
"Sid Patrick."   
  
Sid smiled. "It's nice to see you too, Dr. Bashir."   
  
Julian walked up to the other man. "I am anything but happy to see you. After what you  
did to my friend, I ought to-"   
  
"Ought to what, doctor?" Sid replied laughing. "Kill me? Wouldn't that be against your  
oath?"   
  
"You're right," Julian said, nodding. "You're not worth it."   
He eyed Sid. "Why have you brought me here?"   
  
"You should know the answer to that, doctor."   
  
"You have an assignment of some sort for me."   
  
"Yes."   
  
"What is it? Assassinating Chancellor Mortak? No, no. Blowing up DS9. No, I'll bet you want  
me to clone you," Julian replied, sarcastically.   
  
"Very funny, doctor. No, your assignment will be to work in the lab."   
  
"Doing what?"   
  
Sid began to pace a bit. "You're aware that Dr. Troi's implant began to malfunction,  
correct?"   
  
"Yes, otherwise, I might not have discovered it."   
  
"We didn't plan on that. We need you to correct the problem."   
  
"You want me to help you brainwash people? Sorry, but I think that would violate my oath  
too," Julian snapped, turning away from him.   
  
"Not as much as killing someone, or letting someone be killed."   
  
Sid had said that in such a way that it sent shivers up and down Julian's spine. He spun  
around to face his adversary. "What do you mean?"   
  
"It would be such as shame if anything happened to your friends on the station, or even  
that counselor you're seeing. What's her name, Ezra?"   
  
"Ezri," Julian whispered. They're doing the same thing to me that they did to Vicki Ann;  
threatening the people I love to make me obey their orders. Julian's eyes lit up with  
determination. He would do whatever they asked him, as long as it meant that no one got  
hurt. "Alright, I'll do it."   
  
Kira put down the PADD she was holding. "Doctor, Starfleet want to send someone to  
Cardassia to help those that are left. They'll probably be needing the same kind of medical  
treatment the Bajorans needed after the Occupation. I've suggested you."   
  
"But what about Admiral Kelley? I don't think he'll be too happy about me leaving Vicki Ann  
all by herself."   
  
Kira smiled. "I spoke to the admiral and I managed to convince him that Vicki Ann would be  
alright for a week or two without you. Besides, he's already got Commander Riker, Captain  
Picard and Dr. Crusher on his case about her probation and rank reduction. I wouldn't be  
surprised if in a short while he allows you to give her a promotion to make up for it."   
  
Julian forced a smile. He had to pretend that he was happy about this. He didn't want to  
leave the station, but he had to. Otherwise, he might be found out. It won't be that bad.  
It'll be nice to get back to real medicine for a while. It had been such a long time, he  
didn't know if he remembered what it was like.   
  
"What? You're leaving me here all by myself?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
Julian laughed. "You'll be fine, Vicki Ann."   
  
"How does the admiral feel about this?"   
  
"He's fine with it. Kira spoke to him about it, not to mention Commander Riker, Captain  
Picard and Dr. Crusher."   
  
"Really?"   
  
"Yes. Besides, I'll only be gone for a few weeks." He didn't know how long he would be  
gone, but he wanted to comfort her. He hated to see her upset. He loved her as much as  
the original loved Ezri. 


	13. 13

Chapter 13   
Non omnia possumus omne.   
Everybody cannot do everything.   
(Vergil, Eclogae)   
  
"So, how do you like your new position of power?" Beverly Crusher asked Vicki Ann over  
the comm link.   
  
Vicki Ann laughed. "It's only temporary. Besides, Julian will be back tomorrow. It's hard to  
believe it'll be two weeks that he's been gone."   
  
"Do you like the job?"   
  
"I LOVE IT!" Vicki Ann exclaimed.   
  
"Do I sense some enthusiasm there?" Beverly teased. "Maybe one of these days, you'll  
leave the station for your own CMO position."   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "I don't know. I've already fallen in love with the station. By the  
time my probation is over, I might never want to leave!"   
  
"Dammit!" Julian Bashir yelled as he slammed his fist into the console in Section 31's lab. He  
wasn't any closer to finding out why the implant was malfunctioning and he'd been working  
for what seemed like an eternity. He'd even lost track of how many days he'd been there.  
He really didn't want to solve the problem with the implant, but he thought that if he did,  
maybe they'd let him go home.   
  
Sid entered to check on Julian's progress. "How's it coming?"   
  
"I can't find a way to stop the corrosion of the circuits from the chemicals the brain  
produces. That's what causes the malfunctions.   
  
These chemicals build up in the brain and work on the circuits after a few months. I've  
tried everything from coating the implant to chemical reducers. The only other option I see  
at the moment is for you to put in a new implant every few months."   
  
"That just isn't possible. Sometimes agents have to be on missions for years."   
  
"Do you brainwash all your agents?" Julian snapped.   
  
"Only the more uncooperative ones."   
  
"You mean the ones who don't respond to threats on their loved ones?"   
  
"Exactly. And those who have no loved ones," Sid replied. "If there's a way to stop the  
corrosion, I'm sure you'll find it."   
  
"Maybe it's a sign."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Maybe it's a divine sign from God or the Prophets or whatever that what you're doing is  
wrong."   
  
"Very funny, doctor," Sid said, giving Julian a cold look before turning to leave.   
  
"Just out of curiosity, how are you explaining my absence?"   
  
"We're not. We sent a temporary replacement."   
  
Julian's eyes narrowed. "The clone you used to abduct Vicki Ann."   
  
Sid nodded. "I must be going now."   
  
After Sid was gone, Julian sat down and sighed. He didn't want Sid to see that he'd gotten  
to him. He could only imagine what was going on with his clone at the station. For all he  
knew, this 'other' him could be messing things up with Ezri. He wanted to go home and he  
would do anything to get there, even if it meant working for Section 31.   
  
"Dr. Bashir's shuttle is four hours overdue, sir," Ensign Marques told Colonel Kira.   
  
"Check with Cardassia and make sure he left," Kira replied. He probably visited with Garak,  
or found someone who needed medical attention as he was leaving.   
  
"Already done, sir. Cardassia said that he left on schedule."   
  
Kira looked up. "Get the Defiant ready," she replied, trying to hide the worry in her voice.  
All of a sudden, she had a bad feeling.   
  
May the Prophets be with him.   
  
"Dr. Troi, please report to docking bay seven. Bring a med kit," Kira's voice said over the  
comm system.   
  
Vicki Ann left the infirmary in the care of one of Julian's best nurses and left.   
  
"What's going on?" Vicki Ann asked, as she walked into the Defiant. She noticed that Kira  
was there, along with Ezri, Nog and Ensign Marques.   
  
Ezri looked up from her station, her eyes filled with worry. "Julian's missing."   
  
"He's not missing," Kira replied, both trying to comfort Ezri and reassure herself. "He's just  
a little overdue."   
  
"A LITTLE OVERDUE? HE'S FOUR HOURS LATE!" Ezri exclaimed.   
  
Vicki Ann went over to her friend. "Calm down, Ezri. We're all worried. I'm sure everything's  
fine. He probably just overworked himself on Cardassia and fell asleep at the helm."   
  
Ezri nodded. "You're right," she said, sitting back down.   
  
"Vicki Ann, you want to take the helm?" Kira asked, smiling.   
  
"Do you really have to ask that question?" Nog said, laughing.   
  
As Vicki Ann walked to the pilot's seat, she bopped the young lieutenant on the shoulder  
lightly. "Watch it, Nog. I outrank you and I work in the infirmary."   
  
"Yes, sir!" he replied, saluting.   
  
Vicki Ann laughed as she set course for Cardassia.   
  
"Warp five. Engage," Kira said.   
  
"Aye, sir," replied Vicki Ann.   
  
"I'm picking up a vessel of some kind in sensor range. It looks like it's pretty badly  
damaged," Marques told Kira.   
  
"Could it be Julian's shuttle?"   
  
"It's a possibility."   
  
"Any life signs?"   
  
"We're not close enough yet. Wait. . .now. Yes, one life sign.   
Human. Very weak."   
  
"Are we in transporter range?"   
  
"Now we are."   
  
"Beam them directly to sickbay."   
  
Vicki Ann was already out of her seat and was sprinting to sickbay with her med kit.   
  
Vicki Ann entered sickbay just as her patient materialized on the biobed. She gasped when  
she saw that it was indeed, Julian. She quickly scanned him. He had severe plasma burns  
over 80% of his body. His pulse was dropping rapidly. She grabbed a hypospray and  
programmed it for cordrazine. She had a feeling that nothing weaker would work. Nothing.  
She grabbed the cortical simulators and placed them on him. She monitored his condition  
while she charged him. Nothing. She went higher. Nothing. Higher. Still nothing. "Dammit,  
Julian. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" She felt a hand on her shoulder.   
  
"Vicki Ann, he's gone," Kira said.   
  
"No," she whispered. She tried again.   
  
"Vicki Ann-"   
  
And again.   
  
"DOCTOR!"   
  
Vicki Ann turned off the equipment. "Time of death- 17:34."   
She leaned over and put her head down on the biobed. "Oh, Nerys. It's not supposed to be  
this way." Vicki Ann felt Kira put her hand back on her shoulder.   
  
"I know, Vicki Ann."   
  
Vicki Ann sat up. "No, that's not what I mean. He and Ezri had just found each other and  
they were so happy. It's just like with Jadzia." Vicki Ann realized the extent of what she  
had just said. "Oh, God, Nerys. How am I going to tell Ezri?"   
  
"Tell me what?" a voice said from the doorway. "Oh, my God!"   
  
Vicki Ann looked up to see that Ezri had entered and was running over to Julian. Vicki Ann  
stopped her. "NO!"   
  
"I want to see him," Ezri replied.   
  
"No, you don't. Not like this. Remember him the way he was. Not like this."   
  
"Vicki Ann-"   
  
"Ezri, you're a counselor. You know the ramifications of this if you go over there. Don't do  
it."   
  
The tears began to fall down Ezri's face. "Oh, Vicki Ann!" She hugged her friend and cried  
on her shoulder.   
  
Vicki Ann tried to comfort her friend, but found it difficult because there was no one to  
comfort her.   
  
Vicki Ann slid into a chair and put her face in her hands. She let out a breath that she  
didn't realize she had been holding in.   
  
"How is she?" a voice asked from the doorway.   
  
Vicki Ann looked up. Kira was standing there. "I gave her a sedative. She's sleeping right  
now. She should be fine until we get home."   
  
"How are you?" Kira asked.   
  
"Me? I'm fine. It's Ezri I'm worried about. After all, how do you counsel a counselor?"   
  
Kira nodded. "Unfortunately, that job will fall on you since you're the doctor on the  
station."   
  
Vicki Ann laughed. "How can I counsel someone when I feel as bad as she does?" She ran  
her fingers through her hair nervously. "Julian was my best friend. He saved my life  
numerous times. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. And I couldn't even save him  
once."   
  
Kira put her hand on Vicki Ann's arm, comfortingly. "It wasn't your fault. You did everything  
you could."   
  
"Did I?" Vicki Ann asked, turning to face Kira.   
  
"Julian would be proud. You're beating yourself up just like he used to."   
  
Vicki Ann managed a smile and then shook her head. "You know, ever since we met, he's  
bragged about me. About what a great doctor I was, even when I wasn't practicing. I  
couldn't even meet his expectations when it was his life I was dealing with. You know, the  
biggest mistake Julian ever made was convincing Admiral Kelley to reinstate me. If I hadn't  
been reinstated, Julian wouldn't have been able to go to Cardassia because there would  
have been no doctor in the infirmary and-"   
  
"Vicki Ann, don't do that to yourself. Don't try to blame yourself for this!"   
  
"Someone has to take the blame!"   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Because nothing happens for reason. I ought to know that by now. There is a reason that  
this happened."   
  
"But it wasn't your fault. Look, I've got to get back to the bridge. If you need to talk, let  
me know, okay?"   
  
Vicki Ann nodded slowly. As Kira left, Vicki Ann buried her face in her hands and cried like a  
lost child.   



	14. 14

Chapter 14   
Nemo nisi mors.   
Nobody except death (will part us).   
  
Vicki Ann ran her hands down the front of her uniform. She told herself that she wanted to  
look like she was in complete control, but it was more of a nervous habit. She didn't want  
to do the autopsy and she had been called to Kira's office anyway. If she was lucky, she'd  
be able to delay the autopsy until the new CMO came. She checked her reflection on the  
computer console. She looked like hell, but it was no wonder. She'd had to sedate Ezri  
again once they arrived at the station. Ezri was now sleeping peacefully in the infirmary  
and would do so for the next four hours.   
  
As for Vicki Ann, she had pushed every emotion away. She was as detached as she could  
get. Not that she was that detached normally. That had always been one of her flaws as  
a doctor, she could never become that detached from her patients. To her, they were  
people with lives and families to get back to, or leave behind.   
  
Vicki Ann shrugged off her appearance and made her way to Kira's office. When she  
entered, Kira motioned for her to sit down.   
  
"Vicki Ann, I just spoke to Starfleet about needing a new CMO."   
  
Vicki Ann nodding, knowing that there would be someone new coming and she would  
probably be shipped back to the Enterprise.   
  
"And due to the number of complaints the admiral has received about your probation, you  
have been named as Julian's replacement."   
  
"What?"   
  
Kira managed a small smile. "Congratulations, Vicki Ann. You're the new CMO of the  
station. I just wish it could be under better circumstances."   
  
It all hit Vicki Ann at once. She managed to hide her emotions from Kira though. "So do I.  
Thank you, very much. It means a lot that you think that I can do the job."   
  
Kira nodded. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Now, I assume you want to return to the infirmary.  
But, before you go, there's one more thing.   
  
I was looking over Julian's final wishes, and he wanted you to take care of everything."   
  
"Me?"   
  
"Yes, he felt that it would be too painful for Ezri and he didn't want to bother O'Brien on  
Earth and you were already here."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "That sounds like Julian. Always thinking about other people." Too bad  
he forgot about me.   
  
"I'm sorry, but that means that the job of telling people falls on you. There's a list of  
people to contact included," she said, handing Vicki Ann the PADD that contained Julian's  
final wishes.   
  
"Thank you."   
  
"You'll make sure to let me know when the memorial service is?"   
  
"Of course," Vicki Ann replied. "Of course." She picked up a wisp of a thought from Kira. "I  
know that the two of you didn't always get along and that for a while, Julian thought you  
hated him."   
  
"I didn't-"   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "I know you didn't. And so did he. I just wanted to make sure you knew  
that."   
  
"Thanks, Vicki Ann," Kira said, smiling. "Thanks."   
  
Vicki Ann sat down at her desk in her quarters and turned on the viewer. She took a deep  
breath and sent a message to Earth. A few moments later, the link was active. A face  
appeared on the screen, an older woman with a wonderful smile. Vicki Ann hadn't met her,  
but had seen her picture. Vicki Ann forced a smile. "Hello, Mrs. Bashir. My name is Dr.  
Victorianna Troi. I'm a friend of Julian's."   
  
Mrs. Bashir smiled. "It's nice to finally have a face to go with the name. Julian talks about  
you a lot you know. He's constantly bragging about you."   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. That sounded like Julian.   
  
"Is everything all right?"   
  
Vicki Ann swallowed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bashir. I wish that I could say that it was. You see,  
Julian was sent to Cardassia to help with the relief efforts and on his way home, his  
shuttle was attacked by an unknown vessel. I'm sorry, I did everything I could, but it was  
too late by the time we got to him."   
  
By this time, Julian's father had come up behind Mrs. Bashir, who now had her mouth  
covered with her hand in shock. "Oh, my God. Julian," she whispered.   
  
Julian's father maintained control. "Has a memorial service been planned yet?"   
  
"We're working on that," Vicki Ann replied. "It should be within the next few days."   
  
"We'll leave tomorrow. Who's taking care of Julian's things?"   
he asked.   
  
"I am. Julian felt it would be to painful for Ezri and he didn't want to bother anyone who  
wasn't on the station."   
  
"We'll see you in a few days then. Thank you for telling us,"   
replied Mr. Bashir.   
  
"You're welcome," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
The link went dead.   
  
Vicki Ann sent another message to Earth. This time to the O'Briens.   
  
Keiko appeared on the active link. "Hi, Vicki Ann. It's nice to hear from you. To what do I  
owe this pleasure?"   
  
Vicki Ann smiled slightly. "Hi, Keiko. I wish this was a social call, but it's not." She explained  
about Julian's trip. "He was too far gone by the time we got there."   
  
Keiko's reaction was similar to everyone else's; a gasp or two, a reference to a deity.   
  
"There's going to be a memorial service sometime in the next few days. I'm not sure when.  
I'm supposed to be working on it, but things have been busy in the infirmary."   
  
Keiko nodded. "Have they found a new CMO?"   
  
"I've been chosen to replace Julian."   
  
"That's wonderful! Julian would have been proud. How's Ezri taking it?"   
  
"Not well, which is to be expected. She's been sedated most of the time since we found  
him. I can't keep that up forever, though. I've suggested to Kira that we bring in a  
different counselor temporarily until she's better."   
  
"That sounds like a good idea. I'll talk to Miles and we should be there in a day or two."   
  
"Give Miles my best. Oh, Molly and Yoshi too."   
  
Keiko nodded. "Tell everyone hello. We'll see you in a few days."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded and cut the link. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her  
arms around them. She let her barriers down and cried until she had no tears left.   
  
Ezri Dax awoke in the infirmary. "Julian?"   
  
Vicki Ann went over to Ezri. "It's me, Vicki Ann."   
  
"Where's Julian?"   
  
Uh-oh. "Ezri, Julian died. On the way back from Cardassia. Don't you remember?"   
  
Of course I remember. How could I forget? Ezri just didn't want to remember. Besides,  
she'd been sedated and that made her feel disconnected from everything. She didn't know  
what was real and what she had dreamt. "Yes, I remember. I'm sorry for the way I acted,  
Vicki Ann."   
  
"That's okay," Vicki Ann replied, putting her hand on Ezri's.   
  
"What are you doing here? Didn't they find a replacement?"   
  
"Me."   
  
"You?"   
  
"Yeah, me. I'd argue, but I'm outnumbered."   
  
"That's great, Vicki Ann. Julian would have been thrilled."   
  
"I'm sure he would. Ezri, I've talked to Kira and Starfleet is sending someone to fill in for  
you until you're better."   
  
Ezri nodded. "Good idea. I'm not any good to anyone right now.   
Do you know who they're sending?"   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "I don't know." She heard the doors open and she turned  
around. Deanna and Riker were standing there.   
  
"Hello, Vicki Ann, Ezri," Deanna said.   
  
"What are you doing here?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
"I'm your temporary counselor. We all had shore leave saved up and when the captain  
heard about Julian, he suggested I fill in for Ezri. Besides, we all wanted to attend the  
memorial service," Deanna replied.   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "Thank you," she whispered, hugging her sister. "It'll be good to have you  
here."   
  
"What are you doing in here all by yourself?" Riker teased. "Admiral Kelley wouldn't be too  
happy if he saw this. Where's the new CMO?"   
  
"You're looking at her," Ezri replied.   
  
"WHAT?" Riker and Deanna chorused.   
  
"I've been named as Julian's replacement," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
"Congratulations!" Deanna said, beaming. "Julian would be proud."   
  
I know. Everyone has said that today in one form or another. Julian would be proud.  
Julian would be thrilled. Believe me, no one knows better than me how high Julian's  
expectations of me were.   
"Thanks. I'm sorry, but if you don't mind, I have a lot of work to do."   
  
"Of course," Riker replied. "Come on, Deanna, you have to meet with Kira."   
  
Vicki Ann was sitting at a table in the replimat. She had her lunch in front of her, but it  
was untouched. She had picked up her spoon and started to stir her tea to cool it down.  
But, as she watched the amber liquid swirl around in her mug, a flood of images passed  
before her eyes. Images of the person who had first introduced her to this particular kind  
of tea. A person who was now gone and never coming back.   
  
"Is this seat taken?" asked a familiar voice.   
  
Vicki Ann looked up. "Garak."   
  
Garak tried again. "May I join you?"   
  
She nodded. "I didn't know you were here."   
  
"I just arrived. Things have quieted down a bit on Cardassia, so I was able to get away."   
  
"He would have been honored that you came for the service."   
  
Garak nodded. He looked at the woman across from him. He didn't know her as well as the  
senior officers, but he could tell that she was taking Julian's death very hard. She had  
attempted to smile at her last remark, but the muscles in her face were so used to  
frowning, that they wouldn't obey. In memory of his friend, Garak vowed to try and help  
the woman his friend had found so special. "I hear you've been named as CMO of the  
station."   
  
She nodded.   
  
"Julian would have been very proud of you."   
  
"I know."   
  
"He once said that he thought you deserved your own CMO position. It seems the good  
doctor thought very highly of you."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded, still stirring her tea, despite that fact that it had turned stone cold a  
short while ago.   
  
"I won't say what else the good doctor told me about you."   
  
Vicki Ann glanced up at Garak. "Why not?"   
  
Garak leaned toward her as if he had a secret. "Well, it was while you were dating and it  
might make everyone around us blush."   
  
Vicki Ann laughed. She actually laughed for the first time in days.   
  
Garak smiled. "Now there's that smile he loved so much."   
  
Vicki Ann's smiled widened. "Thanks Garak."   
  
The former tailor played innocent. "For what?"   
  
"For cheering me up."   
  
"It's no trouble. If Julian thought highly of you, then you truly must be someone special.  
Besides, it's not right for such a beautiful young lady to be frowning the way you were."   
  
Vicki Ann glanced down at her now cold meal. "I think I'm going to get a new lunch. Care  
to join me?"   
  
Garak nodded. "It would be my pleasure."   
  
Vicki Ann heard her alarm go off. "Just a few more minute," she mumbled to the empty  
room. Then, it hit her: today was the memorial service. As much as she wanted to stay in  
bed and forget that Julian was dead, she couldn't. She had arranged the memorial service.  
She couldn't not show up. Wishing she had made the service later in the day, she crawled  
out of bed and into the shower. She took an extra-hot, extra long shower that morning.  
She just couldn't shake the foggy feeling she had. She felt as if she was still asleep.   
  
It was probably the fact that she'd dreamt about Julian. She couldn't remember the  
specific details of the dream, but she remember seeing his face. This was odd because she  
usually remembered her dreams. It was probably just her subconscious trying to protect  
her from something painful. "Computer, what is the time?"   
  
"The time is oh-seven-forty-five."   
  
The service was at 0830 and she had to be there at 0800 to get everything ready and to  
greet people. She stopped the shower and began to get ready,. She walked over to her  
closet and took out her dress uniform. This was the first time she'd had a reason to wear  
it. As she passed the dresser, a necklace caught her eye. Julian had given it to her for her  
birthday. It was a D'jani friendship stone. The custom was to give it to a friend to ensure  
you never lost hem. She began to wish she'd given it to Julian. He'd also given it her  
because the jade-colored stone matched the color of the ocean on Chelsa IV, where  
they'd hiked a few times.   
  
She put the necklace on and took a deep breath. "I'm going to get through this, for you,  
Julian."   



	15. 15

Chapter 15   
Necessitatis non habet legem.   
Necessity knows no law.   
  
Vicki Ann walked into the infirmary. Kira was already there, setting up chairs with Nog.  
"Hey, I'm supposed to be here first," she teased, as she helped them.   
  
"I was already up and decided to come by. I didn't exactly sleep well last night," Kira  
replied.   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. I slept, but I couldn't even escape my grief in my dreams. "I'm sure  
everyone else feels the same way."   
  
"How are you doing?"   
  
"As well as can be expected. Although, I bet I'm doing better than Ezri."   
  
Kira put her head on Vicki Ann's shoulder. "You have every right to grieve. Julian was your  
friend, Vicki Ann."   
  
"I know, but I don't feel right grieving when Ezri has lost so much more than I have. If I  
lost David. . ."   
  
Kira nodded. "I know. But don't discount your grief because of that. Maybe you should talk  
to your sister later. You won't be the only one talking to her, Vicki Ann."   
  
Vicki Ann managed a smile. "I know."   
  
"Practically the whole station is booked to see her. And you know you can always talk to  
me. Sure, I'm no counselor, but I do have two ears to listen with."   
  
"I just might take you up on that sometime. We'd better finish up, some people are here,"  
Vicki Ann replied, pointing to the doorway.   
  
The officers were first, with the exception of Ezri, along with the O'Briens and the Bashirs.  
Vicki Ann went over to greet everyone. To her surprise, Mrs. Bashir embraced Vicki Ann.  
"Thank you. For taking care of everything and for your friendship with Julian."   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "No, Mrs. Bashir, I should be thanking you for giving us Julian."   
  
Everyone took there places. Everyone except Ezri. Kira nudged Vicki Ann, "Where's Ezri?"   
  
Vicki Ann shrugged. "I don't know. Stall until I find her."   
  
Vicki Ann walked down the corridor to Ezri's quarters. She rang the bell and hoped Ezri just  
slept in. No answer. "Computer, location of Lieutenant Dax."   
  
"Lieutenant Dax is in Dr. Bashir's quarters."   
  
Uh-oh, I've got a bad feeling about this. Vicki Ann left Ezri's quarters and continued  
down the corridor to Julian's. The door was unlocked. "Ezri? Where are you?"   
  
Ezri emerged from the bedroom, a smile on her face and Vicki Ann immediately sensed that  
something was wrong. "Hi, Vicki Ann. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the  
infirmary?"   
  
"Yes, and so should you. The memorial service is today."   
  
"Memorial service? For who?"   
  
"Julian."   
  
Ezri frowned. "Julian is not dead. He's on Cardassia. He decided to stay a little longer. I'm  
just getting things ready for when he comes home."   
  
"He's not coming home, Ezri."   
  
"How dare you say that!"   
  
"I know this may come as a shock to you, but the sooner you face it, the sooner you'll  
begin to deal with it. Julian is dead. He's not coming back."   
  
"Vicki Ann."   
  
"Ezri, listen to me. I think going to the service would be good for you. If you'll just listen to  
me. Julian died on the way home from Cardassia. Don't you remember?"   
  
"Of course, I remember. I thought it was a dream.," Ezri replied, beginning to cry.   
  
The sedatives. Damn. "Come on, Ezri. Let's go to the infirmary for the service."   
  
Kira sighed. She hoped Vicki Ann would get back soon with Ezri.   
Everyone was getting anxious. Just as she thought that, Vicki Ann entered with Ezri. She  
helped Ezri to her seat beside O'Brien and then went up to Kira.   
  
Vicki Ann leaned toward Kira. "I found her in Julian's quarters, getting things ready for  
when 'he comes home.' She's switching between denial and crying. I'm going to keep an  
eye on her during the service to make sure she's alright. I don't want to give her anymore  
sedatives, they're affecting her memory, so if she doesn't get any better, I'm going to  
have someone move in with her."   
  
"Sounds like a good idea. I'll keep an eye on her during the service, too."   
  
"Alright. We'd better get started."   
  
The service started with Vic singing Julian's (and Nog's) favorite song. O'Brien had rigged it  
so that he could attend the service. Then, Kira went up and spoke a few words. "We  
thought it would be best to have the service in the infirmary, in the place Julian loved with  
all his heart. Today we gather here to remember a remarkable man. A man who would give  
his life to save someone else. A man who could have done anything, but chose to use his  
brilliant gifts to help others. A man who would do anything to uphold the principles of the  
uniform he wore. All this said, I don't believe that anyone here could truly forget Dr. Julian  
Bashir." When she finished, she looked at O'Brien, who nodded. "Professor Miles O'Brien, a  
friend of Julian's, would like to speak."   
  
O'Brien went up. "What I remember about Julian was his enthusiasm and dedication. Sure,  
sometimes he was as annoying as hell, but he was a dammed fine doctor, and a good  
friend too. And absolutely unbeatable at darts. Julian was a wonderful person in general,  
and I, for one, am going to miss him. I'm not very good at this sort of thing, so I'm going  
to let Dr. Victorianna Troi speak now."   
  
Vicki Ann smiled at O'Brien as he walked by. She went up to the front of the room and  
took a deep breath. "Julian Bashir was a godsend, not only for his patients, but for all who  
knew him. If it weren't for Julian, not only would I no longer be in Starfleet, but I wouldn't  
be alive. Julian saved my life, literally and figuratively, too many times to count. When no  
one else believed in me, including myself, Julian did. When the Admiral didn't trust me,  
Julian personally vouched for my behavior. He got me reinstated and transferred here.  
Julian was a wonderful person, a brilliant doctor, and an exemplary officer. He refused to  
give up, even when the odds were stacked against him, especially if it meant saving a  
patient. I only hope that I can do half as good a job as Julian did as CMO of the station.  
As Miles said, Julian was a wonderful friend, and I will miss him dearly." Vicki Ann was  
holding back most of her tears, but a few slipped past her barriers and made tracks down  
her cheeks as she walked back to her seat.   
  
Ezri was up next. "I don't know what else I can say. Miles and Vicki Ann said it all. Vicki  
Ann was right. Julian was an angel, sent by God to help those who needed help. Julian  
would have done anything to save a patient, anything to save a friend. Julian's friends  
were the most important thing to him, besides medicine. But, he would have given all that  
up if it would have helped a friend. He had so much love inside him." Ezri paused, collecting  
her thoughts and trying to stop the tears. "And he gave it away without a second  
thought. We all loved him and-" The tears were too much for her. "I'm sorry. I thought I  
could do this, but I can't." She ran.   
  
Vicki Ann went to run after her. "Ezri!" she yelled, but Kira caught her arm.   
  
"I'll make sure she's all right. You wrap up the service," Kira said.   
  
Vicki Ann nodded and finished where Ezri left off. "I think what Ezri meant to say was that  
we're all going to miss Julian very much." She paused, gathering her own strength. " Julian  
had asked to be cremated and his ashes scattered on Bajor and Earth. I think it's fitting  
that Julian go home, but also to the place that he helped bring a new life to after the  
Occupation. May you rest in peace, Julian. This concludes the service. There will be a  
reception at Quark's. Feel free to eat and drink as much as you like, Quark was kind  
enough to give me a discount."   
  
Everyone managed to laugh the remark.   
  
"Thank you for coming."   
  
At the reception, Vicki Ann had to listen to everyone tell her how sorry they were that  
she'd lost her best friend. She hated it. How could they feel sorry? They hadn't lost their  
best friend. The only thing they might have is a memory of a loss of their own. She was  
seriously considering leaving when Kira came over.   
  
"How are you holding up?"   
  
"If one more person says "I'm sorry," I'm going to throttle them."   
  
Kira nodded. "Please let me know before you do and I'll call security."   
  
Vicki Ann smiled slightly. "Alright. I won't. But, I can't promise that I won't do something  
just as violent."   
  
"Did you see that Garak was here?"   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "We had lunch together the other day. He saw me moping in the  
replimat and decided to cheer me up." She saw the tailor approaching and smiled at him.  
"It's nice to see you again, Garak."   
  
"And you too, doctor." He turned to Kira. "And as always, it's a pleasure to see you,  
Colonel."   
  
"How are things on Cardassia?" Kira asked.   
  
"As well as can be expected. It will take a long time for us to recover from the Dominion's  
destruction," Garak replied sadly.   
  
"It took Bajor quite a while to recover from the Occupation,"   
Kira said. She noticed he was holding a small box. "What that?"   
  
"It's a gift, for Dr. Troi here. Julian had it made for your birthday. Unfortunately, I didn't  
get it to him in time, so he said he'd get you something else and give this to you later. I  
thought you might like to have it."   
  
Vicki Ann took the box. "Thank you."   
  
"Aren't you going to open it?" Kira asked.   
  
Vicki Ann obeyed and opened the box. Inside, wrapped in tissue paper was a sapphire blue  
scarf.   
  
"It's one hundred percent silk. He had it specially dyed. That's why it took so long. He  
hand picked the color," Garak told her.   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "I'm sure he did," she said softly. She took it out of the box and held it  
up.   
  
"It matches your eyes perfectly," Kira observed.   
  
Vicki Ann held back the tears that were threatening. "It's beautiful. Thank you," she  
replied.   
  
"I'm sure Julian would have wanted you to have it," Garak said.   
  
"If you'll both excuse me, I just remembered something I forgot to do in the infirmary. It's  
rather important. I'll see you both later," Vicki Ann said and quickly left.   
  
Kira shook her head as she walked Vicki Ann left. "I hope she'll be okay."   
  
"I take it she's not doing very well."   
  
"No, she's not. Although, she's excellent at hiding it when she needs to. You wouldn't even  
know she was upset unless you know her well enough to know when she's covering up her  
feelings. I just hope she deals with and soon, because the last thing we need is both our  
CMO and our station's counselor having nervous breakdowns."   
  
"Perhaps she just needs a little time."   
  
"I pray that's all she needs."   
  
As soon as Vicki Ann left Quark's, she picked up her pace and began to sprint. She could  
feel the tears streaming down her face and she didn't want an entire bar full of people to  
see. She wound up at the shrine. This is where she came when she felt she needed to  
speak to Jadzia. Her heart must have led her there. She picked up the scarf and tied it in  
her hair. She walked to her usual place and started to talk.   
  
"You know, Jadzia, I talk to you more now than I did when you were alive. I was always  
busy on the Goddard or the Enterprise, but now I'm here on DS9 and I think that you are  
too, sometimes. Wherever you are, I'm sure Julian's there too, so he'll here me too. But, I  
really want to talk to you. You would know what to do. You had seven lifetimes of  
experience. As you probably already know. I'm an absolute mess. Although you wouldn't  
know. I'm doing my best not to let anyone else see. Everyone on the station is expecting  
me to be a rock, just because I'm the one Julian chose to take care of everything, like  
that makes me a Vulcan. Besides, Ezri's worse and I can't help her if I'm a mess. But, I am.  
In the past year, I have lost two of my best friends. Both of them too young to die. Both  
with happy, productive lives ahead of them. I've dealt with your death and now it's time to  
deal with Julian's although, I'm not sure how. Last time I had Julian to help me get through  
it. This time, I'm all alone."   
  
The tears were falling full force now. She quit fighting and let them fall. "Why did you have  
to leave, Julian? You should have known better than to leave me here with your job. But,  
you didn't. You thought the world of me. Everyone keeps reminding me of that. You had all  
this faith in me, but did I deserve it? No. Not one bit. You shouldn't have talked the  
Admiral into reinstating me. I have done nothing to deserve your faith in me. I couldn't  
even reach your expectations when it was your life in my hands." She could barely speak  
now, she was crying so hard.   
  
A few moments later, she thought she heard someone enter. She quickly wiped her eyes  
and turned around. Molly was standing behind her, holding Kukulaka. Julian had said that  
she could have it. "Hi, Molly."   
  
"Do you miss Julian, too?"   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "Yes, I do."   
  
Molly held out the bear. "Here. He'll make you feel better."   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "No, Molly. He's yours now. Julian wanted you to have him."   
  
"He would want you to have him because you miss him."   
  
"She's got a point there," said a voice from the doorway.   
  
Vicki Ann looked up. O'Brien.   
  
"Go ahead," he urged.   
  
As Vicki Ann took the bear, she thought to herself I'm not alone. I have my friends and  
Julian's friends. They'll all been trying to help me all along. Garak, the O'Briens, even  
Julian's mother had had some kind words for her after the service. She hugged the bear  
tightly. "Thanks, Molly."   
  
"You're welcome."   
  
"Come on, Molly. Let's go back to the reception," O'Brien said.   
"We'll leave Vicki Ann alone."   
  
"Actually, I think I'll come with you."   
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "I think I'm ready to face everyone."   
  
Julian Bashir awoke in the quarters he had been given by Section 31. He thought he saw  
the outline of a figure in the darkness. "Lights," he called, almost forgetting where he was.  
  
The figure moved to the door and turned on the lights for him. Julian was rewarded with  
the eerie smile of Sid Patrick. "Good morning, doctor. I didn't want to wake you."   
  
"What do you want?"   
  
"I've got some bad news for you. Your clone was sent to Cardassia to help with the war  
relief efforts and was attacked on the way home."   
  
"By whom?"   
  
"That is unknown, but our sources say that it looks like the Breen. I'm sorry to say, but  
you're dead. You're clone, anyway. And as far as anyone else knows, he is the real Julian  
Bashir."   
  
Julian became angry. "You did this!" he said, standing up. "It wasn't the Breen. You did it,  
to make sure I'd stay in Section 31. To make sure I had nothing to go back to."   
  
"Doctor-"   
  
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Julian screamed. He calmed down. "I want to see the station. Let me  
look at your surveillance reports."   
  
"I don't think that would be a good idea, doctor."   
  
"I want to see those reports!" Julian snarled.   
  
Sid seemed surprised. "As you wish doctor. When you are dressed, turn on your viewer."  
He turned and left to make the preparations.   
  
Julian dressed and sat down at his viewer. Images kept flashing in his head. Images of his  
corpse, of his friends grieving, of Ezri. He turned on the viewer and was in no way  
prepared for what he saw. Instead of the station, he saw the Defiant. Kira, Nog, Ezri, Vicki  
Ann and Ensign Marques were looking for him. Everyone was on edge, trying to hide their  
worry. When they found the shuttle, Vicki Ann ran into sickbay. She managed to maintain  
professional while she worked on him.   
  
Until his pulse when dead. Then, she frantically tried to revive him again and again until  
Kira stopped her. Ezri ran in, saw Julian's corpse and began crying hysterically. Vicki Ann  
had to sedate her. Julian ignored the tears coming down his own face as he watched the  
rest of the footage.   
  
Vicki Ann was named as his replacement. Deanna Troi was sent as a temporary counselor  
to fill in for Ezri. Ezri quickly got worse, shifting between denial and hysterically crying.  
Vicki Ann did her usual   
I'm-the-doctor-and-therefore-must-be-in-total-control-at-all-times. Occasionally, in her  
quarters or at the service, she left a few tears slip. But most of the time, she wrapped  
herself in her work in the infirmary to forget about Julian. By the number of times he saw  
her in the images, he assumed she was working most of the day and not getting much  
sleep at night. There was a scene or two of her in her quarters and Julian quickly realized  
why she was working more and sleeping less.   
  
She was having nightmares. Probably about him. Not unlike how he had dreamt about  
Jadzia after her death. Except he and Vicki Ann were just friends. But that didn't mean she  
had to grieve any less.   
  
Julian began to pace. He had to figure out a way to get out of here. He couldn't let  
everyone think that he was dead and he couldn't let Section 31 trick him into joining their  
cause. If only there was a way that he could get a message to someone on the station.  
But, that was impossible. Section 31 would find out and they would not be happy.   
  
If only there was a way for him to send a non-standard message.   
It's too bad I'm not telepathic. Wait. There were drugs that allowed a non-telepath to  
communicate telepathically for a short time. But, the messages wouldn't travel very far.  
But, he could increase the dosage of the drugs. He could withstand a higher dosage than  
the average person because of his genetic engineering. He'd have to test it first. Vicki Ann  
was the only person on the station with enough telepathic abilities for it to work. That  
night, he'd send a simple suggestion and see if it came out in her dream. He'd have to pay  
careful attention and see if she gave any hints about what kind of a dream she'd had  
when she woke up. As he walked to the lab, he prayed that he would be able to get away  
with it and that it would work, so that he could finally go home.   



	16. 16

Chapter 16   
Amor vincit omnia et nos cedamus amori.   
Love conquers all and let us yield to love.   
(Vergil, Eclogae)   
  
That night, Julian gave himself 20cc's of a telepathy drug. A wave a dizziness passed over  
him a few minutes later. He called up the current visual logs. Vicki Ann was getting ready  
for bed. He waited until she was asleep for a little while. Then, he concentrated on the  
thought while at the same time, thinking of her. Vicki Ann had told him that if you  
concentrated too hard on actually sending the thought, it did more harm than good. He  
sent her a thought she wasn't likely to forget: the two of them using Julian's spy program  
in the Holosuite. After about fifteen minutes, Julian decided that it had to be enough.  
Besides, the drugs would be wearing off soon; they weren't very long-lasting. He didn't  
think he could handle another dose. His head was spinning and his stomach was doing  
somersaults as it was. He crawled into bed and hoped with all his heart and soul that it  
had worked.   
  
Vicki Ann woke up and shook her head. She'd dreamt about Julian again. Only this time,  
she remembered it. She'd dreamt about the time they used his spy program in the  
Holosuite. How strange. Why would I dream of that? She shrugged it off and began to  
get ready. Keiko had invited her over for breakfast before her shift.   
  
The door chime rang in the O'Brien's temporary quarters. Keiko, who was setting the table,  
said to her daughter, "Molly, why don't you be a good girl and answer the door for  
mommy?"   
  
Molly, eager to help, ran to answer the door and almost knocked over her father, who was  
coming out of the bedroom.   
  
"Watch where you're going, Molly," he scolded.   
  
"I have to answer the door," she replied, running again for the door. She opened the door.   
  
The door opened and when Vicki Ann saw no one in front of her, she looked down. "Hello,  
Molly," she said, forcing a smile. "How are you today?"   
  
Molly beamed. "I'm good, Dr. Troi. How are you?"   
  
"I'm fine, Molly. Thanks for asking," Vicki Ann replied, lying through her teeth. "And call me  
Vicki Ann. Dr. Troi sounds so formal."   
She made a face to express her disapproval at the title.   
  
Molly giggled.   
  
"Come on in, Vicki Ann," O'Brien called.   
  
Vicki Ann obeyed. She went over to the table and began to help Keiko.   
  
"You don't have to do that, Vicki Ann. You're a guest," Keiko told her.   
  
"That's alright, Keiko. It's fine. I just like to keep busy, that's all," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
Keiko nodded knowingly. "I'll bet it helps to keep your mind of things." When Vicki Ann  
nodded, Keiko added, "But you can't hide from your feelings forever. You'll have to deal  
with your grief eventually."   
  
"I know. Just not right now. Ezri's a mess and I can't help her if I'm just as bad."   
  
"How is she?" O'Brien asked.   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "Not good. She's alternating between denial and crying  
hysterically. She's been seeing Deanna almost constantly. Kira's orders. I'm not sure if it's  
helping, though. Because if she's in the denial phase while she's talking to Deanna, I'm sure  
all she talks about is how Julian is just staying longer on Cardassia and is coming home  
soon."   
  
O'Brien shook his head sadly. "This couldn't have happened at a worse time. She and Julian  
just got together. You know, Worf said that Ezri had feelings for Julian a month before she  
told him. Julian knew about his feelings for a while too, before he told her. Who knows?  
Maybe Julian would have gotten over his fear of commitment and they would have gotten  
married."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "Yes, but can you imagine how Ezri would have felt if she hadn't told  
Julian and this happened? At least he knew how much she loved him."   
  
They sat down at the table and began to eat. Everyone was quiet during the meal, except  
Molly, who told Vicki Ann all about her new school on Earth. They had a few weeks off and  
that's how she had been able to come back to the station. Vicki Ann smiled and nodded at  
Molly's monologue. When they finished, O'Brien said to Molly, "Why don't you go play with  
your brother?" This gave the adults the opportunity to talk without Molly hearing.   
  
"Seriously, Vicki Ann. How are you doing?" Keiko asked.   
  
Vicki Ann shrugged. "Sometimes I'm fine. Then, I do or see something that reminds me of  
Julian. It's kind of like when Jadzia died. There is one strange thing happening this time,  
though."   
  
"What's that?" asked O'Brien.   
  
"I've been dreaming about Julian, but when I wake up, I don't remember any details.  
Except this morning. Last night, I remember dreaming about his spy program."   
  
O'Brien chuckled. "Julian Bashir, Secret Agent for Great Britain."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "Exactly. Do you remember the time Quark, Deanna and Will set us up  
and put us in the same Holosuite? That's what I dreamed about."   
  
O'Brien remembered. The two of them had fought and broken up. Quark, Riker and Deanna  
had conspired to get them back together by placing them in the same Holosuite and saying  
that there was a character that looked like the other. It had worked. They admitted that  
they still had feelings for each other and worked out their problem. "That's strange, that  
you didn't remember any night but last night."   
  
"That's what I thought. I don't know. Maybe the other dreams were painful in some way  
and my subconscious was trying to protect me by preventing me from remembering."   
  
"Where this is a happy memory and therefore, you would remember it," Keiko added.   
  
Well, I don't know if I would call it 'happy.' Lately, any memory of Julian is painful. "I  
don't know. Maybe I should talk to Deanna and see what she thinks."   
  
"Good idea," O'Brien replied.   
  
"Well, I have to get the infirmary. Thanks for breakfast. I'll see you later. Bye, Molly. Bye,  
Yoshi," she said, waving to the two children.   
  
Julian Bashir could barely contain his excitement when he heard Vicki Ann describe her  
dream to Miles. It had worked. He'd have to try again tonight. There was one problem,  
though. He couldn't use these drugs more than two or three times, or he'd develop serious  
side effects. And he couldn't do anything major, either. It would have to be simple. He'd  
have to somehow get Vicki Ann to figure out that it wasn't him that had died, but his  
clone. The question was how.   
  
That night, Vicki Ann decided to try some relaxation techniques to forget her troubles. She  
took a long, hot shower, lit some aromatherapy oil, and put on some of the jazz that Will  
had given her for her birthday. She let herself get lost in the intoxicating rhythm of the  
music and breathed deeply to let the scent of the oil relax her senses. It worked. She  
relaxed and was able to fall asleep. Unfortunately, her troubles returned in her dreams.   
  
The next morning, Vicki Ann sighed when she woke up. She'd dreamt of Julian again. This  
time he was working in the infirmary. He was looking at the brain scans from his DNA  
pattern that he'd detected in her quarters. Suddenly, Vicki Ann had a hunch. She hurried  
up, got dressed, and ran to the infirmary without eating breakfast.   
  
Vicki Ann charged into the infirmary.   
  
"Dr. Troi, is everything alright?" asked one of the nurses.   
  
"Yes, everything's fine," she replied. "I just have some tests to run and I'd like it if I wasn't  
disturbed. Unless of course, it's an emergency."   
  
The nurse nodded and Vicki Ann went into Julian's office. After hours of searching, she  
found what she wanted. She called up the brain scans from when Julian died and  
compared them to the one Julian detected. Her eyes told her that they were identical.  
Genetically engineered or not, she wanted to be sure. "Computer, compare brain pattern A  
to brain pattern B."   
  
"Pattern A is an exact match to pattern B," replied the computer.   
  
"Compare both patterns to Dr. Julian Bashir's pattern from last year's physical."   
  
"Patterns A and B shows a slight genetic drift and shows exposure to tricolate and  
dethacol."   
  
Vicki Ann's jaw dropped. She had been right. Julian hadn't died on the Defiant. She tapped  
her comm badge. "Troi to Kira. Can you come to the infirmary? We have a problem."   
  
"What's going on?" Kira asked, yawning, as she entered Julian's office.   
  
"Sit down," Vicki Ann said, motioning to Julian's chair. Kira obeyed. "This may come as  
quite a shock."   
  
"What is it, Vicki Ann?" Kira asked, worried.   
  
Vicki Ann sighed. "Julian's not dead."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Julian's not dead. Our Julian anyway."   
  
Kira stood and walked over to Vicki Ann. "Oh no, Vicki Ann, don't you go on me, too. I  
need someone to keep their head on around here," she said, putting her hands on Vicki  
Ann's shoulders.   
  
"Nerys, I'm not crazy. I'm serious. The Julian that died on the Defiant was the Section 31  
clone that helped to abduct me."   
  
"Vicki Ann-"   
  
"I have the pattern right here." She showed the patterns to Kira.   
  
"By the Prophets. You're right."   
  
"What are you going to do about it?"   
  
"I'll tell Starfleet Headquarters."   
  
"And?"   
  
"That's all I can do."   
  
"What?" If Section 31 has Julian, he's in danger. We have to find him!"   
  
"I'm sorry, but we can't."   
  
"You're just going to desert him When he needs you the most? Some friend you are!"   
  
"Doctor! That is enough. This conversation is over."   
  
Julian watched as Vicki Ann and Kira argued about his rescue. He understood Kira's point.  
They had no idea where he was. He had to figure out tell Vicki Ann where he was. That  
night, he sent her another message, giving her the coordinates of the station where he  
was. He'd hacked into the computer. They were in code, but it didn't take him long to  
figure it out. He was so exhausted by the time he finished, he fell asleep in his uniform.   
  
Vicki Ann woke up. She had an idea where Julian was. She had no idea how, but she did.  
She had to go look. She dressed and ran to the docking bay.   
  
Colonel Kira sat at her desk and was looking over the security reports. She heard the door  
chime. "Come in." One of the infirmary nurses entered.   
  
"Sir, Dr. Troi hasn't reported in yet."   
  
Kira looked at the chronometer. It was 0930 and Vicki Ann was usually there at 0800  
sharp. "Computer, where is Dr. Troi?"   
  
"Dr. Troi is not aboard the station."   
  
"What was her last know location?"   
  
"Runabout pad three."   
  
"Damn." Kira turned to the nurse. "I'll talk to Dr. Crusher and see if she can fill in. Until  
then, let's hope nobody gets hurt."   
  
Julian Bashir had slept in. Probably because he was worn out from his telepathic  
communication with Vicki Ann. He saw a figure in his room again. "Sid."   
  
Sid walked over to him. "Yes, doctor. It's me. And this time, I've brought some friends."  
The lights flashed on revealing two large men. "You're getting some new accommodations  
doctor."   
  
The two men grabbed Julian and dragged him, kicking and screaming, to the prison cell he  
had originally awakened in.   
  
"This is for breaking into the computer system last night to get the coordinates of the  
station."   
  
"How could I tell anyone? I can't send any messages."   
  
"That's not the point, doctor. You shouldn't have done it. And now you are going to pay  
for your mistake."   



	17. 17

Chapter 17   
Quia natura mutari non potest idcirco verae amicitiae sempiternae sunt. Since nature  
cannot change, true friendships are eternal. (Horace)   
  
Vicki Ann knew she would be in trouble. She had no idea where Julian was, except for the  
nagging feeling she had in her head. She didn't know what she would encounter when she  
arrived. She just knew that she had to repay Julian for helping her get out of Section 31,  
even if she died trying.   
  
Julian Bashir was chastising himself for trying to get himself rescued. But, then again, he  
needed to get out of there before he lost his sanity. That is, if he hadn't already. He'd  
been in the prison cell for three days already and it didn't look like they were going to let  
him out anytime soon. Sid had mumbled something about, "When you've learned your  
lesson." and then laughing at the reference to Julian being a child. He felt like one, though.  
He remembered that Garak had said that his father used to lock him in dark closets as a  
child. Julian was beginning to know how he must have felt. He hoped that Vicki Ann had  
received the message and would either convince Kira to look for him or come look for him  
herself. Until then, he had keep his head and stay out of trouble.   
  
Vicki Ann checked the sensors. She had landed on a planet that had just felt right. There  
was not building ahead, but the sensor readings were strange and that could indicate  
some kind of cloaking device. She grabbed her med kit, which she had outfitted with a  
tricorder and a phaser in addition to the usual components. She beamed herself to a  
deserted part of what she perceived to be the building where Section 31 had Julian. She  
had been right. It was a station. She hid in a corner and opened her tricorder. She was  
picking up human life signs straight ahead. She modified the tricorder to scan for Starfleet  
uniform fibers. Same place, directly ahead. There were two other life signs nearby. She  
could take care of that. She'd programmed two hyposprays for sedatives. Taking a deep  
breath, she followed the signal and hoped it was Julian.   
  
Vicki Ann was at the doorway to the room where she thought Julian was. She was about  
to key in the doorway code when she heard movement behind her. She spun around and  
before she could face her attacker, a phaser blast hit her square in the chest.   
  
"What are you doing here, Dr. Troi? How did you find us?" Sid asked.   
  
"My shuttle was damaged and everything but the transporters were down, so I decided to  
beam aboard the planet to get help."   
  
"How did you know we were here?"   
  
"Lucky guess."   
  
"Try again."   
  
"The sensor readings."   
  
"Oh, I guess it's a result of your genetic engineering."   
  
"Guess so."   
  
Sid began to pace. "Well, doctor. You shouldn't have done that. And now you're going to  
be punished."   
  
Julian looked up. The door had opened and Sid's 'friend's' where carrying someone in. The  
person was wearing a Starfleet doctor's uniform with two and a half pips. She had long,  
golden-brown curly hair. It was Vicki Ann. By the looks of it, she was barely conscious.   
  
"We brought you a friend, doctor. It appears that she was here to rescue you. It's too bad  
she got caught herself." Sid's friends tossed her in and she immediately fell to the floor.  
"Sweet dreams, Dr. Troi,"   
Sid said, shutting the door behind him.   
  
Julian had managed to talk one of the guards outside into getting him some water. He took  
off Vicki Ann's uniform jacket and turtleneck, leaving her in her pants and tank top. He  
hoped it was enough to help cool her down. By the extent of her injuries, it looked like  
she'd been tortured for information. She was running a fever and if it didn't go down soon,  
she'd be dead. He tore off a piece of her turtleneck and dipped it in the water. He ran it  
across her forehead, wiping the blood and sweat off her face. Vicki Ann stirred slightly.  
Julian heaved a sigh of relief. If she was beginning to wake up, that was a good sign.   
  
A soft moan escaped from Vicki Ann's lips. She was dreaming, probably about her  
interrogation. "Vicki Ann, it's alright. You're fine. No one's going to hurt you now," Julian  
said as he tore off a new piece of cloth. The previous one was soaked with sweat and  
blood. "Vicki Ann, can you hear me?" If she was awake and able to talk, he would be  
better able to assess her condition. "Wake up."   
  
Vicki Ann heard someone calling her name. She recognized the voice. Her brain wasn't  
functioning enough for her to put a name or face with the rich accent that had made its  
way through the fog she was in. But, deep in the back of her mind, she knew that this  
was a nice voice. The person who had that voice wasn't going to hurt her. That voice was  
a friend. She managed to gather up enough strength to open her eyes.   
  
Julian smiled when Vicki Ann opened her eyes. "Good morning,"   
he teased.   
  
Vicki Ann looked up and was greeted with a smiling face that looked as bad as she felt. His  
dark face was thin and pale. He had cuts and bruises all over his face. Finally, her brain  
gave her a name.   
  
"Julian, is that you?" she whispered.   
  
He nodded and his smile widened. "Yes, it's me."   
  
It all sunk in. Vicki Ann felt five hundred different emotions tugging at her. She was in  
pain, but at the same time, she was absolutely ecstatic that Julian was alive. She smiled  
and touched her hand to the side of Julian's face. "I feel like I'm dreaming. Is that really  
you?"   
  
Julian laughed. "I'm not a ghost, Vicki Ann."   
  
Vicki Ann squinted. "Come closer. I want to tell you something."   
  
Julian shrugged and leaned toward her. "What is it Vicki Ann? Are you alright?"   
  
She grinned. "I missed you," she said, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she  
could.   
  
Julian smiled. "Thanks, Vicki Ann. I missed you, too." He was relieved when she let him go.  
"I know what happened with my clone. How's Ezri?" he asked, his forehead creased with  
worry.   
  
Vicki Ann frowned. "Not good, Julian. That's why I came looking for you."   
  
Julian raised his eyebrow. "Liar. You came looking for me because you feel you have to  
repay me for helping you with Section 31."   
  
Vicki Ann made a face. "Are you sure you're not telepathic?"   
  
"Vicki Ann-"   
  
"I know what you're going to say, Julian. You're going to say that I don't have to repay  
you for what you did. Okay, maybe I don't have to, but I wanted to. Besides, you're my  
friend and I wanted to help you."   
  
Julian gave her a skeptical look. "Okay, whatever you say, Vicki Ann."   
  
Colonel Kira sat at her desk, waiting for Ezri to show up for their meeting. She had finally  
decided to tell her about Julian. She had spoken to Counselor Troi, who had felt that it  
would be good to tell her instead of letting her continue with her delusion. The door hissed  
open and Kira looked up. Ezri was standing there, waiting for Kira to see her. Kira smiled.  
"Hello, Ezri. Would you sit down?"   
  
Ezri obeyed. "What did you want to see me about?"   
  
Kira sighed. "Well, you know that Dr. Crusher is working in the infirmary."   
  
Ezri nodded. "Yes, she's helping Vicki Ann."   
  
"No, she's not. Vicki Ann has gone AWOL and Dr. Crusher is filling in for her."   
  
"Vicki Ann went AWOL? Why?"   
  
"She uncovered evidence that indicated that the Julian Bashir that died on the way home  
from Cardassia was a clone. She believes that Section 31 is behind it. She went looking for  
him."   
  
"You mean Julian's missing?"   
  
"Yes, and right now, so is Vicki Ann. Now, Ezri, I want you to continue meeting with  
Counselor Troi. And I want you to promise me that you will not do the same thing as Vicki  
Ann. I don't want to lose you too."   
  
Julian kept an eye on Vicki Ann long after she fell asleep. Her fever had gone down, but  
fevers usually had a tendency of hitting their peak at night. So, he periodically felt her  
forehead and if needed, ran the wet cloth across her forehead. Eventually, his own  
exhaustion overcame him and he was able to escape the prison in his dreams.   
  
He dreamt of Ezri. He dreamt of coming home to her and never leaving again. He could  
picture her, sitting at Quark's or in her quarters, worrying about him like he had worried  
about her. He wanted to scoop her into his arms, wipe away her tears, and make her  
forget everything bad that had ever happened to her. His mind decided that it would be  
best not to dwell on these things and instead, attempted to cheer him up by reminiscing of  
his time with her before he had left. If anyone had been in that prison cell, they would  
have seen a small smile creep on Julian's face as he imagined himself back in his beloved  
Ezri's arms.   



	18. 18

Chapter 18   
Quem di diligunt adolescens moritur.   
He whom the gods love dies young.   
(Plautus, Bacchides)   
  
The next morning, Julian thought he heard footsteps. He kept his eyes closed and listened.  
The door creaked open and the footsteps entered the room. They came over to them.  
"Wake up," Sid's voice said.   
  
Vicki Ann's mind decided to help her cope with her situation by reminding her of happy  
memories. She dreamt of how she got back together with David and then her mind then  
switch to fantasies of going home and spending time with David. She was considering  
taking that leave she had coming and going somewhere quiet with him. Not Risa, not  
Betazed. Somewhere quiet, where she could forget the hell of the past month. Somewhere  
where she and David were the only people that mattered. Her dreams were interrupted by  
a sharp pain that struck her in the chest. She opened her eyes and realized that she was  
lying on the floor of the prison cell. Sid had decided to wake her up by kicking her. "It's not  
enough that you broke two of my ribs. You had to go for three, didn't you?" she snapped,  
sitting up.   
  
"Want to try for four?" Sid said, leaning down toward her.   
  
Vicki Ann shot him daggers. "If I could stand up right now-"   
  
Sid interrupted her. "Well, you're going to stand up, doctor."   
He grabbed her arm and pulled her up.   
  
Vicki Ann felt her equilibrium go and she began to fall. Julian, forgetting his own injuries,  
stood and caught her. "Easy, Vicki Ann." He turned to Sid. "She's very ill. Can she at least  
sit down?"   
  
Sid sighed. "I suppose."   
  
Julian led Vicki Ann over to the bench against the wall and helped her sit down. "What do  
you want?"   
  
Sid paced a bit, barely able to contain his excitement. "We have a surprise for you. We'd  
like to introduce you to the newest member of Section 31, Julian Bashir."   
  
"Not another clone," Vicki Ann muttered.   
  
"Not quite, doctors." He motioned to someone outside. Two people entered. One was one  
of Sid's lackeys and the other one was unknown to the both of them, but looked familiar.  
He was tall and thin.   
  
He had dark, curly hair, tan skin and bright blue eyes.   
  
"What are you talking about? I'm Julian Bashir, not him,"   
Julian replied.   
  
"Check again. For you," Sid said, tossing Vicki Ann a tricorder. Julian caught it and handed  
it to her. And for you, Bashir." He tossed Bashir a DNA scanner.   
  
Vicki Ann scanned the newcomer. "He has all the DNA of someone who's been genetically  
engineered. The DNA looks perfect."   
  
Julian scanned the newcomer's DNA. "Oh my God."   
  
"What?" Vicki Ann asked. "What's the matter, Julian?"   
  
"Wait a minute," Julian replied. He ran the scanner over himself and then her. He nodded  
sadly. "Just as I thought. Vicki Ann, look at the DNA." As she leaned over to look at the  
results, Julian said, "It's ours."   
  
"Meet Julian Bashir, Junior," Sid replied, laughing.   
  
Vicki Ann double checked. The DNA of the newcomer was a mixture of theirs. Her injuries  
were too extensive for her to sense him. Besides, his abilities wouldn't be as advanced as  
hers. I wouldn't count on that, mother. said a voice in her head. Her head shot up and  
she looked at him. "How?"   
  
"You should know the answer to that."   
  
"It wasn't enough that his parents were engineered, you had to tweak him a little bit more,  
huh?" Vicki Ann asked, sarcastically.   
  
"Only his telepathic abilities. It just wouldn't do to have him not have any psi abilities  
would it?" Sid asked.   
  
"But he looks almost as old as us," Julian replied.   
  
"Just a little accelerated growth, that's all."   
  
Julian looked at Vicki Ann. He could tell that she was trying to maintain control. He could  
see the fury boiling just below the surface. She would explode any minute.   
  
Forgetting her injuries, Vicki Ann leapt onto Sid. She knocked him down and she wrapped  
her hands around his neck. "How dare you do something like this!"   
  
Julian, along with Sid's lackey, managed to pull her off of him.   
"Calm down, Vicki Ann."   
  
She turned to him. "You want me to stay calm, after what they did to us?"   
  
"Yes. Don't sink to their level," he whispered.   
  
Sid seem to be happy that he'd angered Vicki Ann. "Yes, do calm down doctor. You're  
setting a bad example for your son."   
  
"You son of a bitch," replied Vicki Ann.   
  
"Temper, temper. You should act a little more like your son. You don't see him getting all  
emotional over meeting his parents, do you?" Sid remarked.   
  
Vicki Ann walked up to Julian Jr. "I can't believe you're actually going along with this. You  
have to know that this is wrong!"   
She considered the thought. "But, then again, your concept of right and wrong would  
come from them. And they probably told you that what they're doing is right and what  
we're doing is wrong."   
  
"That's because that's the way it is, mother," Junior replied.   
  
"No, it's not. You should know that. Even if they told you it was right, you have a heart, a  
soul and a brain to figure it out for yourself. You have to know that this is wrong!"   
  
"I know that it is right."   
  
"How can you say that with such conviction? With such certainty? How can you say that  
and not feel anything?" Vicki Ann reached out to him with her mind, hoping that she would  
find some glimmer of a conscience or a slight waver in his certainty. Nothing. She felt  
absolutely nothing. It was like she was staring into a big, black void. "Why don't I sense  
anything from you? Why don't I sense any emotions?"   
  
"Because he doesn't have any," answered Sid, practically beaming.   
  
"More of your tweaking, huh? It wasn't enough that you taught him your ways, but you  
took his emotions, too. Why didn't you just get a bloody Vulcan instead of ripping away his  
humanity?"   
  
"Because we wanted him."   
  
"Oh my God," Vicki Ann whispered, coming to a realization. "That's why you chose us, isn't  
it? Why you tried to recruit us. You didn't want us as agents, you wanted our DNA."   
  
"Not exactly. We did want you as agents, but when you refused, this opportunity  
presented itself. We had your DNA from our cloning experiments. By the way, if you're  
wondering, Dr. Troi, none of your clones were successful. Just the luck of the draw, I  
guess. We decided that instead of reworking someone into the perfect operative, like we  
tried to do with you, we'd create one."   
  
"Then why did you kidnap me again,?" Julian asked.   
  
"We needed a doctor to work on our implant problem. That's all.   
And since you're the best Starfleet has, with the exception of Dr. Troi, we chose you."   
  
"Thanks a lot," Julian muttered.   
  
"Then why keep us here?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
"We haven't decided whether or not you may be useful in the future," Sid replied. "Besides,  
we thought you might like to spend some time with your son."   
  
"Since you can't erase their memories due to the engineering, I would have them  
executed. They know too much about us," Julian Jr. said coldly.   
  
"Now, now Julian, don't be heartless. These are your parents you're talking about," Sid  
teased.   
  
Vicki Ann looked Junior in the eye. "Don't you feel anything for us? Not even an instinctual  
attachment? After all, we're your parents."   
  
"No," Junior replied.   
  
"We may be his biological parents, Vicki Ann, but parents we're not. A parent is someone  
who cares for a child and teaches them about the world, not just the people who supply  
the DNA," Julian said.   
  
"You're right." She turned to Junior. "Then, I guess Sid is your father. And your mother. We  
were just a means to an end."   
  
"Exactly, mother. I'm so glad you understand. Enjoy the rest of your stay," Junior replied,  
turning to the door. "Good day."   
  
The door shut behind them. Julian and Vicki Ann were left alone again. Vicki Ann turned to  
Julian. "Julian, how do we keep getting ourselves into these messes?" she asked, trying to  
lighten the mood.   
  
Julian shrugged. "I don't know, Vicki Ann, I don't know. Just luck I guess." He looked over  
at her and saw the tears begin to fall faster down her face. He put his arm around her  
shoulder and pulled her to him. "Go ahead and cry, Vicki Ann. There's no one here but us."   
  
Deanna Troi sat at the desk in Lt. Dax's office. When she had first come here, she had felt  
uncomfortable, like she was invading Ezri's territory. But everyone, including Ezri, had made  
her feel at home. She just wished she was getting somewhere with Dax. Ezri still believed  
that Julian was on Cardassia and that he was coming home. Kira had called Deanna to her  
office and told her about Bashir's clone. Maybe, now, she could get somewhere with Ezri.  
At least if there was a chance that Julian was still alive, maybe Ezri's delusion wasn't  
harmful. In fact, maybe it wasn't a delusion after all. Maybe she had known deep down  
that Julian was still alive. Who knows what the human mind is capable of?   
  
Deanna almost wished Ezri was able to work. She could use a counselor to talk to about  
Vicki Ann. Vicki Ann was AWOL and no one had any clue as to where she had gone.  
Deanna was afraid for her sister. Vicki Ann had a tendency to get herself into trouble when  
she let her emotions get the better of her. Deanna laughed. It was funny how they were  
opposites. Deanna's Betazoid side ruled, making her totally in touch with and in control of  
her emotions. She thought everything out before hand. Vicki Ann's human side was in  
control, letting her emotions control her. She was always doing things without thinking and  
letting her heart rule her head. The door chime rang. "Come in."   
  
Lt. Dax entered.   
  
"Hello, Ezri. What can I do for you?"   
  
"I just spoke to Kira."   
  
Deanna nodded. "She told you about Julian and Vicki Ann."   
  
Ezri nodded. "Would you have some time to talk?"   
  
Deanna nodded again. "You know, Ezri, I was just thinking the same thing. Maybe we can  
help each other."   
  
A few hours after Sid left, Julian and Vicki Ann's dinner was brought in. Julian didn't  
recognize the man who had brought it. Julian ignored him until he stood in front of Julian,  
as if he was waiting for Julian to notice him. "Yes?" Julian asked.   
  
The man leaned toward Julian as if he had a secret. "Tonight, at 0200 hours, you will be  
beamed to Dr. Troi's shuttle. You'll find everything you need to get home inside."   
  
"What about Sid and his friends?"   
  
"They will be distracted."   
  
"It what way?"   
  
"There will be an explosion in the lab."   
  
"How?"   
  
"The power couplings are going to short out."   
  
"That'll kill anyone in the building!"   
  
"The good of the many outweigh the good of the few."   
  
Julian nodded. "Why are you helping us?"   
  
"I don't agree with their genetic meddling, so I'm destroying the lab."   
  
"Thank you, but what are you doing about the bugs they have in here?" Julian asked.   
  
"They have been taken care of. Don't worry, doctor. Everything is taken care off."   
  
"What about a med kit?"   
  
"In the shuttle."   
  
Julian smiled. "You did anticipate everything. Thank you."   
  
"Wake up, Vicki Ann. We have to go," Julian said, shaking her gently.   
  
"What? Where are we going?" she murmured.   
  
"They're beaming us to your shuttle. We can go home."   
  
"Home?" She wasn't quite awake, so her voice was muffled.   
  
Julian decided against waking her up and just picked her up. A second later, they  
disappeared in a shimmer.   
  
When they arrived in the shuttle, Julian sat Vicki Ann down and began to check  
everything. While he was busy, she woke up.   
  
"Julian, how did we get into my shuttle?"   
  
"A friend in Section 31 beamed us out. We're going home."   
  
"What about Sid?"   
  
"Our friend is blowing up the lab. Sid will be killed."   
  
"Julian, what about-"   
  
Julian stopped her. "I'm sorry, Vicki Ann, but he'll be killed too."   
  
"Julian, we have to-"   
  
He put his hands on her shoulders. "No, Vicki Ann, we can't."   
  
"JULIAN!"   
  
"VICKI ANN! Listen to me, we can't go back. The bomb is going to go off any minute. We  
have to leave before we get killed, too."   
  
She glared at him. "Well, maybe you can desert him, but I can't. Even if he is a Section 31  
machine. With counseling, he could be fine." She started to walk out of the shuttle.   
  
Julian grabbed her elbow. "You can't!"   
  
Vicki Ann wriggled free from his grasp. "Yes, I can." She walked out and toward the  
building.   
  
Julian followed her, with his tricorder. "Vicki Ann, the couplings just shorted out! The  
building will go any minute!"   
  
Vicki Ann ignored him and continued walking to the building. Julian ran after her and  
tackled her just as the building in front of them exploded. Vicki Ann was crying and trying  
to get free from Julian.   
  
"Let me go! Julian, I have to go save him!" Her screams were silenced by the hiss of a  
hypospray. 


	19. 19

Chapter 19   
Factum est illud, fieri infectum non potest.   
Done is done, it cannot be made undone.   
(Plautus, Aulularia)   
  
Julian leaned back in the pilot's seat and thought he heard movement behind him. Great.  
Vicki Ann's awake. Time for another wrestling match. If they had been together, he  
would have found it funny. Even though he wasn't telepathic or empathic, he could feel  
her ice cold stare.   
  
"I hate you."   
  
He smiled. "Thanks, Vicki Ann."   
  
"You're welcome," she snapped. "I'm serious, Julian. I hate you. I can never forgive you for  
what you've done."   
  
Julian got up. "I saved your life and this is the thanks I get?" She continued to glare at him  
and Julian realized how hurt she really was. His expression softened. "Listen, Vicki Ann. I'm  
sure that once you have time to think about what happened, you'll be fine."   
  
"I'm not going to be fine! Julian, that was our son!"   
  
"Vicki Ann, he was a puppet of Section 31!"   
  
"I don't care. With therapy and time, he might have been fine!"   
  
"We don't know that!"   
  
"And you don't know that he wouldn't have been." She sighed. "God, we're arguing in  
circles."   
  
"I'm going to leave you alone. It's absolutely no use arguing with you now, you're too  
upset. Just don't make me sedate you again."   
  
"I'd like to see you try."   
  
Julian ignored her comment and went back to the pilot's seat. "Shouldn't you be flying?  
You're the first class pilot." He looked up and realized that Vicki Ann was standing over  
him.   
  
"Get up. Let someone who knows what they're doing fly this thing."   
  
Once again, Julian ignored her and obeyed. He had to let her have her space for a while  
until she got over her anger. Which, might be a while. Besides, if he talked too much to  
her, she might realize that he felt just a bad as she did, he was just better at hiding it.   
  
"Colonel, Dr. Troi's shuttle has returned. There are two life signs aboard. It's her and Dr.  
Bashir," Nog told Kira.   
  
"I'm on my way," Kira replied, getting up from her desk. She sprinted to meet them. When  
she arrived, she noticed that Vicki Ann looked upset and Julian was keeping behind her, as  
if he was the cause of her anger. Kira ignored it. "Julian, I'm so glad you're all right.   
  
You too, doctor," she said, eyeing Vicki Ann.   
  
"I suppose I'm in trouble," Vicki Ann said, frowning.   
  
Kira smiled. "No, you're not. Given the opportunity, I'm sure any of us would have done the  
same."   
  
"Thanks," Vicki Ann replied. Although, I'm beginning to wish I hadn't gone to rescue him.  
  
"Dr. Crusher is filling in. I suggest that the two of you rest for the next few days. Vicki  
Ann, if it's alright, I'd like to give Julian his job back."   
  
"That's fine with me."   
  
"There will be a staff meeting tomorrow at 0900 hours. I'd like you to share your findings  
about the clone. Julian, you can speak about Section 31."   
  
"I'm very tired," Vicki Ann said. "And I'd like to get checked out at the infirmary. . ."   
  
Kira smiled. "You're both dismissed."   
  
As Vicki Ann left, Julian walked up to Kira. "Something happened with Section 31 that I  
think you ought to be aware of before the meeting tomorrow."   
  
"Alright, let's go to my office."   
  
Julian walked into his quarters. Kira had said that Ezri was busy in her office, so he decided  
to come back and take a shower before going to see her. The doors opened and he was  
practically knocked over by Ezri.   
  
"Oh, Julian! I'm so glad you're alright!"   
  
"Thanks, Ezri," Julian said, laughing. "But, could you loosen your grip a little, I'm in some  
pain here."   
  
"Where does it hurt? I'll kiss it and make it better."   
  
Julian winced. "All over. But, we'll save that for tonight. Right now, I'd like to get a shower  
and then make a visit to the infirmary," he said, kissing her. He pulled away from her and  
looked her over. "You don't know how glad I am to see you." He hugged her again.   
  
"I missed you so much. When they said, you were dead, I didn't believe it."   
  
Julian scrutinized her again. "Vicki Ann said you weren't doing so well. Are you alright?"   
  
"I am now."   
  
Julian wasn't convinced. "Still, I'd like you to keep seeing Deanna."   
  
"Julian-"   
  
"No arguments," he replied, placing his finger over her lips.   
  
Ezri pouted. "Alright. Now, how about that shower?"   
  
"You're pretty lucky, Vicki Ann. Julian took good care of you,"   
Beverly Crusher told her as she ran a dermal regenerator over Vicki Ann's wounds.   
  
"Please don't mention him," Vicki Ann replied.   
  
"Why?" Beverly asked, her eyebrows furrowed with concern.   
  
"It's a long story. I don't want to talk about it."   
  
"You shouldn't have said that."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"I don't want to talk about it is doctor code for I really should talk about it. You should  
know that."   
  
"I guess I forgot."   
  
"This is what we're going to do. You are going to have dinner tonight with Deanna and me  
and you're going to tell us about it. No arguments. Is that clear, Commander?"   
  
"Yes, sir."   
  
Deanna Troi was finished for the day, so she closed Ezri's office and headed to the  
infirmary. She was meeting Beverly for dinner. When she arrived, she saw her sister sitting  
on a biobed being treated by Beverly. "Vicki Ann!" Deanna exclaimed. She ran to her sister  
and embraced her. "Thank heavens you're alright! Don't you ever do that again!"   
  
Vicki Ann smiled as she broke away from her sister's embrace. "I'm happy to see you, too."  
  
"You're joining us for dinner, I hope," Deanna asked.   
  
Beverly nodded. "Of course. I wouldn't take no for an answer."   
  
"If you don't mind, I'd like to freshen up first. Unless of course you like my new perfume.  
It's called Eau de Section 31," Vicki Ann replied, grinning.   
  
Deanna made a face. "We definitely like your old one better."   
  
As Vicki Ann walked out of the infirmary, Beverly turned to Deanna. "There's something you  
need to know before we meet her at her quarters."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Something happened in that prison cell. Something between her and Julian. You should  
have seen the look on her face when I mentioned his name."   
  
"Well, I can't imagine that it was a pleasant experience for either of them. Sometimes,  
when two people who are in a situation like that, in close quarters, tension can arise. This  
tension can cause heated arguments between the two people. It's only natural."   
  
"I think it's more than that. Julian did something that really hurt her and she hates him for  
it."   
  
"What, though? Julian would never hurt her willingly."   
  
Beverly shook her head. "I don't know. But, I'm going to go ask Julian and find out."   
  
Julian Bashir put on his uniform jacked and went to answer the door. It was Dr. Crusher,  
looking worried. "Hello, doct- I mean, Beverly. It's nice to see you. Come in."   
  
Beverly entered. "Thank you, Julian."   
  
Julian motioned to the couch. "Sit down. I want to thank you for filling in until Vicki Ann  
and I are better."   
  
Beverly smiled. "No problem. I'd be bored if I weren't doing something." Beverly noticed Lt.  
Dax emerge from the bedroom, adjusting her uniform top. "Did I come at a bad time?"   
  
Julian glanced at Ezri and then shook his head. "No, it's fine.   
What did you want?"   
  
"I'm here to talk about Vicki Ann," Beverly replied. She thought Julian looked physically ill at  
the mention of her name. What ever had happened, it had affected him too. "I know that  
something happened between you two in that prison cell. She absolutely hates you, Julian.  
What happened?"   
  
Ezri looked at Julian, confused. "I'd like to know, too."   
  
Julian sat down. "Sit down, Ezri. This could take a while."   
  
Beverly Crusher met Deanna in the corridor by Vicki Ann's quarters.   
  
"What did you find out?" Deanna asked.   
  
"You aren't going to believe this," Beverly replied. "It seems that Section 31 took samples  
from both of them when they were in captivity before. They used these samples to create  
a child which they accelerated the growth of and taught to be an operative."   
  
Deanna gasped. "But why is Vicki Ann mad at Julian?"   
  
"Someone sabotaged the facility and Vicki Ann and Julian escaped. Vicki Ann wanted to go  
back to their son and rescue him, but Julian wouldn't allow it."   
  
"That was probably the best option, considering the circumstances."   
  
"The lesser of two evils. Well, now that we know, let's ring the bell."   
  
Deanna frowned at her sister. They had finished eating and were sitting in the living room,  
talking. Vicki Ann was cleverly hiding her pain. Deanna knew what it was like to lose a child  
and she wanted to help her sister. Unfortunately, Vicki Ann hadn't mentioned anything  
about Julian Jr. Sure, she'd told them all about her interrogation and resulting illness, but  
not one word about her and Julian's child.   
  
"Vicki Ann, did something happen between you and Julian?"   
  
Vicki Ann looked confused. "What are you talking about?"   
  
Beverly frowned. "When I mentioned his name in the infirmary, you were ready to breathe  
fire."   
  
"Vicki Ann, we know what happened with Section 31," Deanna added.   
  
"What do you mean?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
"We know about your child," Beverly finished.   
  
Deanna moved over and put her arm around her sister. "And we want to help you get  
through it." Deanna sighed. "I never told you this, but I had a child once. And although he  
was only with me for a short time, I loved him very much. I still miss him." She then told  
Vicki Ann the story.   
  
"But, Deanna, I didn't even know him. I couldn't sense him. It was like he wasn't there. I  
don't know if I loved him or not. All I know is that when Julian said that there was a bomb,  
I wanted to save him. Despite what Section 31 had done. Despite the fact that he felt  
absolutely nothing for me or Julian. When I saw the DNA, I was in too much shock to feel  
anything for him, but later I did. I wanted to take him into my arms and protect him from  
Section 31 and do everything in my power to undo what those bastards did to him. But,  
Julian wouldn't let me."   
  
Beverly almost cringed when she saw Vicki Ann's face when she mentioned Julian. The last  
thing Vicki Ann wanted to hear was that Julian was justified in his decision. "Julian was just  
doing what he thought was best."   
  
"But he didn't even consult me! He was my child too! No, Julian was too obsessed with  
stopping Section 31. That and coming home to Ezri. That's all he cared about. And I can  
never forgive him for that."   
  
After Beverly left, Julian turned to Ezri. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just didn't want to deal  
with it. I wanted to forget everything that had happened in that prison cell."   
  
Ezri sat down beside him and immediately the counselor kicked in. "It's alright, Julian. You  
have to deal with this in your own way, in your own time. But, it would help to talk about  
it."   
  
Julian sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Did I do the right thing? He was my son  
and I let him die. I didn't even try to save him. In fact, I prevented Vicki Ann from going  
after him. I sentenced my own son to death for being Section 31's pawn. For just being  
alive."   
  
"Julian, you had to do it. Section 31 would have killed you otherwise. And with an agent  
like that, Section 31 would have been practically unbeatable. You did the right thing."   
  
Julian sighed again. "If I did the right thing, why do I feel like someone ripped my heart  
out?"   



	20. 20

Chapter 20   
Exitus acta probat.   
The result validates the deeds.   
(Ovid, Heroides. Cf. finis coronat opus.)   
  
Vicki Ann walked into the infirmary for her checkup a few days later. Beverly motioned to a  
biobed. Vicki Ann sat down. "How are you feeling today?"   
  
Vicki Ann replied, "I'm alright."   
"Are you sure?"   
  
Vicki Ann nodded.   
  
Beverly glanced up and saw that Julian had entered. "Excuse me," Beverly said, walking  
over to one of the nurses. "Stall Dr. Bashir for a while. Just keep him away from Vicki Ann."  
  
The nurse ran over to Julian. "Doctor, I'd like to speak to you for a moment."   
  
"Of course," Julian replied.   
  
"You're free to go," Beverly told Vicki Ann when she was finished. "You're fine. Just make  
an appointment to see Deanna or Ezri for a counseling session."   
  
"Yes, sir." Vicki Ann got up and walked toward the door.   
  
Julian noticed Vicki Ann walk by. "Excuse me," he said to the nurse.   
  
The nurse grabbed his arm fanatically. "Doctor!"   
  
Julian replied, "Later," and continued toward Vicki Ann. When he approached her, he said,  
"I think we need to talk."   
  
"Julian, I don't need anything from you."   
  
"I think we need to make an appointment to meet with Deanna together. We can help  
each other get through this."   
  
"I don't need your help. Besides, you didn't even care about him."   
  
"Who says I didn't?" Julian replied sharply.   
  
"Julian, don't your remember? You're the one who wouldn't let me rescue him. You're the  
one who let him die."   
  
"That doesn't mean that I didn't care about him. He was my child, too."   
  
"Then why did you let him die?"   
  
"I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE! Vicki Ann, we had to stop Section 31.   
There was no time to save him."   
  
"There would have been time if you would have let me go after him in the first place."   
  
"Then you would have been killed too! Would you rather be dead?"   
  
"YES! At least, I would have died trying to save my son instead of doing nothing, like you  
did!"   
  
"Dammit, Vicki Ann! That's it! As soon as I'm in charge again, I'm relieving you of duty and  
ordering you to see Ezri."   
  
"I'd like to see you try."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"I've requested a transfer."   
  
"You can't. Admiral Kelley said-"   
  
"I'm calling in favors."   
  
"Vicki Ann, you can't run away from your problems! Didn't we already discuss this, months  
ago? If you try to leave, I'll tell Admiral Kelley that you're unfit for duty. I will block your  
transfer until Ezri and I feel that you're better."   
  
"YOU WOULDN'T!"   
  
Julian looked her in the eye. "Try me." He flinched as she slapped him across the face.   
  
Beverly ran over and pulled Vicki Ann away from Julian. "ENOUGH!" She turned to Julian.  
"You, go over there," she said, pointing to a biobed. "I'll be with you shortly." As Julian  
obeyed, she turned to Vicki Ann again. "As for you, I'm ordering you to go see Deanna."  
When Vicki Ann began to protest, she added, "NOW! And you'd better talk about what's  
really wrong, otherwise, I'm going to wring your neck."   
  
Vicki Ann walked into Deanna's temporary office.   
  
Deanna looked up from her desk. "Hi, Vicki Ann. What can I do for you?"   
  
"Beverly wants me to-" She vanished in mid-sentence.   
  
Beverly turned her back to get a tricorder. "How are you feeling, Julian?"   
  
"I'm-"   
  
"What did you say?" Beverly asked, turning around. Julian was gone and all the nurses  
were staring at the empty biobed. "Where did he go?"   
  
"He just vanished," replied one of the nurses.   
  
Beverly frowned. "Q. Guess I'd better contact Colonel Kira."   
  
Vicki Ann reappeared on the planet where Section 31 had taken her and Julian. "What  
the-?" A second later, Julian appeared beside her. "Great!" she said, crossing her arms  
across her chest. "Alright, Q. Very funny. Jokes over. Let's go home."   
  
Q appeared, his face grim. "Not yet, Vicki Ann."   
  
"Why not?"   
  
"Some things have to be settled first. Between you and Julian."   
  
Vicki Ann shook her head. "Oh, no. I want nothing to do with him."   
  
"But Vicki Ann, he's your best friend."   
  
"Not anymore he isn't. Now take us home."   
  
"No," Q said, shaking his head. "There's something you need to see first." He snapped his  
fingers. An image of the inside of Colonel Kira's office appeared. She was seated at her  
desk with Admiral Ross. "This is what would have happened if your son had lived."   
  
Admiral Ross frowned. "I don't know how it happened, but Section 31 is stronger than  
ever. It all seems to have started after Dr. Troi and Dr. Bashir returned."   
  
"You don't think that they had anything to do with it," Kira asked.   
  
"I don't know. It's a possibility. Therefore, Starfleet Headquarters has asked me to  
conduct a formal inquiry on the matter."   
  
Kira nodded.   
  
The scene shifted and this time Julian and Vicki Ann were in the office as well. "Dr. Julian  
Subatoi Bashir and Dr. Victorianna Leonard Troi, you have been found guilty of treason.  
You are hereby discharged from Starfleet and your medical licenses are revoked. You will  
be sent to Jaros II, where you will serve a life sentence. You will leave immediately."   
  
Q snapped his fingers and the image disappeared. "Want to hear more? Section 31  
becomes more powerful due to Junior's genetic engineering. They take over all of Starfleet,  
which becomes paranoid about everything. Eventually, war breaks out with the entire  
Alpha Quadrant. The Federation is defeated and life as you know it ceases to exist. All  
Federation criminals are executed, including you two." He turned to Vicki Ann. "Change  
your mind any?"   
  
Vicki Ann sighed and sat down on a nearby rock. "I'm sorry, Julian. I shouldn't have blamed  
you. You were just doing what you thought was right. And you were."   
  
Julian walked over to Vicki Ann and nudged her over. He sat down beside her and put his  
hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Vicki Ann. I should have tried to be a little more  
understanding toward your feelings. But I want you to understand that I didn't want to  
leave him there. I wanted to save him as much as you did. But, I also saw the big picture.  
I knew the implications of a genetically engineered operative. We had to stop Section 31."  
He sighed. "We're going to have to talk to a counselor about this."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "I think a vacation might be good, too."   
  
"I agree."   
  
"I'm thinking of Chelsa VII. No Holosuites, no computers and no one but me and David."   
  
"Sounds nice. Except I'm leaning more towards Risa."   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "You would. Ezri, too?"   
  
"Of course. She needs a break as much as I do. Problem is, with you and me both gone,  
who's going to run the infirmary?"   
  
"Well, the rumor is that the Enterprise won't be back for a few weeks, so I think we can  
talk a certain redhead into taking the job. Besides, she'll be glad we're going away."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Two reasons. It will be good for our recovery. And she won't have us in her way,  
constantly asking her when we can get back to work."   
  
Julian laughed.   
  
Q rolled his eyes.   
  
Vicki Ann went over to him. "Hey, you never told me what happened with the Continuum."   
  
"There's nothing to tell. My brother and I were acquitted."   
  
"You mean that the Continuum has accepted its past?"   
  
"In a manner of speaking, yes. Alright. Time to go home." He went to snap his fingers, but  
Vicki Ann stopped him.   
  
"Thank you, Q," she said, hugging him.   
  
"You don't need to thank me. Seeing that smile back on your face is enough. But, before  
you go, there's something else I need to tell you. At least part of the Prophecy has been  
fulfilled with Junior's death. In return, the Prophets are taking care of him."   
  
"Do you mean that they-"   
  
"Sshh. I can't say anymore." He snapped his fingers and Julian and Vicki Ann were back in  
the infirmary.   
  
Beverly ran over to them. "Am I going to have to separate you two again?"   
  
Vicki Ann laughed. "No. We're fine. We talked. That and Q showed us that our regrets are  
meaningless because our son had to die in order to stop Section 31." Her smile faded. "It  
still hurts though."   
  
Beverly nodded sadly. "I'll bet it does. Are you going to talk to Deanna about it?"   
  
Vicki Ann glanced at Julian. "Are you free?"   
  
Julian nodded. "Let's go."   
  
They said goodbye to Beverly and walked to Deanna's office.   



	21. 21

Chapter 21   
Omnia mutantur, nihil interit.   
Everything changes, nothing perishes.   
(Ovid, Metamorphoses)   
  
Kira walked into the shrine. The chairs were already set up, the lamps had ample oil, but  
there was only one other person there: Vicki Ann. She was praying, or at least that's what  
it looked like to Kira. Vicki Ann must have heard her because she turned around. She  
smiled, but Kira could see that her eyes were filled with tears. "I didn't know you were a  
religious person."   
  
"I wasn't. At least until I met the Prophets. I know there's something above us. I'm just  
not sure what."   
  
"That's no crime."   
  
"What are you doing here so early?"   
  
Kira put her hand on Vicki Ann's shoulder. "I thought you could use a friend. Where's  
Julian?"   
  
"He and Ezri are with his parents. They didn't take it too well. Who can blame them,  
though? My mother didn't take it too well, either. In fact, if she wasn't so busy with my  
brother, she'd probably be here."   
  
"She would love to see you, I'm sure."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "David and I are going to spend a few days with here on our way to  
from Chelsa VII. Alacia and Michael, too."   
  
"Sounds like a good idea. You know Julian and Ezri are going away too."   
  
"Yes, Risa. But, they're meeting us at Betazed. Deanna says we need to spend some time  
together to help the grieving process. We thought it would be best to do it away from the  
high-stress environment of the station."   
  
"I have to ask you at least once. How are you feeling?"   
  
"Better than I did before I saw Q. The pain is a little less sharp." She looked up and saw a  
figure approaching in a command uniform and enter the shrine.   
  
"Hello, Ace."   
  
Vicki Ann beamed. "David!" She hugged him. "What are you doing here? We're not leaving  
for two days."   
  
"I thought you could use some company." He frowned. "How are you?"   
  
She sighed. "I'm getting really tired of people asking that, but I'll make an exception for  
you. I'm fine. For the moment. If my mood swings with Julian are any indication, you're in  
store for Janaran Falls tonight."   
  
"I don't mind. I'll be there to dry every tear."   
  
"Thanks. I mean it."   
  
I know you do he thought to her.   
  
Vicki Ann was almost startled. She'd spent so much time with non-telepaths, that she'd  
almost forgotten David was Betazoid. I love you.   
  
The feeling is more than mutual.   
  
"Alright, you two. I'm beginning to feel left out," Kira said, laughing.   
  
A little while later, a group of people formed at the entrance to the shrine. Kira recognized  
Julian's parents, who were standing with Julian and Ezri. The senior officers from the  
Enterprise were also there. Counselor Troi and Commander Riker broke the silence by  
coming over to speak with Vicki Ann. Crusher and Picard followed, as Riker and Troi went  
over to Julian. The rest of the people took turns, going to Vicki Ann first, then Julian.  
Everyone there was either a friend or a family member, since the ceremony was private.   
  
When Kira thought that everyone was there, she motioned for everyone to sit down. She  
went up and was ready to begin the ceremony, when someone walked into the shrine. He  
walked all the way up to where Kira and Vicki Ann were standing. His arrival sent whispers  
and stares along the crowd. Finally, Vicki Ann rose and greeted the newcomer.   
  
"Admiral," she said, her voice neutral.   
  
"Doctor," Admiral Kelley replied. "This is an official visit. Starfleet wishes to express its  
sorrow at the loss of you and Dr. Bashir's son."   
  
"Thank you, sir." The admiral took a seat at the back of the shrine.   
  
Kira began. "Today we gather to commemorate the death of Julian Bashir, Jr. son of Dr.  
Julian S. Bashir and Dr. Victorianna L. Troi. Junior, as he was known, was brought to life  
for the evil purposes. Despite this, and despite the flaws he possessed, his parents loved  
him.   
  
They would have risked their own lives to save him if they had been able to.  
Unfortunately, a higher power felt that it was not his fate to live amongst us. Instead, his  
death was necessary to prevent the fall of the Federation. In light of this, we are not  
mourning his death, instead we are celebrating it. Julian and Vicki Ann have chosen to  
perform the ancient Bajoran ceremony of the Rejoining. The Rejoining is a Bajoran  
ceremony to celebrate a person's returning to the Prophets. Vicki Ann, Julian, you may  
come up now." The Rejoining was not used much anymore, since people didn't want to  
celebrate death. Due to the circumstances of Junior's death, Vicki Ann and Julian decided  
the Rejoining would be the best ceremony for the service.   
  
Julian and Vicki Ann walked up to the front of the shrine. Kira pulled out a candle holder  
that had places for three candles. Kira then placed the candles in, two small black ones,  
and in the center, one large white one.   
  
"Kira will say the ceremony in Bajoran and Julian and I will repeat in English," Vicki Ann said  
as she and Julian lit the black candles simultaneously. They were fast burning candles, so  
they would be finished by the time their speech was done. "These black candles represent  
the trials of life from birth to death. They represent the hardships one must endure in  
order to prepare for life with the Prophets. They also represent the physical part of our  
existence. The part that must come to an end so that we can advance to a higher  
existence."   
  
"This white candle represents the spiritual aspect of our lives, our connection to our gods.  
We will light this candle as soon as the other two have finished burning. The burning of the  
black candles symbolizes the death of the physical self. The lighting of the white candle  
represents the passage from the physical life to the spiritual one," Julian said.   
  
Kira began to speak in Bajoran.   
  
"As the flame dies on this candle, so has the life of Julian Bashir Jr. The last spark of life is  
gone from his body and has traveled to the Celestial Temple," Vicki Ann translated. The  
black candles went out and Julian and Vicki Ann lit the white one together.   
  
Julian and Vicki Ann began to speak together. "May he find the peace he did not find in  
life. With this, we release our sorrow and celebrate his death. This candle will burn until  
there is nothing left of it to ensure his passage to the Prophets will be completed."   
  
Vicki Ann stepped forward. "Thank you for coming. There will be a reception in the  
wardroom."   
  
The crowd started to file out. Vicki Ann went over to Kira and hugged her. "That was  
beautiful, Nerys. Thank you."   
  
"You're welcome."   
  
"It was beautiful," Julian replied. "I suppose we should all go to the wardroom."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded and grabbed David's hand. "Come on."   
  
Alexander smiled. "Feeling better?"   
  
Vicki Ann smiled. "It feels good to let go."   
  
Lwaxana Troi had just put her son down for a nap. He had finally gone to sleep. She sat  
down on the couch. "Mr. Homm, a glass of water, please."   
  
Mr. Homm nodded and went into the kitchen. The doorbell rang, so he went to the door.  
He opened it and four people entered: Two men and two women. The men were carrying  
all of the luggage.   
  
"It's absolutely beautiful here, Vicki Ann," Ezri said, glancing around.   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "We'll have to take you two to Janaran Falls."   
  
Lwaxana leapt off the couch, forgetting her fatigue. "Vicki Ann!" She ran to her daughter  
and embraced her.   
  
"Hello, mother," Vicki Ann said as she pulled away from her mother. She turned to Ezri.  
"You remember Jadzia Dax, don't you? Well, this is Ezri, Dax's current host."   
  
"Of course, I remember. Hello, Ezri."   
  
"And Julian."   
  
"Julian, dear, how are you?" Lwaxana asked, embracing him.   
  
Julian smiled. "I'm fine, Mrs. Troi."   
  
"Call me Lwaxana."   
  
"Lwaxana," Julian repeated.   
  
"Mother, this is David," Vicki Ann said, putting her arm around Alexander.   
  
Lwaxana frowned. "Hello."   
  
Vicki Ann rolled her eyes at her friends. "Perhaps you could show us where you're putting  
us for the next few days, so that Julian and David can put the luggage down."   
  
Lwaxana nodded. "Follow me." They followed her up the stairs.   
When they reached the top, she pointed to the room on the right. "That used to be the  
guest room, but now it's Vicki Ann's when she visits. Vicki Ann, you and Ezri will be in  
there." Julian and David dumped the luggage by the door. Lwaxana led them across the  
hall. "This used to be Deanna's room. Julian, you and David will be in here. Vicki Ann, this  
was your sister Kestra's room before Deanna was born. We planned to have the girls share  
a room until they got older. We took out the second bed when we didn't think we were  
going to have any children. I put it back in for my future grandchildren."   
  
Vicki Ann laughed and then covered it up with a cough, as she turned on the light. Julian  
and David dumped the rest of the luggage. It was obvious that this room had been  
Deanna's. The colors in the room were subdued and there were paintings on the walls.  
There had been a few changes made since childhood, for instance, a photograph of Riker  
on the dresser and a photo of the Enterprise on one wall. The stuffed animals were piled  
on a rocking chair in the corner instead of the bed.   
  
Vicki Ann picked up a bear off the chair. "Oh, look, Julian. You have a replacement for  
Kukulaka."   
  
Julian grabbed the bear and put it back on the chair. "Very funny. Now let's see your  
room."   
  
"Alright," Vicki Ann replied. They all walked across the hall.   
Again, the owner of the room was obvious. The walls were painted blue with white clouds.  
There were some pictures on the wall, mostly nature scenes: the falls, the grounds of  
Starfleet Headquarters, and a few astronomical pictures. "You haven't seen the best part."  
She shut off the lights. The walls shone with glow-in-the-dark stars. "It's to remind me of  
home, whichever ship, or station it may be."   
  
"I like it," Ezri said.   
  
"If you're done inspecting my room, I'm starving," Vicki Ann said.   
  
The rest of the group nodded in agreement, except Lwaxana. "Your brother and I ate just  
before I put him down for his nap."   
  
"Ooh, I want to see him," Ezri exclaimed.   
  
Lwaxana pointed toward her bedroom. "I'll have Mr. Homm get some food ready for you."   
  
"Sshh," Vicki Ann whispered as she led them into her mother's bedroom. They walked over  
to the crib.   
  
"Oh, he's adorable," Ezri cooed.   
  
"Women and babies," Julian muttered to David, trying to ease the tension between the two  
of them.   
  
David just nodded and Julian shrugged at Vicki Ann, who had witnessed the exchange.   
  
"Nice try, Julian," Vicki Ann said, patting him on the shoulder.   
  
The baby must have heard them or something, because he stirred and began to cry.  
Julian, who was closest, picked him up. "Sshh. It's alright." He rocked the child gently in  
his arms and sang softly to him. Soon, the baby was asleep again.   
  
Vicki Ann grinned. "Nice job, Uncle Julian."   
  
Everyone else glanced at her. "Uncle?"   
  
Vicki Ann shrugged. "Its's the closest analogy."   
  
Julian gently put the baby back into the crib. He motioned to the others and they tiptoed  
out of the room and shut the door.   
  
Lwaxana returned from downstairs. "I had Mr. Homm prepare some food for all of you."   
  
Vicki Ann's eyes lit up. "I know! Let's have a picnic, at the lake. They'll love the lake, won't  
they, David?"   
  
David nodded.   
  
"Sounds wonderful," Ezri said.   
  
"Well, if our counselor recommends it, it must be a good idea,"   
Julian teased.   
  
"But, I would change first. It gets rather warm at the lake,"   
David replied.   
  
"Swimsuits would be preferable," Vicki Ann added.   
  
A little while later, Julian and David were ready. They went to Vicki Ann's room and  
knocked on the door. "Are you ready yet?" Julian asked.   
  
"Give us a few minutes," Vicki Ann called.   
  
Ten minutes later, Ezri and Vicki Ann emerged. Ezri was wearing a shimmering black one  
piece with a matching sarong. Vicki Ann was wearing a teal two piece. The bottom part  
were shorts, so she had no need for a cover of any kind. Both women wore sandals.   
  
Julian and David wore plain swimming trunks in the respective colors of their companions.   
  
"Hey, we match," David said.   
  
"Great minds think alike," Vicki Ann replied, kissing him.   
  
Julian looked Ezri over and grinned. "I think I like being able to see more of those spots."   



	22. 22

Chapter 22   
Serva me, servabo te.   
Save me and I will save you.   
(Petronius Arbiter)   
  
The lake was beautiful, just as Vicki Ann and David had said. The clear water sparkled  
bright blue in the sunlight and the surrounding foliage was reflected on the surface. Vicki  
Ann laid out the blanket down on the ground and David set the picnic basket down next to  
it.   
  
Vicki Ann knelt down and opened the basket. "Let's see what we have here." She pulled  
out a thermos and unscrewed the lid, smelling the contents. "Tarkalean tea." She  
continued, taking containers out and inspecting the contents. "Fruit salad, with both  
terran and non-terran fruit. Turkey sandwiches. Mmm, my favorite. Caesar salad.   
  
Another favorite. Delvin fluff pastries, Julian's favorite. Nectarian juice, Ezri's favorite." She  
looked up. "Well, David, my mother has voiced her displeasure with our relationship again.  
She included everyone's favorite dishes, most likely plucked out of their minds while we  
were talking. Everyone except you."   
  
David sat down beside her. "Whatever is here is fine with me."   
  
Vicki Ann smiled at him and then began to take out the dishes, silverware and cups. "Wait,  
there's something else." She opened the container. "How could I miss this? Chocolate cake  
for dessert." She grabbed a fork. "I think I'll have dessert first." She was ready to devour  
the cake when David grabbed her arm.   
  
"Hey, we'd like some of that too," Julian added.   
  
Vicki Ann pouted, but relented. "Alright. My thighs thank you, Julian. And so does the rest  
of me, otherwise I might have been running ten kilometers tomorrow morning to burn it  
off!" She got more forks and passed them out. "I'm putting the cake in the center and  
everyone else pile around it."   
  
As they ate, Ezri said, "You know, I heard that you should actually eat your dessert first.  
Something about the way your body metabolizes food."   
  
"Don't say that!" Julian exclaimed. "That's just an excuse for Vicki Ann to eat more  
chocolate."   
  
When they finished the cake, they started on the rest of the food. Between Vicki Ann and  
Julian, they drank all the Tarkalean tea.   
  
After she was finished, Vicki Ann yawned and stretched out on the blanket. "I think I'm  
going to take a nap."   
  
David laid down beside her. "Sounds good." Within minutes they were both asleep.   
  
Shortly, Julian and Ezri fell asleep as well.   
  
An hour or so later, Vicki Ann woke up. She nudged David. "Come on, let's go swimming."  
Their conversation woke up Julian and Ezri and the four of them ran to the water. "Last  
one in gets to carry everything back!" Vicki Ann yelled.   
  
"Hey!" Ezri replied. "You and Julian have an unfair advantage!   
Not to mention that all three of you are taller than me."   
  
"You're just jealous!" Julian laughed.   
  
"Am not!" Ezri shouted back.   
  
"Then quit complaining and run," Vicki Ann said.   
  
Ezri sighed. It was just her luck to be racing three tall people, two of them genetically  
engineered. "Looks like I lose."   
  
"Looks like it," Vicki Ann said, splashing her.   
  
"Hey!" Ezri exclaimed.   
  
A wave of water doused Vicki Ann from behind. She turned around and Julian was standing  
there, grinning from ear to ear. Vicki Ann tackled him, knocking him into the water.   
  
Julian glanced at Ezri. "Aren't you going to help me?" he pleaded, as Vicki Ann tried to dunk  
him again.   
  
Ezri shook her head and watched, laughing. If it had been anyone else, she might have  
seen it as flirting and been jealous. But, Julian and Vicki Ann were friends. Best friends, as  
a matter of fact. They had grown even closer since the mess with Section 31 and Julian  
Jr.   
  
They thought of each other as family.   
  
David, however, saw things differently. He did not like Julian. He saw Julian's joking manner  
toward Vicki Ann as flirting. He thought that Julian was trying to steal Vicki Ann. He  
decided to stop the wrestling match by splashing Vicki Ann and Julian.   
  
Vicki Ann dunked Julian and then turned to David. She tried to push him down, but he  
picked her up and threw her in the water.   
  
After they swam for awhile, the heat and physical exertion got them. "Let's go back," Ezri  
suggested.   
  
"Good idea," Vicki Ann agreed.   
  
The four of them gathered up the remnants of the picnic and headed back to the house.   
  
As they walked in the door, Mr. Homm took their things.   
  
Lwaxana entered. "You have a message coming in from DS9. It's from Deanna."   
  
Vicki Ann nodded. "You get to shower first, Ezri." She turned to David and Ezri. "As for you  
two, you're going to have to draw straws. Unless of course, you want to share."   
  
Julian backed up. "You can go first, David."   
  
Lwaxana had overheard. "You don't have to do that. Julian, you can use my bathroom."   
  
"Thanks, Mrs.- Lwaxana."   
  
Vicki Ann left the room, laughing to herself. She went into her mother's study and turned  
on the viewer. "Hello, Deanna."   
  
Deanna smiled. "I was just checking up on you. Judging by the smile on your face, I'd say  
you're doing better."   
  
Vicki Ann's smile widened. "We had a picnic at the lake."   
  
"You and David?"   
  
"And Ezri and Julian. We went swimming, too. I haven't had this much fun in months. Since  
before the war."   
  
"I'd say you're following your therapy regimen pretty well."   
  
"Ezri agrees."   
  
Deanna took a deep breath. "You do know that you're going to have to talk about this  
sometime."   
  
Vicki Ann sighed. "I know. I do have that Duranya Nerys gave me. You're supposed to light  
it and chant a prayer that will help the mourning process."   
  
"Ritual is often good in these circumstances."   
  
"The problem is, I've never performed this Bajoran ritual, so technically it can't be called a  
ritual."   
  
"It is your belief in the action that counts, not how often you do it."   
  
"Deanna, do you really believe that any of these Bajoran rituals will actually matter? I  
mean to the Prophets?"   
  
"Since I'm not a believer in the Prophets, I'm not a good person to ask. You should be  
asking yourself that question."   
  
"Maybe that's something I ought to figure out on this trip."   
  
Deanna nodded. Riker came up behind her and leaned toward the viewer.   
  
"Has your mother driven you crazy, yet?" he asked.   
  
Vicki Ann glanced around and saw that her mother was nowhere to be found. She rolled  
her eyes in reply. "She hates David and she's taking every opportunity to show it. On the  
picnic, she had Mr. Homm pack everyone's favorites but his. Oh, and of course she treats  
Julian like her long lost son-in-law."   
  
Deanna laughed. "She was pretty upset when you two broke up. Even more so than you or  
Julian."   
  
"If it's any consolation, she hated me at first," Riker replied.   
  
"WHAT? You're kidding! She loves you even more that she loves Julian! You're the son she  
never had."   
  
"She loathed me. She thought that I would make Deanna leave her obligations on  
Betazed."   
  
"And she was right," Deanna added. "Only he just made me admit what I'd been hiding for  
years; that her life wasn't for me. Starfleet must be in our genes, I guess. Don't worry,  
she'll come around eventually."   
  
"I hope. How is Beverly holding down the infirmary?" Vicki Ann asked.   
  
"She's having a blast. She said this morning that she was beginning to see why Julian  
chose frontier medicine. My guess is that by the time you're back, she'll be wishing for her  
own sickbay back."   
  
"Probably. Julian is having fun now, but by the time the vacation is over, he'll be stir crazy.  
Well, my muscles are begging me for a hot shower. Tell everyone hello and I'll talk to you  
later. Everyone else sends their regards as well."   
  
Deanna and Riker said goodbye and Vicki Ann turned off the viewer.   
  
Julian Bashir walked across the hall to Vicki Ann and Ezri's room and knocked on the door.   
  
Ezri opened the door, smiling. "Come in. Vicki Ann will be out in a few minutes." Ezri and  
Julian sat down on the bed. Ezri could tell that Julian was dreading this therapy session as  
much as Vicki Ann.   
  
She sld her arm around his waist. "Julian, it'll be fine. The sooner the two of you begin to  
deal with this, the sooner you'll feel better. And I think this will help. The purpose of the  
Duranya is to mourn. To help deal with the death of a loved one."   
  
"I know. I've just never been good at dealing with stuff like this."   
  
"You seemed to deal with Jadzia's death pretty well."   
  
Julian smiled. "Well, you helped with that. And so did Vicki Ann."   
  
Ezri nodded. "And we're going to help you this time. And just like last time, you're going to  
have to help Vicki Ann in return. You have to understand that you're not alone in this."   
  
"I know that."   
  
"Then act like it. Don't hold everything inside, Julian. Talk about it. If you're upset, tell  
someone. If you're sad, tell someone.   
  
If you want to cry, go ahead. They're plenty of shoulders around here.   
You have to let your feelings out or they'll eat you alive. Promise me you'll try, Julian."   
  
"I promise."   
  
The door of the bathroom opened and Vicki Ann emerged. "Ready?"   
she asked, Julian.   
  
Julian nodded and then got up to help her with the large candle.   
Once it was set up, they took out the prayer Kira had given them. They recited it as they  
lit the candle:   
  
"Rakah jarhout   
Shallah morallah   
Ehma boruh kanah   
  
Uhranak ranah nohm Julian Bashir Jr.   
Propay vah narah eh suuk   
Shallah cohm voana."   
  
They followed the directions and recited it the appropriate number of times. When they  
finished, they both realized they crying.   
  
Ezri walked over and hugged them both. A few moments later, there was a knock at the  
door. "Come in," Ezri called.   
  
The door opened. It was David. "Am I interrupting something?   
  
Vicki Ann looked up. "No, it's fine, David."   
  
Julian became uncomfortable and wiggled out of the three way hug. "I'm tired. I think I'll  
go to bed."   
  
David stepped forward. "No, Julian, don't leave. I'd like to apologize for the way I've been  
treating you. I understand that you and Vicki Ann are just friends. I'd like to thank you for  
helping her get through the rough times lately. For being there when I couldn't."   
  
Julian smiled. "You're very welcome, David."   
  
Ezri was practically beaming. "Okay, everyone. Group hug. The other occupants of the  
room gave her a strange look. "I'm serious. Hugs are wonderful therapy."   
  
Vicki Ann raised an eyebrow.   
  
"Group hug," Ezri repeated. "Or else."   
  
The four of them obeyed and wound up falling on the floor laughing. The healing process  
had begun.   
  
The end. . .for now.   
  
--   
May the real muses guide you and sprinkle you with magic writing dust:-)   
  
Meghan Elizabeth   
  
Visit my site:   
http://www.crosswinds.net/~meghanelizabeth/crosswinds.html   
  
Need a beta reader? Visit the Muses Sector at:  
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dreamworld/1481/   



End file.
